What's approach anxiety?

[scripts]

I thought I would add my two cents to how to get over AA. I used to be the guy who sat in the back, the shy guy who didn't like public speaking.. at all. But now I have done a 180 and can start a conversation with basically anyone.

I believe that the fear of failure is the only thing that holds you back from doing things you want to do. What do you do in order to get rid of this? Just ignore it, completely. Close your eyes and just go for it. Everything you want is right in front of you and you just need to reach for it. Taking a risk is just part of life.

There is a theory in psychology that talks about it. It is also explained in The Secret. You need to become what you want. If you want to be able to talk to anyone, just become the confident man.

Another trick you can use is Stephen Erdman's stop watch. It is a trick used to make you into the person that you need to become in order to accomplish a goal. To explain it simply, you evaluate the situation you are in, you think of what you need to be in order to accomplish it. You think about yourself and become the opposite of what you are.

comment and etc. I'm still trying to perfect this myself. My brain is still telling me that I shouldn't talk people I wouldn't normally talk to but I ignore it most of the time.

[amarok]

Apr 27, 2011 18:28:47 GMT -5 @scripts said:

My brain is still telling me that I shouldn't talk people I wouldn't normally talk to but I ignore it most of the time.

And how is this working out for you? What made me get over AA is a combination of knowing I had the skill of speaking somewhere else in my life--I could debate with adults on just about anything I was versed in--and simply being near-desperate to want to change. Desperation is a very powerful motivator, as it forces you to look at the possibility that it isn't everyone else, but maybe you yourself.

I suppose what I mean to say is that looking at yourself and realizing that there's a problem with you is extremely important in just growing as a whole into being able to speak to people.

[taxman]

^ nice. Actually when I started pick up I never had AA I was just nervous to speak to girls but still did it anyway. When I learned about AA it gave me an excuse. I would see a group of 5 chicks with my wing and say "no dude I have AA wait 5 mins" haha. You get AA and start to see obstacles when you take your eye off the goal. Nower days when I approach I may look at my chicks surrounding but honestly most of the time I'm like 65% with her (hmm which I need to actually work on) .. But really AA doesn't exist. Easiest way to get over appraoching chicks is grabbing your nuts, getting tunnel vision to your women and doing it again. Last sat I got really nervous approaching a 25 year old. I dunno, something got in me. It was the way she looked at me. I walked past her.. Took a deep breathe and came back. I introduced my self, told her I think she's cute. Got her name, age and blew myself out with my subcomms but when I got home I never thought about the blow out I thought about the balls it took for me to take action. Approach anxiety is a self limiting thought. You only see obstacles when you take your eye off the goal.

[scripts]

I see what you guys mean. If you take your eye off the prize, you lose focus and get bogged down by your AA. This is where the five second rule comes into play as well. I never really thought about how much it takes to actually do an approach and open. To the desperation, I remember reading it in The Power of Now or one of those ebooks. Now I see how it really comes into play. Thanks.