Post by Grape on Nov 8, 2008 19:01:39 GMT -5
The Importance of Rapport
Rapport is vital when socializing with others. It's the level of comfort between you and something, whether it's your surroundings, your social circle, or a person/friend.
The more comfort you have with something, the more you'll be able to do things naturally without having to feel like you need to fake yourself in order to be accepted. It's pretty much the greatest thing on the face of this Earth.
I really feel that rapport is going to the main focus for high schoolers. Think back to the PUA Gurus who say HB10s have 'bitch shields' because they want a valuable guy. Think back to needing lots of social value to get girls.
Now forget them. You no longer have those concepts in your head any longer.
Here's a new concept: HB10s have 'bitch shields' to guys they don't feel comfortable around. They want a guy who they feel very comfortable around and like they can be themselves. Like they don't have to feel repressed about anything and that they can let their true nature take over.
Makes sense right? Yep.
So the more a girl is comfortable around you, the better chance you have of 'scoring poon'. I hate using that term.
However, however, the gurus were point on in saying you need 'value'. You need to make them WANT to build rapport with you. They need motivation to want to be comfortable with you. They can't take the time to become comfortable with everyone they meet! They're hardwired to behave in such ways that require some sort of shields to protect themselves against aggressors and dangerous people. So.. be sure you're someone that she won't behave like this towards. Be someone who she wants to be comfortable with. I'll show ya how soon.
But first, I want to introduce another concept: The more people you build rapport with, the more value you will have.
The community emphasizes that you should talk to everyone, be a people person, and simply go out there befriending everyone cool. That this is key in 'working the entire room' and being the talkative guy.
Well.. you can do this by building rapport with everyone around you!! The more comfortable you make them, the more comfortable they'll be in conversing with you, cracking jokes with you, and having fun with you. And the more people you do this with, the more people will talk about you to others.
Soon, you're always talking to somebody. And most of the people in the room know who you are. And then when that HB10 comes in, and hears everyone talking about you, she'll get curious. What's so special about you that EVERYONE loves you? Attraction right there =]
So now SHE'LL want to build rapport with you.
And remember, rapport is VITAL when it comes to hooking up with chicks.
<33 Grape
Rapport Guide
Concept: Defining rapport and how it's built through FOCUS.
Rapport is the feeling of comfort with others.
To have something in common with someone is to have a feeling of "one-ness" with that person.
So the more one mirrors and shows that one is very similar to one's mark, the more rapport the mark will have towards one.
It is achieved when people have commonalities in things like:
- Lifestyles
- Events/Situation
- Social Circle
- Emotions
- Kinaesthetics
- Body language
- Vocal Tonality
- Gender
- Ethnicity
- Beliefs
- Personalities
It is very easy to build rapport. Since the conscious mind can only focus on one thing at a time, the sub-conscious mind figures that what ever it is focusing on is pretty damn important.
Everyone has so many things in common with each other. The only difference in the levels of rapport are the amount of knowledge and focus that one has on another.
Examples of Concept:
Have you ever felt like you knew someone you just met really really well? It's because you guys had direct rapport! There are many factors that contribute to rapport and sometimes you and the other person could have totally different lives. This is because the focus was NOT on the things that were different, but the things that were common.
You could go to a different classroom or lunch table and you would feel VERY uncomfortable because you would have no rapport with anyone!! That is until someone 'breaks the ice' and builds rapport!
You could find a girl very attractive and pretty, but you guys may have almost nothing in common with each other as where you may find that you and a normal pretty girl to have many things in common. Which one would you date if you were to? I'd say the normal pretty girl.
Applying the concept:
So now you must know how to bring another person's focus on the commonalities that you guys share.
This is done through: socializing!
Just talk about something you did the other day, while intentionally knowing that the other person has done something very similar to it.
Talk about the feelings you got, the way your mom yelled at you, the way a friend made you mad, and something that almost ANYONE has experienced!
This way, it doesn't matter who you are talking to, because that person has experienced the same thing you have whether you and him like it or not!
Not only this, you can also 'mirror' the other person's body language, breathing rates, facial expressions, moods, vibes, voice tonalities, and just everything that the person is showing directly.
The point of the system is: Focus not the differences, but on the commonalities that you share with another person.
<33 Grape
=============================================
Rapport on 4 Levels
There are 'four stages of rapport' that you can have with someone:
Cliche
This is when you and the person you are talking to don't really see anything in common with each other and decide to talk about cliche things like "Nice weather today, ehh?" It's cliche and boring. Both of you know there is nothing special between you two.
Factual
This is when facts are stated. Usually done between people who are in the same social circle but aren't really "friends". They'll talk about facts like "So Jamie just got arrested the other day." "I listen to music a lot too!"
Emotional
This is when you and someone else share feelings and emotions. You may say things like "I absolutely looveee that movie." "Those make me sooo scared." "I really like her."
It shows you guys are comfortable in opening yourselves up to each other.
United
This is when terms like "we" "us" "together" "You and me" "each other" are mentioned. It classifies BOTH of you into one entity. The ultimate level of rapport. You may say things like "I love YOU." "I blablabla bout YOU." "WE should do this." "They are jealous of US."
for the I and You sentences, both are used, making a connection between the two.
Enjoy,
<33 Grape
Hugee creds to:
- NLP for Dummies - Kate Burton, Romilla Ready
- How To Talk To Anyone - Leil Lowndes
Rapport is vital when socializing with others. It's the level of comfort between you and something, whether it's your surroundings, your social circle, or a person/friend.
The more comfort you have with something, the more you'll be able to do things naturally without having to feel like you need to fake yourself in order to be accepted. It's pretty much the greatest thing on the face of this Earth.
I really feel that rapport is going to the main focus for high schoolers. Think back to the PUA Gurus who say HB10s have 'bitch shields' because they want a valuable guy. Think back to needing lots of social value to get girls.
Now forget them. You no longer have those concepts in your head any longer.
Here's a new concept: HB10s have 'bitch shields' to guys they don't feel comfortable around. They want a guy who they feel very comfortable around and like they can be themselves. Like they don't have to feel repressed about anything and that they can let their true nature take over.
Makes sense right? Yep.
So the more a girl is comfortable around you, the better chance you have of 'scoring poon'. I hate using that term.
However, however, the gurus were point on in saying you need 'value'. You need to make them WANT to build rapport with you. They need motivation to want to be comfortable with you. They can't take the time to become comfortable with everyone they meet! They're hardwired to behave in such ways that require some sort of shields to protect themselves against aggressors and dangerous people. So.. be sure you're someone that she won't behave like this towards. Be someone who she wants to be comfortable with. I'll show ya how soon.
But first, I want to introduce another concept: The more people you build rapport with, the more value you will have.
The community emphasizes that you should talk to everyone, be a people person, and simply go out there befriending everyone cool. That this is key in 'working the entire room' and being the talkative guy.
Well.. you can do this by building rapport with everyone around you!! The more comfortable you make them, the more comfortable they'll be in conversing with you, cracking jokes with you, and having fun with you. And the more people you do this with, the more people will talk about you to others.
Soon, you're always talking to somebody. And most of the people in the room know who you are. And then when that HB10 comes in, and hears everyone talking about you, she'll get curious. What's so special about you that EVERYONE loves you? Attraction right there =]
So now SHE'LL want to build rapport with you.
And remember, rapport is VITAL when it comes to hooking up with chicks.
<33 Grape
Rapport Guide
Concept: Defining rapport and how it's built through FOCUS.
Rapport is the feeling of comfort with others.
To have something in common with someone is to have a feeling of "one-ness" with that person.
So the more one mirrors and shows that one is very similar to one's mark, the more rapport the mark will have towards one.
It is achieved when people have commonalities in things like:
- Lifestyles
- Events/Situation
- Social Circle
- Emotions
- Kinaesthetics
- Body language
- Vocal Tonality
- Gender
- Ethnicity
- Beliefs
- Personalities
It is very easy to build rapport. Since the conscious mind can only focus on one thing at a time, the sub-conscious mind figures that what ever it is focusing on is pretty damn important.
Everyone has so many things in common with each other. The only difference in the levels of rapport are the amount of knowledge and focus that one has on another.
Examples of Concept:
Have you ever felt like you knew someone you just met really really well? It's because you guys had direct rapport! There are many factors that contribute to rapport and sometimes you and the other person could have totally different lives. This is because the focus was NOT on the things that were different, but the things that were common.
You could go to a different classroom or lunch table and you would feel VERY uncomfortable because you would have no rapport with anyone!! That is until someone 'breaks the ice' and builds rapport!
You could find a girl very attractive and pretty, but you guys may have almost nothing in common with each other as where you may find that you and a normal pretty girl to have many things in common. Which one would you date if you were to? I'd say the normal pretty girl.
Applying the concept:
So now you must know how to bring another person's focus on the commonalities that you guys share.
This is done through: socializing!
Just talk about something you did the other day, while intentionally knowing that the other person has done something very similar to it.
Talk about the feelings you got, the way your mom yelled at you, the way a friend made you mad, and something that almost ANYONE has experienced!
This way, it doesn't matter who you are talking to, because that person has experienced the same thing you have whether you and him like it or not!
Not only this, you can also 'mirror' the other person's body language, breathing rates, facial expressions, moods, vibes, voice tonalities, and just everything that the person is showing directly.
The point of the system is: Focus not the differences, but on the commonalities that you share with another person.
<33 Grape
=============================================
Rapport on 4 Levels
There are 'four stages of rapport' that you can have with someone:
Cliche
This is when you and the person you are talking to don't really see anything in common with each other and decide to talk about cliche things like "Nice weather today, ehh?" It's cliche and boring. Both of you know there is nothing special between you two.
Factual
This is when facts are stated. Usually done between people who are in the same social circle but aren't really "friends". They'll talk about facts like "So Jamie just got arrested the other day." "I listen to music a lot too!"
Emotional
This is when you and someone else share feelings and emotions. You may say things like "I absolutely looveee that movie." "Those make me sooo scared." "I really like her."
It shows you guys are comfortable in opening yourselves up to each other.
United
This is when terms like "we" "us" "together" "You and me" "each other" are mentioned. It classifies BOTH of you into one entity. The ultimate level of rapport. You may say things like "I love YOU." "I blablabla bout YOU." "WE should do this." "They are jealous of US."
for the I and You sentences, both are used, making a connection between the two.
Enjoy,
<33 Grape
Hugee creds to:
- NLP for Dummies - Kate Burton, Romilla Ready
- How To Talk To Anyone - Leil Lowndes
