Post by Andrew on Nov 4, 2009 19:28:47 GMT -5
My mother, who I love very much, always tells me:
"Whatever you do, do it with dignity, grace, and style."
I have a pretty fucking cool mom haha
She would tell me this when I was deciding what do do about wanting to break up with my then-girlfriend, last weekend when my Halloween plans crumbled and I had to make a spot decision on what to do and where to do (my costume is under the costume ideas thread; huge success), or even as far back as the kindergarten school bully.
But how does this relate to the thread topic? It means you have to own your actions.
Owning Your Actions
In your road to becoming the man you want to become, you will obviously encounter situations where choices you make will be the choices you want, but you will offend or hurt others in the process. At this point you have a few options.
You can take back your choice, instead choosing to appease everyone around you. The person may feel better about your decision (whatever it may have been), but YOU’LL feel badly about it. After all, your choice was the one you wanted to make
Or, you could keep your choice, but apologize profusely. This is a little better, as you’re sticking to your guns, but personally, I still think you’re a pussy.
OR, you can own your actions. You can do whatever you do with dignity, grace, and style.
I always look at the world as a combination and accumulation of choices. Every single action that you take is a choice. Every time you decide to go on Facebook rather than finish that paper is a choice, every time you go ten pushups instead of whacking it is a choice, every time you DON’T go talk to that girl you are making a choice, even if you aren’t consciously making it.
Owning your actions means that you acknowledge that the choices you make are YOUR choices. It means acknowledging that decisions that you make personally affect you first.
Lets say you are with a hot girl, at least a 717 (read my post on area-coding ;D ), and you are talking about movies you like, and you really like Will Ferrell movies. However, after you say this, she says she thinks hes kind of obnoxious. You could either say that yeah, hes pretty obnoxious, but blades of glory was pretty funny, but you don’t really like his other movies. OR you could own your actions and tell her that you think hes fucking hilarious, and once you watch blades of glory with your own personal commentary she’s gonna think differently.
You may at this point, still be confused with that I mean when I say “own.” They ARE your opinions, actions, thoughts, and choices aren’t they? They are YOURS. They come from YOUR mind. You OWN them. So OWN them. Don’t let some biddie or AMOG tell you what to think or act.
It comes down to who has the strongest frame, and whose reality is stronger. When you tell the biddie that yeah, he’s obnoxious, and not that funny after all, you are succumbing to HER reality! Your whole perception of the world has just changed! Just like that! But when you hold true and own your actions, chances are that she’ll be the one succumbing. I’ve seen it happen.
My best friend in the world has some issues with girls, but one thing he NEVER has trouble with owning his actions. He has such a strong frame with the things that he believes, that even after thirteen years of best friendship I find myself succumbing to his reality now and then.
Of course, owning your actions is a double-edged sword. It means that even if you make a mistake, that you own that too.
SITUATION: I work as a cashier at a clothing retailer. Last night I was working a four hour shift, it was near the end, and I was dead tired and looking forward to leaving. A customer presented me with a coupon, and I accidentally took off the wrong percent off of their purchase. I could have just as easily told them when they said it looked a little high, that the shirt wasn’t actually on sale and it was an expired deal, saving myself the time and effort of voiding the total and starting again, but I needed to own my actions.
“But Andrew, that sounds and awful lot like taking responsibility for your actions, which is one of the traits of a true alpha male!” Yes reader, it does.
Taking responsibility is one part of it, sure, but the other, more important part is having confidence in who you are and what you want. If you are one way, think a certain way, act a certain way, and make certain choices, should you apologize for that?
No, OWN it.
-Andrew
"Whatever you do, do it with dignity, grace, and style."
I have a pretty fucking cool mom haha
She would tell me this when I was deciding what do do about wanting to break up with my then-girlfriend, last weekend when my Halloween plans crumbled and I had to make a spot decision on what to do and where to do (my costume is under the costume ideas thread; huge success), or even as far back as the kindergarten school bully.
But how does this relate to the thread topic? It means you have to own your actions.
Owning Your Actions
In your road to becoming the man you want to become, you will obviously encounter situations where choices you make will be the choices you want, but you will offend or hurt others in the process. At this point you have a few options.
You can take back your choice, instead choosing to appease everyone around you. The person may feel better about your decision (whatever it may have been), but YOU’LL feel badly about it. After all, your choice was the one you wanted to make
Or, you could keep your choice, but apologize profusely. This is a little better, as you’re sticking to your guns, but personally, I still think you’re a pussy.
OR, you can own your actions. You can do whatever you do with dignity, grace, and style.
I always look at the world as a combination and accumulation of choices. Every single action that you take is a choice. Every time you decide to go on Facebook rather than finish that paper is a choice, every time you go ten pushups instead of whacking it is a choice, every time you DON’T go talk to that girl you are making a choice, even if you aren’t consciously making it.
Owning your actions means that you acknowledge that the choices you make are YOUR choices. It means acknowledging that decisions that you make personally affect you first.
Lets say you are with a hot girl, at least a 717 (read my post on area-coding ;D ), and you are talking about movies you like, and you really like Will Ferrell movies. However, after you say this, she says she thinks hes kind of obnoxious. You could either say that yeah, hes pretty obnoxious, but blades of glory was pretty funny, but you don’t really like his other movies. OR you could own your actions and tell her that you think hes fucking hilarious, and once you watch blades of glory with your own personal commentary she’s gonna think differently.
You may at this point, still be confused with that I mean when I say “own.” They ARE your opinions, actions, thoughts, and choices aren’t they? They are YOURS. They come from YOUR mind. You OWN them. So OWN them. Don’t let some biddie or AMOG tell you what to think or act.
It comes down to who has the strongest frame, and whose reality is stronger. When you tell the biddie that yeah, he’s obnoxious, and not that funny after all, you are succumbing to HER reality! Your whole perception of the world has just changed! Just like that! But when you hold true and own your actions, chances are that she’ll be the one succumbing. I’ve seen it happen.
My best friend in the world has some issues with girls, but one thing he NEVER has trouble with owning his actions. He has such a strong frame with the things that he believes, that even after thirteen years of best friendship I find myself succumbing to his reality now and then.
Of course, owning your actions is a double-edged sword. It means that even if you make a mistake, that you own that too.
SITUATION: I work as a cashier at a clothing retailer. Last night I was working a four hour shift, it was near the end, and I was dead tired and looking forward to leaving. A customer presented me with a coupon, and I accidentally took off the wrong percent off of their purchase. I could have just as easily told them when they said it looked a little high, that the shirt wasn’t actually on sale and it was an expired deal, saving myself the time and effort of voiding the total and starting again, but I needed to own my actions.
“But Andrew, that sounds and awful lot like taking responsibility for your actions, which is one of the traits of a true alpha male!” Yes reader, it does.
Taking responsibility is one part of it, sure, but the other, more important part is having confidence in who you are and what you want. If you are one way, think a certain way, act a certain way, and make certain choices, should you apologize for that?
No, OWN it.
-Andrew
