She loves you, you're not ready

[nick]

Avoiding as much fluff as possible:
I feel like she's going to tell me she loves me soon, and I don't feel the same way yet.

So when she says "I love you." should I just say "I'm not ready to say it back yet"?

Or what?

Thanks in advance.

[owl]

I used to deal with this. Unless you really want to make this broad hate your ass faster than Usain Bolt's 100 meter dash, for the love of god don't say that.

Imagine if she said that to you after you truly confessed your love for her. Ouch.

If she's joking, that's another story. Is she super cereal or just saying it in a fluffy way?

[nick]

Its serious, we've both talked about how we don't toss around the word love. She said once "I keep wanting to say I love you," because she does this thing after I do something that makes her happy where she takes a breath as if to say something, then shuts herself off. That being when she was gonna say it.

She also expressed her fear that she would fall in love with me and I wouldn't feel the same way back.

[owl]

Friend, I've never been in love. I don't know the feeling. Here's my two cents anyways.

That being said, I noticed you tossed around the the phrase "in love yet". You have to ask yourself, and I mean truly ask yourself, "Do I want to fall in love?". Falling in love is easy.

Falling out? I'd imagine it would be hard. Very hard.

There is no denying that saying you love somebody is a powerful thing. Sure, I get that. But, have you thought of there being a difference between saying you love somebody and actually living out your love for them?

Honestly, these days the word love is tossed around. A lot. I can attest to saying "I Love You" in sincerity, but do not actually live out/attempt to care for those people. That's not love.

Love should be built around actions, not words bro. Sure, you can affirm your love for her and her for you. But, like you're doing, don't toss around the word "love" in a moment of seriousness unless you really want to commit to loving her. You don't want to build up this pretense of your love, only to crush her by not acting it out and ending something that seems to be special, all because you weren't confident in what you said.

tl;dr- Unless you use actions, rather than words, to profess your love, it's not love. Love doesn't need to be affirmed in words, if the feeling is mutual, the only thing it can do is supplement an already loving relationship. If the time feels right and you feel like being honest about how you feel , Yeehaw, go for it.

[Luis the awesomest of awesomes]

NOOOOO YOU DUMBASS have you ever met a girl before in your life? haha
but seriously if she says I love you you just say omg thanks that's so sweet, I was not expecting that.

[nick]

Thanks Owl, you've been a lot of help. I've never been in love either, cause Ive never put a lot of weight into my flings. I feel like "that's so sweet, I wasn't expecting that" wouldn't go over so well.

[scripts]

That actually goes along with C/F which would actually work. You would also have the frame. If it was the opposite, then you would have to work hard in order to get her to tell you. If it's the opposite, then she has to work to get you to love her back.

[Luis the awesomest of awesomes]

Jan 20, 2011 3:44:41 GMT -5 nick said:

Thanks Owl, you've been a lot of help. I've never been in love either, cause Ive never put a lot of weight into my flings. I feel like "that's so sweet, I wasn't expecting that" wouldn't go over so well.

Well if you tell her that you're not sure about your feelings it will be controversial. Do whatever you want, but the trick there is that you aren't saying I love you back but you are still being nice. it's like a nice way of rejecting her

[RMO]

the question do i love her is never answered

I dont love you

never, ever question her feelings, t will be a directly hit to her ego. Just go with it, you dont have to say

I love you

but dont reject her. Comfort is key

[perceverance]

^ exactly