Post by OHM on Jun 6, 2009 14:46:51 GMT -5
I wrote this as a guide that can be both informative, and fun to read. I tried to make it as "exciting" as possible.
An Investigative Report on the Most Common Methods of Detecting and Disarming AMOGs:
There are essentially two different ways to be the alpha male and to out AMOG anyone else who is trying to AMOG you.
They are:
1. Physical
2. Verbal
Physical:
Considering we are mostly focused in places where there are a high concentration of people, i.e. school and various other public places, physical AMOGing can be difficult.
The best way not to have to worry about an AMOG anymore is to simply kill him
, but that is neither encouraged or even deemed sensible by most experts. 
The most acceptable way to deal with an AMOG in a physical manner would be a combination of both physical and verbal means. Such an example would be a pat on the shoulder while saying something unexpected and pertaining to a generally “nice” qualification of statement.
Originally developed as a method of eye training for NASA, strong eye contact can help reduce the AMOG psyche in a challenging AMOG-contest. Along with German scientists, the idea of “speaking through your eyes” has become a high-sought skill among newly hired CEO’s and doctors.
Now, we will focus on the “verbalities” of AMOGing.
Verbal:
Perhaps the greatest tool a pick up artist should possess in his arsenal of sorts would be his way with words. The spoken word can and will be your most efficient means of disarming AMOGs, the proverbial time bomb.
During my investigative journalism, I have found that many aspiring pick up artists are forced to deal with a usually unavoidable and unpleasant, “gay factor”.
Sloppily dressed and increasingly unkempt jocks have banned together with the Treaty of Verdun, which outlined the “gay factor”.
But you ask, "OhMega, what is the gay factor?!?!
"
Well hold your horses young one. Let me explain:
The basic terms of the treaty were that, “All supremely athletic individuals shall call all non-supremely athletic individuals, as well as people who take attention away from other supremely athletic individuals the following terms, ‘gay, homo, queer, fag’, and the most politically correct term, ‘homosexual’ as deemed necessary by the participating supremely athletic parties” (page 3, section 4 – Treaty of Verdun).
In order to deal with the “gay factor” (i.e. an AMOG says, “You’re gay!”) you can say things such as:
“Yes. I am gay.”
“Yes I am gay, does that bother you?”
“I’m glad you accept me for my sexuality.”
“That’s what you are, but what am I?” (Yields the most comical results).
“Ok.” (Followed by a *wink* which looks like this:
, or just stare blankly like a robot and walk away).
“I am not the droid you are looking for.”
Other times:
There will be other times where you will be forced to deal with AMOGS, when physical means are either unnecessary or ill advised (such as in places of worship, courtrooms, or places filled with supremely athletic individuals). They are as follows:
Pat on the back followed with, “The people who are hardest to love are the ones who need it the most”. Make sure you smile, and be genuine. This has been found to stun many AMOGs.
“DUDE! YOU ARE AWESOME! HIGH-FIVE!!!111one” Do the high five motion regardless of whether or not he does (including follow through of high-five motion), be sure to smile and walk away afterwards. Or for added brutality, immediately become serious, and portray a look of disgust, followed with an aptly timed, “Loser…” as you slowly walk away. (Have purpose, strength and meaning in your steps, your tai chi shall flow through you and into the ground, inner peace shall remain).
Experiment with other acts of obnoxiousness, sincerity, or ranging emotions. Compounding different patterns can be a fun and exciting way to learn!
And remember! Everybody poops, so don’t be afraid!
pc n' love
OhMega
Edit: I am also aware that not all supremely athletic individuals are AMOGs, but for simplicty's sake, and not to take away from the "fluidity" of my investigative report, I opted not to add, "most" before "supremely athletic individuals".
An Investigative Report on the Most Common Methods of Detecting and Disarming AMOGs:
There are essentially two different ways to be the alpha male and to out AMOG anyone else who is trying to AMOG you.
They are:
1. Physical
2. Verbal
Physical:
Considering we are mostly focused in places where there are a high concentration of people, i.e. school and various other public places, physical AMOGing can be difficult.
The best way not to have to worry about an AMOG anymore is to simply kill him
, but that is neither encouraged or even deemed sensible by most experts. 
The most acceptable way to deal with an AMOG in a physical manner would be a combination of both physical and verbal means. Such an example would be a pat on the shoulder while saying something unexpected and pertaining to a generally “nice” qualification of statement.
Originally developed as a method of eye training for NASA, strong eye contact can help reduce the AMOG psyche in a challenging AMOG-contest. Along with German scientists, the idea of “speaking through your eyes” has become a high-sought skill among newly hired CEO’s and doctors.
Now, we will focus on the “verbalities” of AMOGing.
Verbal:
Perhaps the greatest tool a pick up artist should possess in his arsenal of sorts would be his way with words. The spoken word can and will be your most efficient means of disarming AMOGs, the proverbial time bomb.
During my investigative journalism, I have found that many aspiring pick up artists are forced to deal with a usually unavoidable and unpleasant, “gay factor”.
Sloppily dressed and increasingly unkempt jocks have banned together with the Treaty of Verdun, which outlined the “gay factor”.
But you ask, "OhMega, what is the gay factor?!?!
" Well hold your horses young one. Let me explain:
The basic terms of the treaty were that, “All supremely athletic individuals shall call all non-supremely athletic individuals, as well as people who take attention away from other supremely athletic individuals the following terms, ‘gay, homo, queer, fag’, and the most politically correct term, ‘homosexual’ as deemed necessary by the participating supremely athletic parties” (page 3, section 4 – Treaty of Verdun).
In order to deal with the “gay factor” (i.e. an AMOG says, “You’re gay!”) you can say things such as:
“Yes. I am gay.”
“Yes I am gay, does that bother you?”
“I’m glad you accept me for my sexuality.”
“That’s what you are, but what am I?” (Yields the most comical results).
“Ok.” (Followed by a *wink* which looks like this:
, or just stare blankly like a robot and walk away).“I am not the droid you are looking for.”
Other times:
There will be other times where you will be forced to deal with AMOGS, when physical means are either unnecessary or ill advised (such as in places of worship, courtrooms, or places filled with supremely athletic individuals). They are as follows:
Pat on the back followed with, “The people who are hardest to love are the ones who need it the most”. Make sure you smile, and be genuine. This has been found to stun many AMOGs.
“DUDE! YOU ARE AWESOME! HIGH-FIVE!!!111one” Do the high five motion regardless of whether or not he does (including follow through of high-five motion), be sure to smile and walk away afterwards. Or for added brutality, immediately become serious, and portray a look of disgust, followed with an aptly timed, “Loser…” as you slowly walk away. (Have purpose, strength and meaning in your steps, your tai chi shall flow through you and into the ground, inner peace shall remain).
Experiment with other acts of obnoxiousness, sincerity, or ranging emotions. Compounding different patterns can be a fun and exciting way to learn!
And remember! Everybody poops, so don’t be afraid!
pc n' love
OhMega
Edit: I am also aware that not all supremely athletic individuals are AMOGs, but for simplicty's sake, and not to take away from the "fluidity" of my investigative report, I opted not to add, "most" before "supremely athletic individuals".
