Post by RMO on Jun 4, 2010 21:49:49 GMT -5
Anxiety
Everyone feels it, even the masters of pick up, and it is one of the major reasons that people remain AFC. You feel that you would be shot down as soon as you opened, or that you would run out of things to say, or make an absolute fool out of yourself. Or even worse you let you self-esteem get led about by those around you. The general advice to this is: don't doubt yourself man, or Don't give a fuck what they say and this is generally good advice but it only registers on a logical level, there is still a little voice inside your head that will make you question if you really can, it holds you back.
That little voice is your EGO
Let me be crystal clear, your ego is NOT your self-esteem, the words use in modern America has slowly morphed into that but your ego is something else entirely. Y'know those crazy people who are muttering to themselves on the street? Well in reality 99.9999999% of the population does the exact same thing only in their heads. They've heard that voice for so long that they believe it to be their own, it goes by many names, one of the most recognizable is the devil. And you've heard the greatest trick the devil ever played was to make you believe he didn't exist. Don't believe for a second that your ego is you, it really isn't, if it makes it easier imagine its the devil and angel stereotype, only on top of attempting to make you make moral choices they try to point out reality and inadvertently tear out your self esteem.
What does the ego have to do with anything?
Your emotions are just chemical that effect your body generated from your brain due to subconscious impulses originating in the ego or simply your emotions are the result of your ego. Why do you fear rejection or failure? Because of the negative emotional reaction when an social situation gets all fucked up. This is do to the tribal mind process that allows the whole PUA process to actual work and its ingrained into our very bodies that rejection means death so our emotions are tailored to make sure that we don't. But our emotions are not gods, they are just very good guidelines to follow in general. So in the end, you allow your self-esteem and in anxiety to be controlled by the ego, your not in control of your emotions or feelings so fear gets the best of you.
So if I'm an emotional bitch how do I keep my ego from controlling me?
Certain philosophies and religions, such as Buddhism, have had the same questions so the general concepts of meditation and enlightenment came forth. You see the concept of searching for happiness and material possessions causes suffering, you cant have the sweet without the salty kind of thing. So the monks though that in order to transcend pain and suffering you had to drop happiness and go beyond it, to be at peace with yourself and embrace nothingness, let the peace of emptiness, the quiet stillness fill you, engulf you entirely. If you can reach this part you are enlightened. The path to enlightenment is difficult yet simple, you simply stop thinking, or at least stop actively having the voice talk. This can be done in a multitude of ways, the most common is to sit by yourself and focus on the world around you so that your thoughts dissipate. Other ways to do this can be to hum quietly while in the car ect ect, anything that allows you to slowly reach a calm place of nothing.
So WTF does the ego and enlightenment all that other hippie bullshit have to do with inner game?
Well controlling your ego is a bonus if you don't want you emotions and self-esteem to be controlled by other people. But it allows you to truly not give a fuck about other people's opinions, it does not mean you disregard a vibe and what others are doing, but you are genuinely free of worrying about negative vibes, you let them pass through you, you are laid back yet fun, nothing seems to get to you.
A nice little side effect is it also puts you into state, the same way good music can, it allows a more deep calm in social situations and suddenly your anxiety melts away. It is still natural to doubt yourself, and reaching that level of enlightenment is extremely difficult, but this is one of the steps on the way to internalizing game and perfecting inner game.
*BTW I am a hard core atheist and anything I said that was religious in any way in the above writing is just using common societal phrases, also none of you are 'emotional bitches'... well most of you. Also read the power of now.
Everyone feels it, even the masters of pick up, and it is one of the major reasons that people remain AFC. You feel that you would be shot down as soon as you opened, or that you would run out of things to say, or make an absolute fool out of yourself. Or even worse you let you self-esteem get led about by those around you. The general advice to this is: don't doubt yourself man, or Don't give a fuck what they say and this is generally good advice but it only registers on a logical level, there is still a little voice inside your head that will make you question if you really can, it holds you back.
That little voice is your EGO
Let me be crystal clear, your ego is NOT your self-esteem, the words use in modern America has slowly morphed into that but your ego is something else entirely. Y'know those crazy people who are muttering to themselves on the street? Well in reality 99.9999999% of the population does the exact same thing only in their heads. They've heard that voice for so long that they believe it to be their own, it goes by many names, one of the most recognizable is the devil. And you've heard the greatest trick the devil ever played was to make you believe he didn't exist. Don't believe for a second that your ego is you, it really isn't, if it makes it easier imagine its the devil and angel stereotype, only on top of attempting to make you make moral choices they try to point out reality and inadvertently tear out your self esteem.
What does the ego have to do with anything?
Your emotions are just chemical that effect your body generated from your brain due to subconscious impulses originating in the ego or simply your emotions are the result of your ego. Why do you fear rejection or failure? Because of the negative emotional reaction when an social situation gets all fucked up. This is do to the tribal mind process that allows the whole PUA process to actual work and its ingrained into our very bodies that rejection means death so our emotions are tailored to make sure that we don't. But our emotions are not gods, they are just very good guidelines to follow in general. So in the end, you allow your self-esteem and in anxiety to be controlled by the ego, your not in control of your emotions or feelings so fear gets the best of you.
So if I'm an emotional bitch how do I keep my ego from controlling me?
Certain philosophies and religions, such as Buddhism, have had the same questions so the general concepts of meditation and enlightenment came forth. You see the concept of searching for happiness and material possessions causes suffering, you cant have the sweet without the salty kind of thing. So the monks though that in order to transcend pain and suffering you had to drop happiness and go beyond it, to be at peace with yourself and embrace nothingness, let the peace of emptiness, the quiet stillness fill you, engulf you entirely. If you can reach this part you are enlightened. The path to enlightenment is difficult yet simple, you simply stop thinking, or at least stop actively having the voice talk. This can be done in a multitude of ways, the most common is to sit by yourself and focus on the world around you so that your thoughts dissipate. Other ways to do this can be to hum quietly while in the car ect ect, anything that allows you to slowly reach a calm place of nothing.
So WTF does the ego and enlightenment all that other hippie bullshit have to do with inner game?
Well controlling your ego is a bonus if you don't want you emotions and self-esteem to be controlled by other people. But it allows you to truly not give a fuck about other people's opinions, it does not mean you disregard a vibe and what others are doing, but you are genuinely free of worrying about negative vibes, you let them pass through you, you are laid back yet fun, nothing seems to get to you.
A nice little side effect is it also puts you into state, the same way good music can, it allows a more deep calm in social situations and suddenly your anxiety melts away. It is still natural to doubt yourself, and reaching that level of enlightenment is extremely difficult, but this is one of the steps on the way to internalizing game and perfecting inner game.
*BTW I am a hard core atheist and anything I said that was religious in any way in the above writing is just using common societal phrases, also none of you are 'emotional bitches'... well most of you. Also read the power of now.