Defining Popularity (EBOOK ARTICLE)

[darkpwns]

Defining Popularity

Caveat: This is some self empowering shit. You will read this and feel completely different about your life. You will become Chuck Norris.

I jest.


Real Caveat: For this to have any value to you whatsoever you must suspend your views on social situations and hierarchies.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Popularity only exists if everybody else believes it exists. You do not become popular by believing you are popular, sorry, no magic pill here. You can think you’re hot stuff all you want but if everybody else thinks you’re a dork then you’re a dork. When dealing with popularity, other people’s perceptions of you matter a great deal. This is why high school and college pick-up is vastly different from pick-up in a bar. In a bar your own perception of yourself molds other people’s perception of you. In high-school or college your own perception of yourself may help detail other people’s perception of you but it isn’t the determining factor.

Fortunately though, all that popularity is is how many people have positive feelings towards you. Social Proof. Popularity is NOT the clothes you wear (meaning don’t attempt to blend in with what the “popular” kids wear), the car you drive, how much money you have, the amount of sugars you put in your iced coffee in the morning. None of that matters, you can be popular as long as people like you. Then why are all those douches and bitches popular you ask? Remember that popularity is merely perception. You are thinking because these people fit the stereotype that social conditioning forced us to believe is “popular” that they are in fact, popular. If you base your perception of them not on your social conditioning but on what you see and hear about them you will know that they are simply just infamous.

To become popular you need to look at its definition and figure out a way to make people have positive feelings towards you. Now, this is actually really easy since people don’t want to hate other people, they genuinely want to like most people they meet. So all you have to do is meet and hold up a conversation for a few short minutes and do this day after day over time. Simply try to be friends with everybody, don't leave anyone out unless they are totally not with it at all. Try befriending at least one new person a day, by the end of the day you will have someone to give pounds and high fives to in the hallway. Multiply this by fifty and you will now have other people noticing you. When they see you being late to class on account of all the pounds, hugs and high fives you are giving to everyone chances are their perception of you will change. You now have become “known” and other people will get to know you as well. This is the essence of popularity. Being liked and known will pique people’s interest in you and get them to want to know and like you as well.

Let us review
- Popularity is a blend of perception. Group perception and self perception, group perception matters more than self perception.
- What other people need to perceive you as is just a likeable person. You do not have to conform to any norms to come off as likeable.
- Befriending people is the best way to become popular. To be popular you do not have to be part of an EXCLUSIVE club, include everyone in your reality.
- Do not conform. Don’t feel like you need to immerse yourself in the gossip to be popular, it won’t help.
- Do not conform. Don’t change your dress to fit in.
- DO NOT CONFORM.

[Grape]

Could you please add stuff about how just trying to be friends with everyone will help you naturally get social proof + MEE?? I feel like you gave it too much of a scientific-vibe rather than a cool-high schooler tone in terms of the style of writing.

<33

[RedDog]

the amount of sugars you put in your iced coffee in the morning

Personally, this makes the article. =O Good write Dark.

[darkpwns]

Jul 9, 2009 8:35:30 GMT -5 Grape said:

Could you please add stuff about how just trying to be friends with everyone will help you naturally get social proof + MEE?? I feel like you gave it too much of a scientific-vibe rather than a cool-high schooler tone in terms of the style of writing.

<33

Sorry I've been on a mere exposure effect kick for the past month and change. I wrote this on 0 hrs of sleep so my cool-guy vibe like...ran out. I'll edit it just for you though ^_^

[SenorBubbz]

Great article bro, I love it and this will definately help me out next year. +1!

[Alek]

Good, but at the same time with image, you dont want to go over the top. The lower on the social scale you are, the more you need to sort of blend in - as looking immensely different will only hurt you. The higher you go, the spiced up you can get, and not only would it be acceptable but it would be cool because YOU are wearing it. And you now have value.

Think of it as a group of gangstas, they are all wearing baggy t shirts, and baggy jeans. All looking alike. But if one of them was decked out in like a blue suit..it would throw shit off. But if the head gangsta, big cheese, was to wear a suit it is totally cool.

But, could you explain this. How come a lot of assholes are popular. Tons of people hate them, they are fucking assholes to people, but they still get invited to all the parties, hang with the popular group, get chicks. Why?

[darkpwns]

Jul 15, 2009 18:52:03 GMT -5 Alek said:

Good, but at the same time with image, you dont want to go over the top. The lower on the social scale you are, the more you need to sort of blend in - as looking immensely different will only hurt you. The higher you go, the spiced up you can get, and not only would it be acceptable but it would be cool because YOU are wearing it. And you now have value.

Think of it as a group of gangstas, they are all wearing baggy t shirts, and baggy jeans. All looking alike. But if one of them was decked out in like a blue suit..it would throw shit off. But if the head gangsta, big cheese, was to wear a suit it is totally cool.

But, could you explain this. How come a lot of assholes are popular. Tons of people hate them, they are fucking assholes to people, but they still get invited to all the parties, hang with the popular group, get chicks. Why?

My bad I was like not on the computer for a while, ok hell yeah an OG in a suit is the Super OG =D, really though I stand out while going for a high fashion look. This way I'm not peacocking in the usual way people peacock...I don't like peacocking with clothing I think shows you are socially inept just to stand out. I'd rather peacock in a way that makes you stand out because you just dress that much better than everybody else...so I guess I don't wear out-of-this-world clothing at all, dressing well is dressing well no matter where you are on the social ladder, in fact if you dress well and I mean not the "generic" way of dressing well like "American Eagle" this "Abercrombie" that higher status people will talk to YOU, I found that out like two days ago (elite people were like 'I LOVE your outfit' though sadly atm since I haven't got a job I haven't been able to put together amazing outfits much...I've got like one amazing outfit and six good ones). Find your own style, hell you can wear labels, it doesn't matter just don't expect the labels to make the look for you, you've gotta create an ensemble that looks good.

Oh and those "assholes" usually aren't the total douches you think them to be if you actually get to know them but the problem with them is they are WAY too into their "status" and if they don't see you as someone who can add to their "status" they will piss the shit out of you and then you and everybody else they pissed the shit out of will hate them. This is the case with most "assholes", with the other "assholes" other people perceive them as "cool" thus the invites and the girlfriends. They are perceived as cool because of the bullshit we call social conditioning. Social conditioning is a bitch, make her suck your dick...tell her not to use teeth. Seriously, all you have to do is show you are so much cooler than that guy without being an asshole which is not hard at all since they aren't actually cool and pretty shallow underneath it all. That dude will go into status deprivation (rarely) and hopefully turn into an emo...remember emos are socially acceptable to make fun of...if he turns emo make fun of him as much as possible.

Oh never make fun of a "cool" dude/girl if they're an asshole/bitch if they still maintain they're status, this is not socially acceptable and you will go nowhere but down by doing this, these assholes/bitches throw a lot of parties as well (usually) and by you making fun of them you void a potential invite. Also when making fun of people (even emos) don't be a dick about it, don't be mean say it very jokingly...its really easy to be mean so best not make fun of people at all if the person can't hear it to their face and laugh about.

Also, sometimes they just have a really cool friend and he/she was their "in" and the only reason why they're even kept around. In any case if someone's being a dick to you don't hang with them, there's no point in being around someone all the time if everybody else hates them, it'd make it harder to approach people lower on the social scale than you, say "what's up," pound them in the hall but by no means hang out with them after school unless they are offering you value. If they aren't offering value (booze, party, chicks) then they could just fuck off.