Post by kerkman on Mar 29, 2009 21:15:50 GMT -5
Earlier today I was in the car listening to music while coming home from the grocery store, and I noticed something... all of the songs that came on the radio station were songs 1. about relationships 2. filled with hatred/animosity/pain and 3. all at one point were top twenty songs...
What happened to Accentuating the Positive?
Anybody know the five stages of grief? I'm pretty sure we learn them in eighth grade health.
for those who don't know them here is a link - www.memorialhospital.org/library/general/stress-THE-3.html
This is a process people go through in times of pain, it's as natural as breathing, what is not natural is staying in this state for too long.
For the sake of example, my girlfriend broke up with me on Thursday. It is one thing for me to be angry, sad, and in a state of "grief" for a week or so. But someone I know, when his girlfriend broke up with him, he put his whole life on hold for three months.
Why did I bring up the radio? The media FUELS this unnatural period of grief, prolonging it for many. I remember the last time I went over this kids house, we sat in his basement, and listened to music, all of it was dark with the feeling of pain and scorn in every line. I still talk to this kid but, we are not close anymore because he shut everybody out so he could hold on to his emotions.
Now Kerkman you must be joking, how could anyone get bent out of shape over a girl? We Pick Up Artists have a girl for each day of the week (sometimes more than one
). We come from an abundance mindset, we have our Hypnotica and our Tony Robbins, we just plain fucking rock Hardcore!!!
yes, you have that now, you can have your solid frame, and unfathomably high confidence level, and you can have your solid identity, but it's easy to regress.
Last night I was reading something on another board about "victim mentality" ~ www.theattractionforums.com/best-forum/66308-victim-mentality-how-rewrite-our-stories-change-our-roles.html
Basically it is all about controlling your state and looking at your lives story from a different point of view and changing your role in the story, to be more empowering.
Most people say woe is me, We should be the people say no! Not so, let's look at this situation from a different angle. Let's strive to understand the reason for these feelings of pain, animosity, anger, and sadness. And when we understand them let's not allow them to have any control over us, because they are false half truths of a story. Our past does not define us, our choices of how we choose to react define who we are as people.
The reason people choose this victim mentality is because they are lazy. Laziness, the cornerstone of our generation. And the sad part is we FUCKING FUEL THE FIRE, we say you're right woe is you!!! You have every right to be sad, angry, mad, grieving. You're girlfriend broke up with you.
Five steps... handling pain can be handled in five steps harmless easy steps. but most people get stuck and detoured from their path at each step.
1. Denial ~ "No way I won't accept this is happening" mentality ever hear bad news and the breathe, and it feels like you can't get enough air, You're head feels light and you get a feeling of dizziness? That's how I mark the beginning of denial... and depression. This step Is by far the easiest overcome. And few people have problems with it. So I won't focus any time here.
2. Anger ~ "what the hell was all this for" mentality
This is a tricky one, a song that reminds me of this is "Gives you hell" A big sticking point in overcoming emotions. Best thing to do is this stage: reframe don't say something foolish. Simmer down. Collect your thoughts, try not to think about why it happened the way it did just yet.
3. Bargaining ~ "what can I do to get her back" mentality
My best friend that's a girl told me Thursday. Shut up you can't get her back, she made her decision and just trying to change will bring more pain for both of you... I rolled my eyes at her for this one. Some people don't want to lose the person so much that they will try to "fix" their problems... Sometimes it's fixable, I'm not here to say what is and isn't, but MOST of the time it is a Flaw that does not mesh with them. Don't waste your time trying to change perfection
4. Depression ~ "woe is me" mentality
My idea of getting over it is sarging... Don't do what I do, just get your head off the topic, You are the king of your own world not the court jester of everyone elses. Smiling is the quickest way to be happy. Studies have shown when you smile you release chemicals that make you happy. (sounds to me like we anchor happiness to smiling, no?) so smile, Don't skip a beat in life, at work, or in general. Sonny and Cher got the picture... the beat goes on
5. Acceptance ~ "I know it wasn't my fault I may not be happy but I know sometime soon I will be" mentality
The finish line is in sight you can see the light at the end of the short tunnel, it was a small detour, but you know it will put you ahead in life with more insight than you could imagine.
Humans are naturally social, so sometimes the greatest way to handle grief is to talk to someone, but don't let them keep you down, push, persevere to get back to where you started.
Also, if someone is depressed and needs to talk, listen and help.
You've got to accentuate the positive,
Eliminate the negative,
Latch on to the affirmitive,
And don't mess with mister in between.
Kerkman
What happened to Accentuating the Positive?
Anybody know the five stages of grief? I'm pretty sure we learn them in eighth grade health.
for those who don't know them here is a link - www.memorialhospital.org/library/general/stress-THE-3.html
This is a process people go through in times of pain, it's as natural as breathing, what is not natural is staying in this state for too long.
For the sake of example, my girlfriend broke up with me on Thursday. It is one thing for me to be angry, sad, and in a state of "grief" for a week or so. But someone I know, when his girlfriend broke up with him, he put his whole life on hold for three months.
Why did I bring up the radio? The media FUELS this unnatural period of grief, prolonging it for many. I remember the last time I went over this kids house, we sat in his basement, and listened to music, all of it was dark with the feeling of pain and scorn in every line. I still talk to this kid but, we are not close anymore because he shut everybody out so he could hold on to his emotions.
Now Kerkman you must be joking, how could anyone get bent out of shape over a girl? We Pick Up Artists have a girl for each day of the week (sometimes more than one
). We come from an abundance mindset, we have our Hypnotica and our Tony Robbins, we just plain fucking rock Hardcore!!!yes, you have that now, you can have your solid frame, and unfathomably high confidence level, and you can have your solid identity, but it's easy to regress.
Last night I was reading something on another board about "victim mentality" ~ www.theattractionforums.com/best-forum/66308-victim-mentality-how-rewrite-our-stories-change-our-roles.html
Basically it is all about controlling your state and looking at your lives story from a different point of view and changing your role in the story, to be more empowering.
Most people say woe is me, We should be the people say no! Not so, let's look at this situation from a different angle. Let's strive to understand the reason for these feelings of pain, animosity, anger, and sadness. And when we understand them let's not allow them to have any control over us, because they are false half truths of a story. Our past does not define us, our choices of how we choose to react define who we are as people.
The reason people choose this victim mentality is because they are lazy. Laziness, the cornerstone of our generation. And the sad part is we FUCKING FUEL THE FIRE, we say you're right woe is you!!! You have every right to be sad, angry, mad, grieving. You're girlfriend broke up with you.
Five steps... handling pain can be handled in five steps harmless easy steps. but most people get stuck and detoured from their path at each step.
1. Denial ~ "No way I won't accept this is happening" mentality ever hear bad news and the breathe, and it feels like you can't get enough air, You're head feels light and you get a feeling of dizziness? That's how I mark the beginning of denial... and depression. This step Is by far the easiest overcome. And few people have problems with it. So I won't focus any time here.
2. Anger ~ "what the hell was all this for" mentality
This is a tricky one, a song that reminds me of this is "Gives you hell" A big sticking point in overcoming emotions. Best thing to do is this stage: reframe don't say something foolish. Simmer down. Collect your thoughts, try not to think about why it happened the way it did just yet.
3. Bargaining ~ "what can I do to get her back" mentality
My best friend that's a girl told me Thursday. Shut up you can't get her back, she made her decision and just trying to change will bring more pain for both of you... I rolled my eyes at her for this one. Some people don't want to lose the person so much that they will try to "fix" their problems... Sometimes it's fixable, I'm not here to say what is and isn't, but MOST of the time it is a Flaw that does not mesh with them. Don't waste your time trying to change perfection
4. Depression ~ "woe is me" mentality
My idea of getting over it is sarging... Don't do what I do, just get your head off the topic, You are the king of your own world not the court jester of everyone elses. Smiling is the quickest way to be happy. Studies have shown when you smile you release chemicals that make you happy. (sounds to me like we anchor happiness to smiling, no?) so smile, Don't skip a beat in life, at work, or in general. Sonny and Cher got the picture... the beat goes on
5. Acceptance ~ "I know it wasn't my fault I may not be happy but I know sometime soon I will be" mentality
The finish line is in sight you can see the light at the end of the short tunnel, it was a small detour, but you know it will put you ahead in life with more insight than you could imagine.
Humans are naturally social, so sometimes the greatest way to handle grief is to talk to someone, but don't let them keep you down, push, persevere to get back to where you started.
Also, if someone is depressed and needs to talk, listen and help.
You've got to accentuate the positive,
Eliminate the negative,
Latch on to the affirmitive,
And don't mess with mister in between.
Kerkman
