Post by optimus on Mar 12, 2009 23:32:17 GMT -5
In this video, mystery talks about the five levels of pickup. The highest level is social circle game. It’s the level you play at after you’ve already mastered approaching 1-sets, and groups, and multiple groups, and pivots. I think the levels are a little weird, but he backs up my point nicely: social circle game is hard. The hardest. Unfortunately, social circle game is the only tool you really get to use in high school and college. This means that if you’re in high school and you’re just starting pickup, you have to start at the top.
So what is social circle game?
In most pickup situations, you identify a target, approach her, and eventually close her. Once you engage a target, your eventual goal is to have sex with her. That is far from the case in social circle game. Social circle game (SCG) comprises two stages: 1) building a social circle and 2) gaming within it.
In high school, there is an additional aspect of SCG: popularity. If you are in the right circle then you will get the hottest girls, go to the best parties, and have the best friends. If you’re reading this, then you’re probably not in that crowd yet. That’s why I wrote this guide.
You may want to be a part of an established circle (say, the popular crowd), but you can’t just walk up and join. There are ways to get into it, but it’s easier just to merge your circle with theirs. But right now you don’t have one so ...
Step 1) Building your social circle
You start building a social circle the same way you game anyone else. Just approach a set and #-close it. See? that wasn’t so bad.
Next, approach more sets and #-close them. Approach anyone you see. Anyone you can close will help.
Don’t forget about these sets! As you keep meeting new people, stay in touch with the older sets. Text everyone a couple times a week. Be friendly but not too flirty.
Alright! Once you’ve got 16-30 people, it’s time to make a social circle! Call/text all of them and invite them (and all their friends) to a party you’re throwing. A barbecue/pool party is a good choice, but anything where people can mingle and hang out works. You might even be able to do bowling or karaoke (depending on the venue).
At the party, you only have one role to play: matchmaker! Act like you are everyone’s best friend and introduce them to each other. The more introductions you make, the better.
CYC emphasizes a concept called a “bridge.” This is the most important part of SCG. You want to bridge different groups. Whenever you hang out with one circle, bring a few people from a different one. Always be expanding people’s horizons. This is all you’re doing at the party. Show them that you know a lot of different people. Show them that you aren’t greedy about it by introducing them to each other.
Don’t just say, “A, this is B. B, this is A.” Show that you know these people! “A, you and B are both rock guitarists! You may have even played against each other in a battle of the bands. B, how is your guys’ album going?”
Every time you make an introduction you social proof yourself to both of those people and to anyone who sees you.
After the party, text everyone and tell them what a great time you had and that you hope to do it again.
Congratulations! You now have a social circle.
Tips:
Game mixed sets. All-guy parties are bad, but taco-fests aren’t much better.
Stay in contact. If you haven’t talked to someone in weeks, they won’t come to your party.
Meet regularly. It doesn’t matter if that was the greatest party of all time, you need to keep meeting or you aren’t a social circle. Go out, do things as a group, have fun.
Now you have a nice group and you met some people at your party. Now it’s time to ...
Step 2) Expand your circle
This is easy. Keep approaching sets and keep throwing parties. Every time you get a chance to meet someone, take it. You want to be the guy that everyone thinks of as having infinity friends.
There’s really no limit to how big your circle can grow. You don’t have to be buddy-buddy with all of them, but stay in touch and have fun.
Don’t underestimate the friends-of-friends factor. If a member of your group introduces you to someone, they want to impress you. That means this guy is probably going to be pretty cool. Welcome him with open arms.
Okay. Now you have a nice, big social circle, but you still haven’t gotten any action. Here comes the easy part ...
Step 3) Game within your circle
If your circle is large enough, there will be little mini-circles within it. Be the center of all of them.
Being the bridge gives you all the DHV and social roof you need. You can take any girl from your circle, do a little bit of comfort with her, and ask her out without fear.
Warning:
If you date or hook up with a member of a mini-circle, the (female) leader of that circle will be off-limits to you. You’re basically saying that you are of equal value to her (lower-valued) friend. People from other mini-circles won’t care, so don’t worry too much about the value of the girl.
Remember back when you wanted to be a part of the popular circle? It’s been a few months and you’ve built an impressive social circle, but now it’s time to ...
Step 4) Merge groups!
There are two ways to merge your group. Either join theirs or bring them into yours. Which you do depends on the group. Usually one will be easier than the other.
Remember how being a bridge helped social proof you when building your circle? This is the same thing.
If you get invited to one of their parties, select a few of the coolest people you know (from your huge social circle) and bring them with you. If they hit it off with the cool kids, you’re in. Now you can just treat them like another mini-circle.
If you can’t join theirs, bring them to yours. Invite all the cool kids to one of your parties. If any of them show, you’ll social proof them with all your friends and they’ll want to join your group. Treat them like another mini-circle.
You won’t get included immediately, but if you keep showing them a good time, they’ll start to include you more and more.
Tips:
If you’ve made it this far, you don’t need my help.
The hardest part about merging into this group is getting an invite to their party or getting them to show at yours. Because most of your work has been outside of school, they probably still think of you as having lower value. Be patient. If you can’t, you could always crash their party with two dozen of the hottest girls you can find. I’ve never tried it, but I don’t know how it could fail.
One important note:
As you develop your life outside of school you will probably realize that the “cool” kids aren’t really all they’re cracked up to be. You’ll find your own friends and have fun with your own group. Making that realization is a big step. You can act cool and tell stories, but nothing will ever DHV you as much as knowing your better than those kids.
So what is social circle game?
In most pickup situations, you identify a target, approach her, and eventually close her. Once you engage a target, your eventual goal is to have sex with her. That is far from the case in social circle game. Social circle game (SCG) comprises two stages: 1) building a social circle and 2) gaming within it.
In high school, there is an additional aspect of SCG: popularity. If you are in the right circle then you will get the hottest girls, go to the best parties, and have the best friends. If you’re reading this, then you’re probably not in that crowd yet. That’s why I wrote this guide.
You may want to be a part of an established circle (say, the popular crowd), but you can’t just walk up and join. There are ways to get into it, but it’s easier just to merge your circle with theirs. But right now you don’t have one so ...
Step 1) Building your social circle
You start building a social circle the same way you game anyone else. Just approach a set and #-close it. See? that wasn’t so bad.
Next, approach more sets and #-close them. Approach anyone you see. Anyone you can close will help.
Don’t forget about these sets! As you keep meeting new people, stay in touch with the older sets. Text everyone a couple times a week. Be friendly but not too flirty.
Alright! Once you’ve got 16-30 people, it’s time to make a social circle! Call/text all of them and invite them (and all their friends) to a party you’re throwing. A barbecue/pool party is a good choice, but anything where people can mingle and hang out works. You might even be able to do bowling or karaoke (depending on the venue).
At the party, you only have one role to play: matchmaker! Act like you are everyone’s best friend and introduce them to each other. The more introductions you make, the better.
CYC emphasizes a concept called a “bridge.” This is the most important part of SCG. You want to bridge different groups. Whenever you hang out with one circle, bring a few people from a different one. Always be expanding people’s horizons. This is all you’re doing at the party. Show them that you know a lot of different people. Show them that you aren’t greedy about it by introducing them to each other.
Don’t just say, “A, this is B. B, this is A.” Show that you know these people! “A, you and B are both rock guitarists! You may have even played against each other in a battle of the bands. B, how is your guys’ album going?”
Every time you make an introduction you social proof yourself to both of those people and to anyone who sees you.
After the party, text everyone and tell them what a great time you had and that you hope to do it again.
Congratulations! You now have a social circle.
Tips:
Game mixed sets. All-guy parties are bad, but taco-fests aren’t much better.
Stay in contact. If you haven’t talked to someone in weeks, they won’t come to your party.
Meet regularly. It doesn’t matter if that was the greatest party of all time, you need to keep meeting or you aren’t a social circle. Go out, do things as a group, have fun.
Now you have a nice group and you met some people at your party. Now it’s time to ...
Step 2) Expand your circle
This is easy. Keep approaching sets and keep throwing parties. Every time you get a chance to meet someone, take it. You want to be the guy that everyone thinks of as having infinity friends.
There’s really no limit to how big your circle can grow. You don’t have to be buddy-buddy with all of them, but stay in touch and have fun.
Don’t underestimate the friends-of-friends factor. If a member of your group introduces you to someone, they want to impress you. That means this guy is probably going to be pretty cool. Welcome him with open arms.
Okay. Now you have a nice, big social circle, but you still haven’t gotten any action. Here comes the easy part ...
Step 3) Game within your circle
If your circle is large enough, there will be little mini-circles within it. Be the center of all of them.
Being the bridge gives you all the DHV and social roof you need. You can take any girl from your circle, do a little bit of comfort with her, and ask her out without fear.
Warning:
If you date or hook up with a member of a mini-circle, the (female) leader of that circle will be off-limits to you. You’re basically saying that you are of equal value to her (lower-valued) friend. People from other mini-circles won’t care, so don’t worry too much about the value of the girl.
Remember back when you wanted to be a part of the popular circle? It’s been a few months and you’ve built an impressive social circle, but now it’s time to ...
Step 4) Merge groups!
There are two ways to merge your group. Either join theirs or bring them into yours. Which you do depends on the group. Usually one will be easier than the other.
Remember how being a bridge helped social proof you when building your circle? This is the same thing.
If you get invited to one of their parties, select a few of the coolest people you know (from your huge social circle) and bring them with you. If they hit it off with the cool kids, you’re in. Now you can just treat them like another mini-circle.
If you can’t join theirs, bring them to yours. Invite all the cool kids to one of your parties. If any of them show, you’ll social proof them with all your friends and they’ll want to join your group. Treat them like another mini-circle.
You won’t get included immediately, but if you keep showing them a good time, they’ll start to include you more and more.
Tips:
If you’ve made it this far, you don’t need my help.
The hardest part about merging into this group is getting an invite to their party or getting them to show at yours. Because most of your work has been outside of school, they probably still think of you as having lower value. Be patient. If you can’t, you could always crash their party with two dozen of the hottest girls you can find. I’ve never tried it, but I don’t know how it could fail.
One important note:
As you develop your life outside of school you will probably realize that the “cool” kids aren’t really all they’re cracked up to be. You’ll find your own friends and have fun with your own group. Making that realization is a big step. You can act cool and tell stories, but nothing will ever DHV you as much as knowing your better than those kids.
