Mr. Nice guy

[andrew]

Hey guys, I seem to have this problem with being to nice to people. I feel that I must value their opinions above mine in order for me to be Christian. This leads to me being a push over sometimes in order to make other people happy. However whenever I stand up for myself I seem to gain respect from the people I'm trying to make happy. I know pleasing people can't be right, can anyone help rationalize this for me?

[RMO]

In order for me to be christian? OK for the sake of argument I'm just going to pretend I'm not a religion-hating atheist for one minute.

You are a bitch. Its not a mean thing, but you are right that people respect you if you stand up for yourself. People will always have problems, dont be a douche, but understand its not your job to fix them.

If you want to rationalize it, people dont really give a shit about nice guys, be pious and good to people nobody cares. They want the badboy, the leader, the person who makes them feel good only because hes having a good time.

Be comfortable, and just saying you can be a Christian and not value others opinions above your own, but the concept is a little harder to accept if your subservient to an all powerful being.

heres three rules.

1.) Have fun
2.) Dont react to negativity
3.) Be happy for yourself, live for yourself, feel pride in who you are.

[slyman]

"Be comfortable, and just saying you can be a Christian and not value others opinions above your own, but the concept is a little harder to accept if your subservient to an all powerful being." - nicely said.

"OK for the sake of argument I'm just going to pretend I'm not a religion-hating atheist for one minute." Beautifully said.

bowing down to any one person or idea is a recipe for desaster and will lead you no where if you ask me. stand up for yourself, QUESTION AUTHORITY, and dont be a push over man.

[scripts]

I used to be and still a little am like this. But I started using sarcasm to stick up for myself. You're not being a bad person and you are sticking up for yourself. I also stopped caring what other people thought of me, I started worrying of how I viewed myself. People can't make you feel bad about yourself without your consent. Being a quiet person isn't what matters to a girl, your personality does, at least that's what I heard from a few people.

[Johnny Bravo]

Learn to accept who you are, and then you won't care what other people think.

[Adam]

Yo guys don't bash on religion (I'm agnostic) it's not about bowing before somebody/idea its about finding a relationship with it. If you have any problems with what I just wrote do not post your opinion here (don't ruin the thread) instead pm me. We will all know when we die.

Back on topic I use to be mr.nice guy but now my rule of thumb is if what you say is truly funny and not too low below the belt then it doesn't count as mean.

[RMO]

The only problem I have is that it has any bearing on who you are. but i hope the best to you andrew

[perceverance]

prodigy, i dont understand how people want the guy whos the complete asshole. im not saying be a nice guy but being a complete asshole isnt gonna get you any friends imo.

[Adam]

nice guys are boring and needy but they are dependable making them the perfect FRIEND. there is the nice guy the bad guy and the good guy.

Nice guy= friend
Bad guy= asshole but still gets bitches
Good guy= real man who can stand his own without being a douch

[perceverance]

I cant seem to get the correct mix, im either a nice guy or an asshole.

[Adam]

Cocky and funny by dd is a good example of the good guy. Also start doing things for yourself your problem is IMO is that you have to build a bit of an ego. I think you put yourself beneath others when you have to realize that you are better than some people. My problem was letting what people think of me control me but I realized if you try to tailor a suit to fit everybody soon it will be cut down to nothing.

[Johnny Bravo]

Dec 14, 2010 22:26:12 GMT -5 perceverance said:

I cant seem to get the correct mix, im either a nice guy or an asshole.

One who accepts himself, doesn't see this.

One who knows who he is, accepts what he does, and realized people are like him.

One who knows what he is, treats people, like he treats himself.

[perceverance]

I cant wrap my head around that Johnny. I see what you mean though, your basiclly talking about self-confidence. fake it till you make it eh? im slowly getting there :\

[Johnny Bravo]

I mean, stop trying to fight who you are, and accept who you are, but you have things you'd like to change. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Start treating people how you would like to be treated in that situation.

Take any situation where you are too nice or too much of a dick, and turn the roles around. Where the person who you were mean too, is now you.
You are now the person you were mean to.

Re-do the conversation in your head, and see what you would have wanted them to say, then remember that.

Do that everytime something happens, and you'll start to change.

Its called knowing who you are, and what you want.

[twotyme]

What prodigy wrote on his first comment was solid, its money .. its really that simple