Post by Grape on Jun 27, 2009 8:37:44 GMT -5
A big part about growing up mentally and just becoming more mature is being able to be rational. Rationality is what keeps people sane along with helping them protect their self-esteems. For example, a guy may play basketball one day and not be able to make a single basket. If he is rational, he will be able to tell himself, "It's okay. Although I'm frustrated I haven't made a SINGLE basket, I've just been very tired today due to a lack of sleep. I'll just sleep early today and try again tomorrow."
This is what keeps him determined instead of having him give into his emotions. His mind dominated his emotions. This is what makes him mature.
So how exactly does one become rational? Three great tools have helped me become a more rational person: Look at the facts, not the emotions. Ask yourself questions in order to look at the situation clearly. Don't be so emotionally serious.
Looking at the facts have been extremely helpful for me. Let's say I'm having a bad day because I feel like no one likes me. Well, I just think back to the events that occurred rather than what I felt at the moment. All that really happened was that I was being quiet in front of my friends and they chose to talk to other people because they didn't want to get sucked in by my dead vibe. If I had only put a smile on and started some convo with them, I would not have felt so anti-social. I also learned that the more time one spends not socializing, the harder it will become for one to go back to socializing.
If I had looked at this from a completely emotional standpoint, I would have only felt that I felt very tired. And my friends ignored me. I became sad. And yet no one cared for me. This made me miserable. Bad emotions are useless.
So looking at the facts have not only made me realize I didn't really need to feel sad, but also taught me a lesson of socializing. How useful.
Another thing I do when I feel bad or stressed is ask myself questions. Let's say I feel very stressed out. A dialogue in my head:
"Why do I feel stressed?"
"Because I'm late for school."
"Why is that bad?"
"My parents will find out."
"So?"
"They'll ground me."
"So just because they ground me means I have to be a big baby about it?"
"uhh..."
"Who cares. What happens happens. Make the best of it."
"How?"
"Read a book, draw a picture, or just have fun doing what you love."
"But I like to text friends and use my laptop."
"So that's all there is to pleasing my life?"
"Well.. I've always had a passion for.."
"THEN DO IT. NO ONE'S STOPPING ME."
There's always a positive side to things. One can find out what that positive side is by doing things like asking oneself questions.
Lastly, one must learn not to overreact. One must realize that an event is probably NOT as big of a deal as it seems and then MOST events are very insignificant to life. Suppose you fart in class and people hear it. You may feel embarrassed for about five seconds, and then you'll either be done with it or make too big of a deal about it. Is it really that big of a deal? Will it make you lose your friends? Will it give you cancer? No. It's not important in the big picture of your life. So if you're one of the people who like to exaggerate situations, start becoming aware of the fact that not many things in life are very important.
<33 Grape
This is what keeps him determined instead of having him give into his emotions. His mind dominated his emotions. This is what makes him mature.
So how exactly does one become rational? Three great tools have helped me become a more rational person: Look at the facts, not the emotions. Ask yourself questions in order to look at the situation clearly. Don't be so emotionally serious.
Looking at the facts have been extremely helpful for me. Let's say I'm having a bad day because I feel like no one likes me. Well, I just think back to the events that occurred rather than what I felt at the moment. All that really happened was that I was being quiet in front of my friends and they chose to talk to other people because they didn't want to get sucked in by my dead vibe. If I had only put a smile on and started some convo with them, I would not have felt so anti-social. I also learned that the more time one spends not socializing, the harder it will become for one to go back to socializing.
If I had looked at this from a completely emotional standpoint, I would have only felt that I felt very tired. And my friends ignored me. I became sad. And yet no one cared for me. This made me miserable. Bad emotions are useless.
So looking at the facts have not only made me realize I didn't really need to feel sad, but also taught me a lesson of socializing. How useful.
Another thing I do when I feel bad or stressed is ask myself questions. Let's say I feel very stressed out. A dialogue in my head:
"Why do I feel stressed?"
"Because I'm late for school."
"Why is that bad?"
"My parents will find out."
"So?"
"They'll ground me."
"So just because they ground me means I have to be a big baby about it?"
"uhh..."
"Who cares. What happens happens. Make the best of it."
"How?"
"Read a book, draw a picture, or just have fun doing what you love."
"But I like to text friends and use my laptop."
"So that's all there is to pleasing my life?"
"Well.. I've always had a passion for.."
"THEN DO IT. NO ONE'S STOPPING ME."
There's always a positive side to things. One can find out what that positive side is by doing things like asking oneself questions.
Lastly, one must learn not to overreact. One must realize that an event is probably NOT as big of a deal as it seems and then MOST events are very insignificant to life. Suppose you fart in class and people hear it. You may feel embarrassed for about five seconds, and then you'll either be done with it or make too big of a deal about it. Is it really that big of a deal? Will it make you lose your friends? Will it give you cancer? No. It's not important in the big picture of your life. So if you're one of the people who like to exaggerate situations, start becoming aware of the fact that not many things in life are very important.
<33 Grape
