LightSwitch's Journal

[libertine]

Man those were painfully hilarious to read.

[RMO]

try reading some of your old post bro

[Sloth]

try reading my old ones.

[libertine]

Yeah man I know. What I was getting at was that he was really into the pua kind of thinking and that pulled him backwards.

[Sloth]

seriously read my old ones, i am a totally different person..

[lightswitch]

You know what I read my posts again and I saw the excuses I made. I didn't even realize it. Thank you Sloth. I am caught up in old-school PUA tactics, and my nights aren't as fun as I'd like them to be. I do think that there are ways that I am going backwards.

[jmac]

It's funny reading all of your posts

[Sloth]

i was a cringey no nothing ass hole

[lightswitch]

Thinking about it I feel like I'm the same way. I came into this with a big ego because of all the material I read. But I'm getting the fact that material doesn't mean shit. I've talked with a lot of my friends and talked with some guys on other forums too. I do need to unlearn a lot of the pickup theory I've read, and the egotistical persona that came with it.

[lightswitch]

Okay, so tonight I went to Medusa's in Elgin with Kosk, Steven, and Kosk's friend from Gurnee. His name was David and at the start of the night he was a pretty chill guy. To start off the night I didn't feel quite amazing because I had such little sleep the night before. Steven slept over, and we were up until 5 in the morning taking rips from a waterfall. It wasn't too detrimental, but I could have definitely used the extra energy. I'd say that it was a fairly bad move.

We all went to Portillo's to eat before we drove to the club. While we were talking David started talking about how he wanted to start going to clubs on a regular basis. So, I thought it was smart to try to talk to him about The Game. Bad decision. He didn't seem very receptive to it at first, but then he started asking me a bunch of questions on the ride there. It didn't seem like he was that genuinely interested, so I decide to just shut up and drop it.

He seems like he doesn't think that he has to change much, so I just kick back and decide we should just have a good time. I realize how stupid things go when you try to tell people about theory. They either ask you for your sexual history and expect you to qualify yourself to maintain credibility, they play these stupid power games, they AMOG you because they either see you as a threat or an object to tool on, or they give you this "guru" frame and expect you to never get blown out. None are good.

So we get out of the car and I spray up my pheros. So then everybody asks me if they can "get a spray", and they all take some for their own. I realized that pheros are 1. a crutch and 2. expensive to keep buying when you bring them for everybody and their twin to use. So after that I decided that from now on I"ll leave them at home so they don't get depleted by everybody mooching, and I don't feel like I have to rely on them to hit state before I get into the club.

So we wait in line, and David starts talking about the "Bro Code". And according to him, the bro code means that you "don't leave your boys in the dark." Essentially, if you got 3 guys with you, then that means you gotta make sure that the other 3 guys got a girl to dance with. He says that it's "not cool" to go and dance with a single girl if she doesn't have a friend for your other bud to dance with.

I think it was the biggest bullshit I've ever heard. This guy thinks we are going to have an awesome time going around like a chode crystal looking for 4 sets all night? Thanks but no thanks. But before I can say anything, Kosk says that it would be smarter to split up and then that way we can approach 2-sets. I quickly agree and grab Steven. Steven and I think the "bro code" is bullshit, but if Kosk and David want to follow the "bro code", that's their choice.

We get in about 11:45. We had flyers that gave us 10 dollars off before 11:30, and they still took them which was pretty chill. But we cut it really close and we were worried they weren't going to take them and we would be stuck paying the full 20. So next time we will definitely have to come earlier. We get in, take a walk around the dance floor, and go upstairs to the lounge area. We get a good idea of the setup of the place, so we split off and start the night.

I pull Steven aside and tell him how bullshit I think the bro code is. I tell him that if he sees a single set that he wants to dance with he has every right to go and dance with her. In fact, he is doing a disservice by letting his "bro" get in the way of a good night. I had no material with me, and I didn't think about "what I should open with" at all tonight. Not even once. Steven and I just went to the dance floor and we were both chilling and having a good time. I wasn't walking around the club trying to find a set to open, I was just kicking back and having a good time.

So, I start opening sets. I got blown out like 3 times but it didn't matter, I was still having a good time. But then we run into Mike and David, and David says that he wants to trade wings. So I reluctantly go with David and he opens a few sets. He gets blown out every time. His approach was utterly atrocious, and I tried to help him out. But he told me I was over analyzing the situation, and that his approach was fine. So he goes on a mad approach quest trying to prove me wrong.

His approach sounded like this: "Excuse me... Do you want to dance? My friend Miguel here, he's a really cool guy, also doesn't have anybody to dance with so he could dance with your friend here too. Sound good?" I'd say about 1/3 of the time he got blown out because the girls couldn't hear him and all that he had to say, 1/3 of the time because they genuinely weren't interested in dancing with him, and 1/3 of the time because they didn't want to speak for their friend and say that she would dance with a guy when she doesn't even know if the friend is interested or not.

This guy was letting his "bro code" philosophy get in the way of his game, his success, and his fun. Whenever I tried to turn away, go dance by myself, or go and open a single set, his claw of doom would reach out and grab me by the shoulder. "Come on dude, we gotta go find girls to go and open! We gotta wing for each other man!" I don't think I've ever had so much resentment at the title of "wing". It used to be something that I loved being considered, but tonight it just got in the way.

I pulled him outside a few times and tried to explain to him that his approach and his "bro code" guaranteed a crash and burn. He didn't need to explain to the girls the logistics of how dancing works. She's not that stupid. You just dance with her, and I dance with her friend. Plain and simple. He doesn't have to pull her aside, explain the play-by-play, and ask her if she is okay with his grand plan. We clearly both didn't see eye-to-eye, so he tells Kosk that I'm over analyzing his approach and grabs Kosk to go and dance. I'm totally fine with that.

At the end of the night he managed to hook one girl, and danced with her for almost the entire night. So he declared his approach a "success", even though the girl that he set up Kosk with ended up leaving after 5 minutes. So Kosk ended up finding me and we talked for a little bit. We didn't really see him until around 1:30, when he said he was done dancing with the girl. He left his "wing" by himself for about a full hour when he was dancing with this chick, and he didn't do one thing to try and "hook a brother up".

Funny how the bro code doesn't apply after he's locked into his set. Anyway, I had a lot more confidence today than I did the last two times I went out. I wasn't in my head thinking about openers or too caught up in approach anxiety. After I got away from David I opened like 3 more sets, and I'd say that one of them hooked. I danced with a girl and her friends for a few songs, but then I left to go grab a drink and cool down.

I was sweating profusely. I was definitely over-dressed for the club. Dress shoes and socks, slacks, black v-neck, and a purple button-down. The place had no air conditioning, and there was a line out the door to get into the bathroom. Tons of guys were coming in to get their chance to stand in front of the fan and to get a paper towel to dry off their head. This big guy had a ton of mints and stuff set up in the bathroom, and he was giving guys paper towels and stuff like that.

I talk to him for a little bit, and I tell him I appreciate him being such a bro. I put a dollar in his tip cup and he gives me another paper towel as I walk out. Next time I'll definitely wear a whole lot less. My hair was dripping, and no matter how much I dried it, it was still just as wet within a 10 minute period. So as I'm walking back into the dance floor a 9 starts dancing with me. I dance with her and she turns around and pops my collar.

It was drenched. She realizes how sweaty I am, and she moves on to the next guy. Awesome. So I get all self-conscious about my sweat, and I spend about 20 minutes walking around the club alternating my focus between drying off my head and looking for sets to open. Around this time the DJ calls all the "hot girls" onto the stage. I'd say a solid 40 girls ran to the stage. So I was like fuck it. I walked right up to the stage and I started dancing with all the girls.

But then some guy pushes me down from off the stage. I think, "well fuck this!" So I walk right back up and some guy starts talking to me. He says, "Is the stage only for girls or something?" And I was like, "I don't know, but if it is I'm going to change that real quick." So I start dancing with the girls again and a security guy shines the light on my face and says, "Dude, get the fuck out!" He pushes me back down off the stage, and he turns on his little microphone set up to the DJ system.

"The stage is for GIRLS ONLY. We have been escorting guys off of the stage, so we are telling you guys now. If you have a dick, then don't get on the stage." So I'm on the dance floor and I'm dancing by myself. I look around trying to look for a set to open but no big deal. I realize that like 1/3 of the girls were legit grenades, 1/3 were already dancing with somebody, and the other 1/3 were dancing on the stage.

And before I even realize what's going on, I realize I'm riding the chode train. A HUGE group of guys were just walking around the perimeter of the dance floor looking for girls to dance with. It was like nobody got in, nobody got out. I felt like the dance floor was a castle, surrounded by the chode moat keeping everybody out. I'd see a few girls by themselves on the dance floor, but the chode moat of destruction would block me off from approaching.

I managed to open like two sets, and only one of them hooked. We danced for a little bit but the chode train barreled through the area and we didn't have any room to dance so I just walk away. I got really aggravated and I went to the lounge area to cool down. (Mentally and physically, because I needed quite a few more paper towels by this point.) The club must have let in an influx of guys at this point, because the place was literally filled with them.

Chodes, chodes, everywhere. And not a girl to open. That's how I felt. I cooled off and I tried to find sets to open. My only option, all aboard the chode train! So after wandering around aimlessly for like 20-30 minutes I manage to find a set and I start dancing with them and it hooks. Thank god. The girls ends up leaving after like 5-10 minutes to go and catch up with her friends.

So I catch up with Steven again and he tries to open. But we both get stuck on the chode train for like half an hour. Literally no room for us to get off, and we are stuck going around on this quasi-congo line for a while. Steven managed to get out of its proximity a little bit here and there. During this time he opened like 4 sets, none of which hooked. We both agree that we would do best as lone wolves in the situation, so we both split off.

And then I see a girl dancing on table. A gorgeous blonde in a small little red dress. She was easily the most attractive girl there. A few guys were congregated around the table watching her dance. I felt like I could have opened if I wanted to, but I didn't because of the big group of guys in the way. Looking back on it I should have just made my way through and danced with her. I know the guys were no excuse, because it would have been a hassle to get through; but nothing like trying to get through the chode moat.

So I go back trying to maneuver my way back to the dance floor, and I see this security guy with a small little keychain flashlight. He has a big black shirt, and when he walked through EVERYBODY got out of his way. It was like magic. I felt like I was watching Moses part the Chode Sea. That was it. This guy was my golden ticket. I quickly run right behind him and walk behind the path he makes. I really need to get me one of those. I see a girl dancing by herself and I try to make my way over.

I start dancing with her but she shows no interest and pushes me away. So I just don't give a fuck anymore. I start dancing to the music and having a good time on my own. I avoid the chode train, and I'm not around any girls that I can open but I don't care. At this point, the club was like, 70% guys, 30% girls because most of the girls left due to the chodely, cramped atmosphere. Finally there was some wiggle room. Sure, there were a lot less girls but whatever, I get some breathing room.

The majority of sets I see around me at this point are either sets that have already blown me out, or who I have no interest in dancing with. I just keep dancing and I forget it. I ended up dancing with one girl, but I check the time and we had to peace it so I met back with the guys in the lounge and I got a few more paper towels from the bathroom. I gave the guy another dollar, and we talked for a bit. I learned his name was Rio, and he was a really chill guy.

So we headed out, and we stopped at a gas station to get something to drink. I picked up 2 gatorades and an iced tea because i was so fucking thirsty. David says that he had a great night dancing with his girl, and Kosk and Steven say that it was okay. They got really annoyed about how cramped of a place it was, and how much the chode train got in their way, but they felt like they had a good time given the circumstances. I get dropped off and we called it a night.

Things I Need to Remember:
Get a good amount of sleep the night before you go out.
Stop trying to show people The Game. It's not your job to recruit new members to the community.
Don't rely on pheros to get in state, and don't bring them for everybody you know to use. That's expensive and stupid.
If you are going to a place that offers a discount if you get in before a certain time, make sure you have plenty of time to get it by that deadline.
Fuck the "bro code". You are there to have a good time yourself, and it's not your job to make things happen for other people.
Don't expect your wing to do everything for you. And don't wing for somebody that expects you to do everything for him either.
Don't wear long sleeves unless you want to be a monsoon of sweat.
Get your hair cut short. Real short.
Get a keychain flashlight to take care of chode moats.
Get the girls while they are still there. Or better yet, avoid venues with very low girl:guy ratios.

[OHM]

Don't buy pheros period lol. Obviously if they worked like you would assume they would you wouldn't even have to approach. That shit's such bullshit haha.

The two things for you to remember:
1. Don't make excuses.
2. Be the exception.

[Sloth]

1. you're still in your own head about picking up girls, rather than having a good time -get your priorities straight.
Having said this if you want to go otu purely to pick up girls, then fine get over AA and all that, nothing wrong with that per say, but it leads me onto my second point.

2. now that your actually approaching and facing AA (congrats), it sounds like you need to work on your 'game'. You got a lot of rejections. Club game is all about boy language and how you carry yourself, cause nobody can hear what you say. So go over and be alpha, eye contact + sexy smile. A lot of the time that's literally all it takes.

[lightswitch]

Aug 21, 2011 20:24:18 GMT -5 OHM said:

Don't by pheros period lol. Obviously if they worked like you would assume they would you wouldn't even have to approach. That shit's such bullshit haha.

The two things for you to remember:
1. Don't make excuses.
2. Be the exception.

I don't think pheros are some "magic bullet". Do I think they help? Yeah. Do I think they will do all the work for me? Absolutely not. I know that I still gotta work on my game, and no product, whether it is a bottle of mones or an awesome DVD program is going to do that for me.

And Sloth I am going out to practice my game, primarily as a learning experience. But then again, the purpose of "learning game" is so that you can just have a good time and not have to worry about being the anti-social chump sitting in the corner of the lounge with nobody to interact with. I know I'm still in my head, and this is something I'll continue to work on with experience.

In response to your second point, I couldn't agree more. I still see some of my friends trying to run strong conversation game in night clubs with blaring music. I thought it could work the first time it went out, but now I'm realizing more and more that it's just not the answer. Thank you both for your input.