"You're such an asshole."

[Keysersoze]

okay, and is this coming from guys or girls? what are you standing up against in the first place before you get called an asshole? are you negging too much cos that was my problem? do you think you may be too cocky and not funny enough? don't get me wrong I got this loads too but I figured I was acting "confident" (arrogant) and negging too much when i didn't understand why it worked and since I fixed that I'm doing alot better...

I'm seriously trying to understand so I can maybe help some of you avoid this situation in the first place... the contingencies you guys are using are all pretty good but wouldn't it be better if you didn't have to use them...?

[hotdemon]

Dude its good you mentioned it.I need help.When i first learned c&f,i became obssesed and used it all the time.i seemed to be attracting a lot of girls but then at certain point they all though that i was just being an asshole.I DRASTICALLY reduced my c&f due to this and now i regret because i don't do it like before because i am scared to be called an asshole again but i use to enjoy it so much.Its a sticking poing and i would really appreciate your help on this subject.

[Keysersoze]

first of all you have to understand there is a time and a place for C&F, attraction. as you said, it was attracting alot of girls because your showing your confident and fun to be around, who doesn't want a guy like that!!! but once you reached that point where you gained her attraction you didn't move on to qualify her (you can still use C&F here until she dose win you over) and this is the point where you hook into comfort, you need to show a serious side, your passions, just having a general conversation, maybe even some vunerablilty... by acting C&F constantly your not showing her the real you, we alll deep down have fears and passions, sharing these is what she wants, it makes her feel close to you...

have you ever been around that guy who just constantly jokes about, he's never serious, he's never just relaxed, and your put into a situation where you to have to spend too long with him...? you begin to resent him because he can't just chill and you suspectit's an act... well, that's the reason C&F makes you come across as an asshole, girls are pretty intuitive, even if they are young and naiive. if your that guy who is only C&F you have no depth, you have no mystery and you lose that attraction to her...

the last time you used C&F you say you used to enjoy it so much, so just think if you can apply this and incorporate more C&F into your game you can be gaining that same attraction you had before and you'll be enjoing yourself alot more too which is the reason we're all here right? to meet new people (maybe just girls) who are fun and interesting to be around, what's the point if your not enjoying your time with them? so jsut go out there and enjoy yourself mate, and if C?&F is what makes you enjoy yourself do that!!!

just remember there is a time and a place... so calibrate it and make sure you know when maybe you need to show another part of yourself... oh and if your negging make sure you REALLY understand what a neg is, it's not an insult it's a backhanded compliment...

and dude, if you have anymore questions or need some help message me... I hope this helps you, mate...

[hotdemon]

Dude you have really analysed my problem and have also found the solution.Its true i'm too much on the attraction side.I can easily attract any girl but then when it comes to qualifying and comfort i am reluctant.Now i regret for all the times that i spend only attracting girls and never actually qualifying.OMG this is a wake up call that i have to work harder on the other zones besides attraction.
Excellent advice Bro.1+

i have also one problem.When i am being shit tested.Most of time i am not witty enough to come out with a fast answer,then i become nervous.whats your way of dealing with shit test with examples and all.

respect

[Keysersoze]

depends on the shit test, most of the time I just show disinterest... but just keep some one liners handy -

[light tone]
that's how I roll
that's what she said
I have that effect on women
I lost a bet
you wish
awww I know you love me really
damn, how do you put up with this chick?

[tired tone]
excuse me, ruude... is she always such a brat
baby please, that's waay below you
wow feisty, how's that working out for ya?
... so anyway...

[Mandrake]

The cocky funny responses won't work unless you are a cocky funny person. By that I mean, that you can't just pull it out of no where if it's not congruent with your personality and your frame in the interaction. (Translation: Figure out inner game, create a personality that fits with C & F) Also, always stay more on the funny side of cocky funny. Had to learn that the hard way

There at least two kinds of subcomm when a girl says that:
1. You really are an asshole. You're negging way too much. This happened to me when I started out with MM.
2. Shit test. She likes you, but she wants to see if you'll be her circus monkey and jump through her hoops first

I liked most of Keyser's one liners, but know now that it'll take a while of testing them out and calibrating it all before you can actually pull it off in a way that works. There are a lot of situations when saying something like that will just make things worse, especially if you use the wrong tonality and body language. The only way to get it down is to use this stuff as guidelines and calibrate until you see the matrix yourself

Party on

[peterjohnson622]

Grape has a point... sometimes you have to calibrate what you say or you come off as an asshole... it's one thing to not give a shit but it's another being plain rude...

[bballphenom]

Today, this guy said happy birthday to this HB and I said its your birthday? And she said no, he just said that just because (sarcastically) and then I said I was going to say happy birthday but your being a bitch and totally defused her. Then she begged me to say it over and over but I didn't give in.