Post by Grape on Jun 27, 2009 21:37:39 GMT -5
Vibing: Grape
Concept:
A nerd with messy hair, glasses, baggy jeans, and tennis shoes goes into a set, slouches down, looks at the floor, his voice trembles and his words are stuttered, "H-h-hi.. you-you're veryy.. uh... pretty. Would you like to h-hang out with me sometime? Only if you want. I'll respect your decision." and leaves like he pissed his pants.
Horrible.
30 seconds later a stud with a sense of fashion goes into the same set, comes up with an energetic smile, voice steady and dominating, looks right into their eyes, and says "Hey guys!"
Everyone responds, "Hey!" back, you see the PUA touching everyone, dominating the set, and getting very excited responses.
93% of an interaction is communicated through non-linguistical factors of socializing. That means that only 7% of an interaction depends on the words you say.
There are many other factors you may have observed in the description of the nerd and the stud. What did you notice the stud did differently from the nerd?
His body posture reeked of comfort and confidence, he didn't stare at the floor, he looked everyone in the eye. His voice was fun and full of energy, he touched people with good reactions. There are many other factors that contribute to a successful interaction than just words. And all of these factors can be changed, it's just a matter of how much one tries.
Applying the Concept:
The PUA understands how people work. He knows that fashion matters and it shows a sense of social awareness. It shows he's part of the flow and that he hangs out with the 'popular kids'. The word popular is made fun of by them, cool is the new word.
The PUA understands that society is based off of being Cool. For guys, cool is about being a part of something important, being a leader, being a man, being someone responsible, being mature, being confident, being the center of attention.
Just today, I walked by a gorgeous girl at Walmart. We passed each other a few times, every time I observed her to see that she would give me a glance and then flip her hair. I didn't even have to go up to her yet and I'd already made her put some sort of effort into impressing me.
What was I doing? I was talking on the phone with my friend about a party that went bad. I was being loud, I was showing personality and basically showing that I was Cool.
There are six things one can do the show that he is Cool without actually having to be rich, having the newest iPod, being the QB of the football team, etc.
The Smile
As I walked up to the girl at Walmart, I put a big smile on my face and opened my mouth to say one simple word, "Hey you." She automatically smiled back with a "Hey." The smile needs to show energy and confidence. It needs to show that you're a fun dude. Fun is the key to getting a girl. So next time you approach some people, put a big smile on!
After reading Body Language for Dummies, the best smile to use when approaching in a social environment is the one when you show your teeth, but you're not quite laughing. Like you're telling a fun story, you haven't gotten to the joke yet, but the story is making you smile. That's it.
Eye Contact
This is important. If you don't stare at the chick you're talking to, wouldn't it feel awkward for her? Yup. The thing about opening is that you want to make her feel like she's someone you've talked to before. Like a good friend you haven't talked to in a few years. Make eye contact when you talk to people. Don't stare, there are times when everyone looks at a corner to think, remember, or imagine something. People make eye contact 30% of the time when they talk. Make eye contact more and more as you get to know her more, but start off with at least 30%.
Also, if you want to do some direct game, check her out while she's looking at you during convo. Glance at her tits, her lips, her face, etc. 80% eyes, 20% other.
Body Language
Posture is essential in LIFE. If you're slouching, stop it right now. Sit up straight, take a deep breath to fill up your chest, and stop leaning in. I have a cousin who plays video games a little too much and he looks like a turtle with no neck and a bent back because he leans in so much. No offense to him, but a perfect example of what not to do.
Look at the movie stars, the public speakers, or adults in general. They stand up straight, they can make a strong impact when they speak just by standing in a comfortable yet confident stance.
Now, don't come on too strong by directly facing your target. Give them some space, turn your body at a 10/2 o clock angle and talk with your head turned over to him/her.
Vocal Tonality
Voice shows a lot about a person. It shows their confidence. If you heard a person talking in a light, soft, trembling voice, would you ever think he's a part of something important? Like he could actually save a life? Like he could do something cool? Nope.
Gradually change your voice if it's not already vibrant and loud. The point is not to yell but being able to be loud while using an indoor voice. You can do this by slightly flexing your chest while you talk and pushing a lot of air out of your throat. Stop talking out of your nose and talk with your throat. It's key.
Kinaesthetics
If you don't know what the word itself means, it means the sense of touch. If you don't feel comfortable touching people, how will you ever kiss them? Love them?
Something you need to do when self-improving is pushing your comfort zones. Everyone has a comfort zone, it just depends how big or limited they are. As you become more successful and cool, you'll realize that people aren't mean, they just want to get rid of the boring people and just have lots and lots of fun. Realizing this will raise your comfort level and you should be more comfortable touching others.
Touch touch touch. Don't start off putting your arms around girls unless you're making a cocky/funny approach. Start off patting them on their backs, putting your hands on their shoulders, giving high fives, doing silly handshakes.
PUAs do something called kino escalation. It's when you gradually escalate the amount of kino you do with a target.
Fashion
Having a good sense of fashion is probably THE EASIEST WAY to hook. It's just clothing and hygiene. Just wash your face 3-5 times a day, keep clean, get a nice hairstyle/cut, and wear some clothes that STICK OUT. If you go to a high school at all, you know what I mean. Don't be a clown, but wear the cool ones. Don't wear such baggy clothing unless it's a part of your style and don't wear jeans that show your ankles. It's funny looking and shows you don't have a sense of self-awareness. Not Cool.
Misconceptions:
Confident vs Egotistic
A lot of people get very confused with what being confident is all about when they first get started.
Confidence is merely how comfortable you are with your surroundings.
It's not about showing "you're better than others", because you really aren't. We're no better than each other. Having an ego and being stuck up is NOT cool.
So when you approach, don't be an asshole. Be fun and energetic.
Bitches vs Bitch shields
There is an entire article on bitch shields later in this newsletter. But just know that not every girl is stuck up or bitchy. There ARE bitches, but not as much as you think.
For one thing, bitches don't have much friends.. because they're bitches. Make sense? Hopefully.
The so called bitches that you see who DO have lots of friends probably are NOT bitches, they just have things called bitch SHIELDS. They only have these shields towards people that will bore them, creep them out, or simply stop them from feeling good.
I hope you guys have enjoyed this post. It's basic information, but it's vital.
<33 Grape
Concept:
A nerd with messy hair, glasses, baggy jeans, and tennis shoes goes into a set, slouches down, looks at the floor, his voice trembles and his words are stuttered, "H-h-hi.. you-you're veryy.. uh... pretty. Would you like to h-hang out with me sometime? Only if you want. I'll respect your decision." and leaves like he pissed his pants.
Horrible.
30 seconds later a stud with a sense of fashion goes into the same set, comes up with an energetic smile, voice steady and dominating, looks right into their eyes, and says "Hey guys!"
Everyone responds, "Hey!" back, you see the PUA touching everyone, dominating the set, and getting very excited responses.
93% of an interaction is communicated through non-linguistical factors of socializing. That means that only 7% of an interaction depends on the words you say.
There are many other factors you may have observed in the description of the nerd and the stud. What did you notice the stud did differently from the nerd?
His body posture reeked of comfort and confidence, he didn't stare at the floor, he looked everyone in the eye. His voice was fun and full of energy, he touched people with good reactions. There are many other factors that contribute to a successful interaction than just words. And all of these factors can be changed, it's just a matter of how much one tries.
Applying the Concept:
The PUA understands how people work. He knows that fashion matters and it shows a sense of social awareness. It shows he's part of the flow and that he hangs out with the 'popular kids'. The word popular is made fun of by them, cool is the new word.
The PUA understands that society is based off of being Cool. For guys, cool is about being a part of something important, being a leader, being a man, being someone responsible, being mature, being confident, being the center of attention.
Just today, I walked by a gorgeous girl at Walmart. We passed each other a few times, every time I observed her to see that she would give me a glance and then flip her hair. I didn't even have to go up to her yet and I'd already made her put some sort of effort into impressing me.
What was I doing? I was talking on the phone with my friend about a party that went bad. I was being loud, I was showing personality and basically showing that I was Cool.
There are six things one can do the show that he is Cool without actually having to be rich, having the newest iPod, being the QB of the football team, etc.
The Smile
As I walked up to the girl at Walmart, I put a big smile on my face and opened my mouth to say one simple word, "Hey you." She automatically smiled back with a "Hey." The smile needs to show energy and confidence. It needs to show that you're a fun dude. Fun is the key to getting a girl. So next time you approach some people, put a big smile on!
After reading Body Language for Dummies, the best smile to use when approaching in a social environment is the one when you show your teeth, but you're not quite laughing. Like you're telling a fun story, you haven't gotten to the joke yet, but the story is making you smile. That's it.
Eye Contact
This is important. If you don't stare at the chick you're talking to, wouldn't it feel awkward for her? Yup. The thing about opening is that you want to make her feel like she's someone you've talked to before. Like a good friend you haven't talked to in a few years. Make eye contact when you talk to people. Don't stare, there are times when everyone looks at a corner to think, remember, or imagine something. People make eye contact 30% of the time when they talk. Make eye contact more and more as you get to know her more, but start off with at least 30%.
Also, if you want to do some direct game, check her out while she's looking at you during convo. Glance at her tits, her lips, her face, etc. 80% eyes, 20% other.
Body Language
Posture is essential in LIFE. If you're slouching, stop it right now. Sit up straight, take a deep breath to fill up your chest, and stop leaning in. I have a cousin who plays video games a little too much and he looks like a turtle with no neck and a bent back because he leans in so much. No offense to him, but a perfect example of what not to do.
Look at the movie stars, the public speakers, or adults in general. They stand up straight, they can make a strong impact when they speak just by standing in a comfortable yet confident stance.
Now, don't come on too strong by directly facing your target. Give them some space, turn your body at a 10/2 o clock angle and talk with your head turned over to him/her.
Vocal Tonality
Voice shows a lot about a person. It shows their confidence. If you heard a person talking in a light, soft, trembling voice, would you ever think he's a part of something important? Like he could actually save a life? Like he could do something cool? Nope.
Gradually change your voice if it's not already vibrant and loud. The point is not to yell but being able to be loud while using an indoor voice. You can do this by slightly flexing your chest while you talk and pushing a lot of air out of your throat. Stop talking out of your nose and talk with your throat. It's key.
Kinaesthetics
If you don't know what the word itself means, it means the sense of touch. If you don't feel comfortable touching people, how will you ever kiss them? Love them?
Something you need to do when self-improving is pushing your comfort zones. Everyone has a comfort zone, it just depends how big or limited they are. As you become more successful and cool, you'll realize that people aren't mean, they just want to get rid of the boring people and just have lots and lots of fun. Realizing this will raise your comfort level and you should be more comfortable touching others.
Touch touch touch. Don't start off putting your arms around girls unless you're making a cocky/funny approach. Start off patting them on their backs, putting your hands on their shoulders, giving high fives, doing silly handshakes.
PUAs do something called kino escalation. It's when you gradually escalate the amount of kino you do with a target.
Fashion
Having a good sense of fashion is probably THE EASIEST WAY to hook. It's just clothing and hygiene. Just wash your face 3-5 times a day, keep clean, get a nice hairstyle/cut, and wear some clothes that STICK OUT. If you go to a high school at all, you know what I mean. Don't be a clown, but wear the cool ones. Don't wear such baggy clothing unless it's a part of your style and don't wear jeans that show your ankles. It's funny looking and shows you don't have a sense of self-awareness. Not Cool.
Misconceptions:
Confident vs Egotistic
A lot of people get very confused with what being confident is all about when they first get started.
Confidence is merely how comfortable you are with your surroundings.
It's not about showing "you're better than others", because you really aren't. We're no better than each other. Having an ego and being stuck up is NOT cool.
So when you approach, don't be an asshole. Be fun and energetic.
Bitches vs Bitch shields
There is an entire article on bitch shields later in this newsletter. But just know that not every girl is stuck up or bitchy. There ARE bitches, but not as much as you think.
For one thing, bitches don't have much friends.. because they're bitches. Make sense? Hopefully.
The so called bitches that you see who DO have lots of friends probably are NOT bitches, they just have things called bitch SHIELDS. They only have these shields towards people that will bore them, creep them out, or simply stop them from feeling good.
I hope you guys have enjoyed this post. It's basic information, but it's vital.
<33 Grape