Expectations

[Nick]

Hai. I have a problem with high expectations. My goals are higher than anyone I know even though I have none. I expect the best from myself and everyone around me.

My first problem is friends. I want someone who is exactly like me. A nerd at heart but a desire to be the best person alive. I can make friends at school but once I get to know people I usually let them slip from my "Friends List", I move on... because they end up not being who I want. There is no one at my school that I want to be friends with because of my expectations. I have friends now who I used to worship... now I'm not even sure I like them.

My second is obviously dating. I also don't know of any girl I want to date because of what I expect. This is less of a problem though but it may get worse as I get further in to it. I'm okay where I am.

My expectations are constantly rising from day to day. I expect better of my life every day that goes by. I'm waiting for a crash because if I expect any more out of myself I will only be let down in the end. I don't WANT a perfect life. I EXPECT it. While everyone lets go of their dreams and ends up living the same life that everyone else ends up being stuck in, I will still expect the best and be let down.

[zegoni]

First of all, expectations are never bad, unless you become outcome dependant. Think of expectations like goals. Go for them.
I have the exact same feeling, but it doesn't bother me. I have 2 best friends, and they're exactly like me. In fact, it's quite scary. We often say exactly the same things or finish eachother's sentences.
As for girls, why would you EVER date someone below your expectations? That's like actually aiming for 2nd place. I'm really picky when it comes to girls, even just 1 night stands. They have to offer me something emotionally aswell as physically.

Just cut off your limiting belief and go pick up girls. The better you get to know people the more you/they adapt to eachother, and the more you'll feel alike. You may not feel like twins, but you'll be damn close.

[Alek]

alright lets take a step back. so everyday you are expecting yourself to be better, but in the end of the day have you really gotten further?

[Nick]

Jul 24, 2010 19:22:26 GMT -5 Alek said:

alright lets take a step back. so everyday you are expecting yourself to be better, but in the end of the day have you really gotten further?

What I'm saying is that my expectations used to be lower as a kid and they've slowly grown as I've grown. I don't expect more and more every day. . . I just expect my life to turn out more and more perfect as I get older.

Every day is a new experience for me though and every day I slowly change into who I want to become.

[Alek]

I just had a visualization about you, not saying this is right or wrong - but instead ask yourself. I feel that you have A very strong ego, like you want to be the centerfold and want everything to come to you. Or you want to assert yourself in a way, and not gain your respect. You just think that that is presumed and you dont need to work for it. First off, you'd need to change that.

Second, by the name 'callmegod' i think you have a very high ego about yourself. And the first step to realization is to drop the ego; have an ego death. Because an ego is just an inflated bubble that prevents you from living outside of it.

now ask yourself is that is the truth.

[Nick]

Jul 24, 2010 21:13:17 GMT -5 Alek said:

I just had a visualization about you, not saying this is right or wrong - but instead ask yourself. I feel that you have A very strong ego, like you want to be the centerfold and want everything to come to you. Or you want to assert yourself in a way, and not gain your respect. You just think that that is presumed and you dont need to work for it. First off, you'd need to change that.

Second, by the name 'callmegod' i think you have a very high ego about yourself. And the first step to realization is to drop the ego; have an ego death. Because an ego is just an inflated bubble that prevents you from living outside of it.

now ask yourself is that is the truth.

I've actually been working on losing my ego. It's there but it's in the back of my mind. Actually one of my main problems is paranoia... I don't know what to do about it.

The only reason I chose the name is because when I joined this forum I knew VERY LITTLE about PUA and I assumed at the time that being confident was what was wanted.

[RMO]

Expectations and ego.

different entities.

EXPECT the universe to go the way you see it. Have high expectations and shoot for the stars. you might not make it to the stars but I do land on a mountain. EXPECT the best out of everyone you know. EXPECT to be great.

These are just small subconscious cues you will try to emulate. They do not signify ego control, nor do they show who you really are. His name is not a recognition of his ego. His attitude is fear of failure. Realize that the fear is ego driven. It IS better to try and fail, then to never have failed. to make a connection to pick up this is how I feel about failure.

Every Rejection is a brick in my palace.

holding yourself and the world to higher standards is a good thing, never settle, dont bitch that you dont have that mansion however. Work hard, play hard, and reap the benefits.

[Nick]

Jul 24, 2010 21:42:23 GMT -5 RMO said:

These are just small subconscious cues you will try to emulate. They do not signify ego control, nor do they show who you really are. His name is not a recognition of his ego. His attitude is fear of failure. Realize that the fear is ego driven. It IS better to try and fail, then to never have failed. to make a connection to pick up this is how I feel about failure.

How'd you know my biggest fear is failure?

My problem is I don't see many people around my age guy or gal. I don't really get out THAT much. Something I need to work on. Which kind of goes hand in hand with getting good friends.

[RMO]

Jul 24, 2010 22:24:01 GMT -5 Nick said:

Jul 24, 2010 21:42:23 GMT -5 RMO said:

I'm waiting for a crash because if I expect any more out of myself I will only be let down in the end

fear of failure, didnt say it was your biggest.

[Nick]

This really sucks. I can hardly find anything I like. My friends constantly give me shit cause I don't even like playing the video games that they like. I can't really appreciate anything that is actually good. It really limits me on what I can do. Settling for merely good is the worst feeling.

My dad somehow figured this out about me and said something to me awhile ago. I think I might of even told him. He said he had really high expectations too and wanted it to be the same for him. I told him that's why I can't even find friends and he just said he understood that. I don't know what to do. I sound desperate but I'm not really that bad. It's just a lot of weight on my shoulders and it's overwhelming.

[Johnny Bravo]

You know. Ask yourself
"Do you find enjoyment in the little things?"

most likely, you don't. Thats why you don't like anything. You need to be the best, you want to the best, you want the best.
You don't like normal things, you want AMAZING things, you want the BEST things to happen to you.

I'm in the same boat, but heres where my life changed. I got kicked out. I lived with my mom, who is completely different than who I am used to living with.

This changed me. I realized that my dad and my step mom were forcing the way I act upon me. Expecting alot of me = Me expecting alot of me
Being rude/degrading to me = Me being rude and degrading.


You have to learn to realize that the best isn't always what is needed. And you need to realize that if you must always have the best, not everyone needs to know that you have/are the best.

This comes with time. Honestly....DONT GIVE A FUCK.

Start smoking weed, its great for making you relaxed and chill.