Raising Her Confidence

[amarok]

As we all know, most girls in high school have just about ZERO self-confidence. This includes my girlfriend, as I'm sure it includes all of yours.

Any how-to's, tips or tricks (no, not any tricks, nevermind) on how to raise your girl's confidence?

[RMO]

I'm really interested in answers to this, my last GF had horrible
self esteem

[Validus]

Make her feel good about her self.. But be careful with this.. If / when you detach your self from her, could potentially all come crashing down...

[Adam]

Ok you can make your girl feel happy but just remember a golden rule YOUR HAPPINESS COMES FIRST! My last gf had horrible self esteem i think next time ill get a girl with confidence (if i decide to date any time soon)

[amarok]

If I'm hearing what you're saying right Validus, I'm not sure that'll work. Sure, you can make her beautiful, but how long does that normally last? I spent a year and a half trying to get my girlfriend's confidence up and nothing changed. No disrespect, why I'm asking this is because that's the only solution I've come up with too!

And definitely 1up, I think that's where a lot of guys go wrong with this. They do everything they can to build their confidence that soon enough they have nothing more to give.

[Amb1valence]

This is an issue I've been struggling with for as long as I can remember. Surely there's an article about this in one of the other educational subforums?

It's so true that 99% of girls have no self confidence in high school lmao. It sucks balls cuz you know they're sexy as shit, but they seem to not think so and so they flake out, thinking you won't like them and stupid shit like that! And then what usually happens is if you bombard her with compliments to make her feel good, and it works, either:

1. She might think you're trying too hard and disregard you (this actually is just a fear of mine, maybe it doesn't actually happen in real life, I'm just theorizing)

or 2. (this is what usually happens) - when and if you do fuck her, she wraps herself around you with the intent of becoming your boyfriend and living happily ever after.
(I'm a guy who doesn't do relationships...ever, because I just can't restrain myself to one girl for more than a week, so this situation is BAD NEWS for me)

[canadiankid]

Like 3 girls in my grade have self confidence. Such bullshit. But the girls that have the most are never sluts. Just sayin. That doesn't help but I'm not sure either

[DanZy]

Apr 3, 2011 19:29:40 GMT -5 canadiankid said:

But the girls that have the most are never sluts.

that's generally because the confident girls don't feel the need to be validated by hooking up with lots of guys.

[taxman]

Some girls are sexually liberated and some just aren't. Girls will take validation anyway it comes that's why they will makeout with their girlfriends if it comes to It. I generally think its not our job to worry about this, we approach girls to be succesfull with them not to lift her self esteem. Some could say hot girls have *too* much confidence and just expect things to come to them especially in the interaction, so the next article is going to be about how to lower her confidence ? Not likely. In other words just go with the flow and if you want to help her so bad give her a self help book like tolle or something

[RMO]

even though it is harsh, I almost have to agree with taxman, were PUAs we should be going for the cream of the crop. Now if you have one of your girl friends, one of the many girls you should just be friends with, has crippling self esteem issues you could go about helping her, but going for emotionally insecure targets seems like a bad deal.

[canadiankid]

DanZy - totally agreed

Taxman/Prodigy - as much as I agree, I'm also not a dick and I have morals. I won't just up and leave a girl at the first sign she's emotionally insecure/lacks self confidence. That's just going to make it worse, and I agree that being her counselor isn't your job but if your dating, it is to an extent. Your supposed to listen and although it's not in agreement with pick up, I'd rather be in a healthy relationship that we can tell each other anything than one where I'm, well being an asshole cause I'm scared shell leave otherwise because some guy I've never met told me she would.

[RMO]

I agree but keep in mind that an opener is screener for emotionally damaged girls, in a relationship yes you have to share and help each other and all that goodness, but when you are deciding who you are going to invest your time in, confident girls are usually much better

[taxman]

Quick question: why would you wanna try and raise a girls confidence ?

[RMO]

if she was your friend, like i stated before, or your in a relationship and she needs comfort. But for the most part this is kind of a gripe with finally getting good at getting girls and realizing they arent all awesome.

[amarok]

Apr 4, 2011 12:56:27 GMT -5 @taxman said:

Quick question: why would you wanna try and raise a girls confidence ?

Because you care about her and want her to be happy with herself?

No over the top offense guys, but you're sounding like being PUA's are the only things you guys are. Call it sensitivity, nice guy thinking, or AFCism, but once you're in a relationship you drop the asshole act to a degree. You let her in and she lets you in, and you help each other through problems you wouldn't tell other people. That's what having a relationship is about. It's not just fucking, it's not just talking.

And seriously, low confidence is considered emotionally damaged? Wtf guys! Look at it through their perspective, like everything you've heard. Look at how much pressure they have to look good, keep in shape, ect. OF COURSE they have low self esteem.

As a final note-- If you're looking for the cream of the crop, the best of the best, you're never really gonna satisfied. One day I hope you guys realize you're much more attracted to and satisfied with someone who might not be a 9 or 10, but someone who is truly perfect-- perfectly imperfect. But you're never going to get them with these attitudes.