just saying...

[RMO]

Hey HSPF gang this is Tommy Gold
When I first came on this forum I was a it outlandish and some might even say, akin to a crackpot, I apologize for that weird display when I started. Now I warn you now that this post may be a bit long and it is a descriptor of how PUA influenced my life.

I am a sixteen-year-old junior who currently lives in Fairbanks, AK but im moving to LA in December. MY Mom and dad both lived up here during high school and I was conceived to Christopher Odom and Heather Dukes in about 93’ shortly after I began to move around, never staying in one place longer than a year until 4 years ago. MY parents divorced when I was 4 and I spend summer and winter vacation with my dad. I have moved to a new residence 15 times in my life, 16 in Dec. and I have spent so much time in the Seattle airport and LAX that they are almost second homes to me. A few years after my parents divorced my Dad met mystery and trained with him and is now his business manager, you may know him as Lovedrop. If you don’t believe me friend me on myspace
myspace.com/poxidermus
and check my LA photos and you will see me with my brother and dad. Or you could just ask Alek, I have lived in one house for the past 4 years in Alaska just off a military base and I have been going to school at the base. There is maybe 600 people in the whole school, 200 of which is junior high, there is almost no dating pool. Its one of the many reasons I am moving.

So there is a reason to me posting this.
Ever since I was young I always enjoyed beautiful women. Prepuberty they were just interesting, alien creatures to me, I never had many younger friends I always talked with adults. Once my fifth grade teacher told my mom I was using words she didn’t know, I was just used to talking to adults, seventh and eighth grade were pretty much suck do to that. Anyway Ive always been natural with older women and when I was introduced with highschool I couldn’t understand at first the bullshit girls were doing in highschool it made no sense, I mean really no sense, not compared with 20 year old girls. So I didn’t get into the dating scene till late in the game.
When I was fifteen I was with my dad in LA and we were walking down a street by a friends house. He told me about him being a PUA and the things he could do. I didn’t believe him even when I met mystery ( who is btw a complete psychopath, him and matador are just like highschooler’s) but then I read the mystery method and I met Niel Struass and I was just amazed at what these people could do. I began reading and trying to learn as much as I could, but no one I saw could really attune me to the thought process, they just taught routines and the closest I came to seeing pure confidence was Tyler Durden in Fight Club, which explains the avatar, But in California dad was always righting books, and the most learning I ever got was when he taught me how to make a blog and I made this
hormoneblogs.com/
I got like 300 dollars and as far as my money issues are Im working over in TBF and Black hat forums.
Totally off point.
Anyway I liked PUA, a lot of the ideas made sense, I already had experience in talking to girls without their looks getting in the way and ever since then I have been trying to learn about it.
So my days are spent pretty much writing, go to school, learn Pick up, and other hobbies. My best friend was being a big douche but it turns out he was just angry at someone else so that’s good. Im living a decent life, other than the fact that.Im living in a frozen hell.


Over the summer I was able to convince my dad and kacey if I could move in with them. It would be a radical change, I would have to be an adult but there was no reason I couldn’t, other than my brother, and I would because they just moved to Hollywood, CA, so I would wany that. I talked to my counselor and it was all go for transferring schools, I still have to get a focal point on which school Im going to or if Illl just take online classes. I will be moving Christmas break.

I also want to add something to my life and career other than just attending school. I want to do a whole hell of a lot more writing, get a few more screenplays done, and set up a few more blogs. Since I have a whole month up here with nothing to do, not even girls, that’s I all I have to do , So Im going for it.

I need your guys help o a few things.
My junior year as been like no other, I encountered some of the worst drama imaginable, I have seen the best and worst’s of people, Ive seen extremes of both nature and my home. It does get to be 90 in the summer up here and its like 20 below zero now, incredibly beautiful nature, Im incredibly fortunate in order to see any of this in my lifetime. But the only issue is that my hormone cocktail of chemicals floating through my body , the fact that I don’t have a real solid home ( I move to much) and the exreme polarities of my life induce some of the weirdest revelations, Like literally I have an ephinany and break down, its fucking brutal, and im not being a pussy, but fully grasping ideas like
- Im going to die any sec of any die and that’s it
- Love is not eternal
- People are inherently evil
- The world is circling the drain
- Ect ect
There are some good revelations but for the most part there terrible realizations and my sanity and overall calm as been physically altered, Ive lost a lot of my comfort zones but to have the to be replaced by an unpredictable PUA wannabe/ tyler durden esque personality.

Now here’s the important part

I want you gives to give me some pointers on being natural, Ive looked through the forum, theres all whole section but it is disjointed and im not entirely sure what exactly it is, I want to be able cross this hurdle and be able to completely think like a PUA.

I want you guys to show support, I don’t know why I need support this badly but Im beginning to lose touch with people, mostly highschoolers, like their stupid kids or something, its unsettling, if you guys could show your support or something, I don’t really know.

I also want you guys to post your stories on this thread, make up names, make up places, but give us a story, this forum is beginning to feel like the rest of the internet, cold impassionate, lets change that.


And finally MY college plans are simple, Im going to go to college in the LA area, meh, but as soon as my money making stuff begins to kick in im going to start another project Hollywood of sorts. It will work better this time because A. We have all the experince of the other PUA’s, B . Money will be provided by something other than PUA. Im getting together with a few guys from this forum, Alek said that once he was done with school he would try to get over there, any body else interested?

- gold

[Alek]

Yeah man, this is a long shot for now, because it is hard to plan for the future, who knows what it will bring. But bringing up the idea now! YES we do want to create a project hollywood, and yes absolutely I WILL join in, but I need to finish some things first. So it would take at least like 3-5 years.

Great post man

[RMO]

Yea so everybody, this was a big post downplayed by the girls and fashion. But I do need feedback, I would kind of like to know if any body knows what im going through, or am I doomed to be a solipsist? constructive criticism? cmon

[wespeezy]

when you say natural do you mean like the way a "normal" highschooler acts, what he does and says?

or


Do you mean the way that someone naturally good with women in highschool acts, what he does and says?

[RMO]

no, i mean embracing the ghost and the flame ( revelation idea)
being natural cool, think tyler durden ( fight comparison 747), he doesnt need routines, he just is

and being naturally good with women in highschool is just by talking and using kino, its not difficult, im talking for my life

[Deleted]

Tommy,

I understand where you’re coming from in your revelations part. I’ve had moments like that too back when I was about 12 or 13. I had the same “death can occur at any moment” revelation and let me tell you it fucked with my head badly. I honestly thought I was going to die that’s how bad that revelation/ panic attack was. I wasn’t 100% normal until about a year after that revelation and those were some majorly trying times. I would worry everyday about every little thing that could happen, but I knew deep down inside (and with advice from my parents) that it never would. You want to know how I got over it? I sat down by myself and I sorted shit out.

I realized in life there’s good and bad things. There’s good and evil, peace and war, friends and foes and that’s just the way life is. Some things you have no control over so how is worrying about it going to make it better? It’s not. You live with it, because worrying only makes it worse. You have no control over your life, you have no idea if you will win the lottery or get run over by a car tomorrow so just try to make the best out of every moment you have. You don’t know how your future will turn out so make your present the best damn present you can. I also realized how much time I was wasting and fun things I was passing up because it could possibly have a way of turning bad. After that I took a lot more risks, had a lot more fun, and loved life a lot more. All in all I’m glad I got that whole little revelation out of my life early.

To sum it up: Live your life to the fullest and take a lot of risks and if you can’t change it, don’t worry about it. So that means your “People are inherently evil” and “The world is circling the drain” hubbub. Can you change this? Nope, didn’t think so (and please don’t say you can save the earth, it’s already royally fucked ). Please keep this in mind whenever you feel like having another revelation and realize how instead of worrying how the world may or may not end or how diet soda may or may not cause cancer, you could be chatting up some cute girl.

Hope I could help.

By the way, I would definitely be up for a new Project Hollywood ;D

[RMO]

yea aaron your description is a good version of my ect ect
its kind of the reason I was in PUA, that second part kind of goes hand in hand with the realization
" Were all gonna die, I intend to deserve it."
My philosphy really isnt my problem, im just trying to make sure im not the only guy who deals with this crap.

[$wagg]

You're not alone, we all deal with negative emotions.

Wanna become natural? Double your Dating by DeAngelo. Seriously opened my eyes to alot of things, and instead of simply teaching you routines like everyone else, he explains to the best of his abilities while ingraining you with the correct mindsets. Check it out.

[wespeezy]

if you really want to do some inner game stuff from david deangelo the book isnt the best, alot of it is just evolution and stuff. Take a look at the advanced series, on being a man and deeper inner game. You can get any of these from torrent sites