Please help, serious oneitis, need to get this gir

[bravo]

thread closed due to

[hamah]

Trying to much to game her I think. Like it just doesn't seem natural for that first part. I also think you brought her being cute into it too much. When a girl is good looking they know it. It's like when I'm talking with a girl and she brings up my looks in it all the time, it gets annoying and repetitive and seems like they are trying to hard to make me like them. I think the constant calling her cutie is what killed it.
Commenting on style or how she dresses is a much better choice. saying something like that's quite the shirt, takes someone special to pull it off. They can't tell if its good or bad but it shows you noticed because clothing is something girls spend a lot of time on. It would have to be a nice shirt though.
You also talked about hanging out to much after you asked so seemed needy maybe. If you gave her the option the door is open. Then you could have brought it up later in the week.
And you didn't show much dhvs until you talked about traveling, just showed you thought good about yourself.

She was obviously interested quite a bit in the beginning. You brought up cute twice in like 2 texts in a row. Then when she said open relationship you said jealous type. Which makes it seem like you tried to hard to bring that divorce thingy in there. Then later in that next convo you brought up being cute in like every message. It makes you seem like every guy who only cares about looks. Then later you said seducing you when she only brought up something in common that you didn't say before so obviously she didn't know or try to. Just be like wow we have so much in common. If she hits on you or something then be like that seduction won't work on me.

Overall just stop. Be natural. You had some very good spots but the main things I pointed out I think ruined it.

In a few days try and set up a time to meet her. Don't text her for a while too unless she does first.

[slyman]

I agree - your redundancy was what ruined it. other than that, pretty good. also - what where the time periods in which she texted u back then u texted? if she txts u back in a minute, u should always wait 4-5. if she texts u in 5, wait 15 to text her back.

[slyman]

also - always let her have the last text of the convo.

[Keysersoze]

firs fo all on a broader level it all felt a little robotic, but you did a reasonably good job... Here's how I see it...

Oct 11, 2010 2:51:24 GMT -5 bravo said:

Me: I have a feeling ur not gonna get pass this one haha im looking for something specific: What would u say are ur best
qualities?


*SHE IGNORED THIS TEXT, AND NEVER RESPONDED TO IT, NOT INTO ME?*

You threw her too much of a big hoop so soon, like she said "you were asking me irrelevant questions", you put too much pressure on her way too soon... But before that she was warming to you dude...

Oct 11, 2010 2:51:24 GMT -5 bravo said:

HER: Haha there's no seduction going on ooh why are u going to france and spain?

(THIS IS WHERE I REALLY GOT WORRIED, SHE DISQUALIFIED HERSELF AND BASICALLY SAID SHE DOESN'T WANT TO FLIRT AND CHANGED THE SUBJECT, DID I GET FRIEND ZONED SOMEWHERE HERE?)

If instead of taking her literally, you just assumed attraction this could be seen as tongue in cheek... eg. If you had truly believed she was chasing you, you would of been a little cocky with your reply...

Oct 11, 2010 2:51:24 GMT -5 bravo said:

ME: I have family all over europe, so Im going to visit, going to north africa too! What places have u been to?

HER: Thats awesome I've been to Sweden, Mexico, New Zealand, Australia, and Fiji...

ME: Lol oh my god, do u know that guy from man vs wild or something haha?

HER: Haha, I wish! My brother goes to college in New Zealand, I have family in Sweden and australia, the rest was just
vacation or lay overs haha, where have u been?

ME: Omg thats awesome, I've been to germany, england, france, italy, and malta lol. Out of all France is my favorite,
Paris is freakin amazing haha

HER: Thats amazing, I'm doing foreign exchange next yearr

ME: Haha wow, u move around a lot, where u going?

HER: Norway. I just like to travel

ME: Haha ur totally copying my hobbies, I heart traveling. Not all of it is even the places, its the smell of a new place,
climate change, airport smell haha

HER: exactly I feel totally at home in an airport haha. Where do you want to travel most?

(ASKING ME SO MANY QUESTIONS LIKE THIS AND NO FLIRTING VIBE WHATSOEVER, I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE SHE FRIEND ZONED ME, ITS ALMOST AS IF SHE WANTS TO MAKE SURE I DONT FLIRT WITH HER)

ME: I so wanna go down to south america, mostly peru, argentina, brazil, bolivia, chile, and i also really wanna go to
south africa, where do you wanna go?

HER: Yea that would be fun I like scandinavia and I havent been to Finland or Iceland yet so that would be cool.

ME: Definitely, I had a friend from Denmark who was really cool, so I wanna visit northern europe. So since ur international
like me, watched the world cup?

HER: Some of it. I was traveling a lot haha so it was in differnet time zones. did you?

ME: Oh yea, I loved it, I love the world cup because it feels like I'm traveling in my living room. Hey, I'm going
swimming friday, u should come tag along

HER: Haha ya maybe. I've been soo busy. Are all of your classes through (study program)?

you're too agreeable, you broke your frame of her pursuing you and being a challenge... so she probably saw that you were being incongruent... Then you rewarded her for showing disinterest investing more into the conversation then she had... And finally at times I felt that you weren't really sure what your next move was... It all felt a little clunky, but that's fine the smoothness comes with practise... You're doing well...

You needed to escalate the interaction with smaller hoops, generating more investment so she'd jump through the larger ones... then using what she said to slowly lead her into a more sexually charged conversation in the same way...

here's a few tips for the future:

• Always be thinking about where you want to lead her, then working backwards to where you are now, work out how you plan on getting her there...
  
• Try to keep the levels of investment on both sides at least equal...
  
• Escalate in a way which is gradual, paced and in line with the amount she has already invested in the conversation...
  

BTW when I talk about leading her I don't mean jumping from talking to sex; start with a smaller goal like chatting to flirting, flirting to meeting up, meeting up to kissing, kissing to sex... It's easier to plan in small chunks than big ones, there's less variables to deal with...(Hope that makes sense to you.)

Well done though dude, personally I think you did well to get the number and actually use it... I used to be guilty of getting number's and not bothering to even try them... Keep it up dude...

[Alek]

how can you have one itis over a girl that you dont even know

[bravo]

Oct 11, 2010 12:43:31 GMT -5 hamah said:

...Trying to much to game her I think. Like it just doesn't seem natural for that first part.

I agree, I am taking this PUA shit way too serious, I am not natural. It has made me worse than I was before I found it, even though I was a complete nice guy before. Now I over think things too much, and its like getting a girl is some sort of rocket science that if I dont get all the phases right, I wont win. I am just going to be the natural me, and take a break from this PUA crap, even if that means being nice. I didn't know what kind of personality I had before finding PUA, but reading up on PUA made it worse and now I really dont know who I am. I mean my friends get hot girls, and some of them are not even naturals, they just are THEM. I am done with this, I am going back to the real me, and play the game naturally. I'm pretty sure its simple, its just these tactics, phases, and shit have really messed it up for me and made it way more complicated than it should be. I am going to take a huge vacation away from this site and all PUA material, to see if I can just enjoy life, find myself, and get girls naturally by being "me", not some fake guy hiding and reading and following shit that might help him score. This stuff is obviously not working for me, and is COMPLETELY unnatural and not me, so I dont see if it could benefit me at all.[/quote][/quote]

[bravo]

Uh, im so confused...

[bravo]

Dont know why it keeps creating new posts instead of editing my original one.

[Nick]

Actually, for most men, being a PUA is natural (except for the over analyzing part). I think nice guys hide their real personality in attempts to manipulate women to go out with them. That's why naturals are called "naturals." The only difference between them and us is that they don't hide they're personality. They just go with their gut feeling and whatever they feel like doing.

It's natural to be selfish... it's natural to want women... and it's natural to get women. That's how the world works.

For me, I've gained years of experience by reading PUA books since I've actually missed out on years of experience because I've been hiding my personality. Just do whatever the hell you want and fuck the world. Throw your personality out there. Your real one... Not who you THINK you are, not who you WANT to be, and not based on whether you are feeling depressed or energetic. Find yourself and be yourself. That's all I have to say on the matter. "Be yourself" is a cliche saying because it's true and it works, most people just don't have the balls to actually do it.

[bravo]

Yea I agree that wanting to bang all the women in the world is natural in a lot of guys. I never said that the goals behind being a PUA were not natural, but that using PUA tactics is definitely not natural. But yes, being a nice guy is also fake. Although I think I am a genuinely nice guy, not in the suck up give me pussy way, but I respect everyone and get along with most guys well, and McQueen you said it very well there, this is what I think to getting all the access to girls are, it has been in front of us the whole time, just be you and stop all this fake shit, checking and counting too see if you have enough IOI'S to kiss close, I mean it is hilarious if you think about it.