Shaking things up?

[gumball]

I haven't been in a relationship and would like some advice on how to get there. I usually just have flings here and there. I recently started hanging out with a girl that i've known for just over a year. Mind you this period has a large gap, at the beginning we had a class together, which was really chill so, we'd talk a lot. Ended up k-closing her. After that class was over, we just stopped talking all together. Which brings us to a couple months ago, I ran into her at a party and since then have gone out together, texted, calling, off and on. The thing that I need help most with, is how to get a classy girl into a relationship. She's different than the other girls I usually deal with. She's nice and typical game, just isn't working. Sometimes I have the upper hand and things will be going strong, then I lose the alpha frame and then .. What sort of things can I do to gain more of an alpha image and how to you go from "seeing eachother" to exclusive?

Help much appreciated.

[amarok]

Don't worry so much about keeping a frame and being afraid of losing the alpha frame, especially when you're going for a relationship. Work more towards just hanging out with her and having fun. Take her somewhere different, maybe a nature reserve park and take a walk there, an amusement park, ect. Just have fun with her and don't worry about the PUA stuff as much as when you're going for a fling. Would a girl rather go out with a guy that's all about having fun, or a guy that's all about keeping his alpha frame and running game on her?

[gumball]

When your popular, your conditioned to be a certain way. I often times try and get her to loosen up but somethings just holding her back. I end up looking ridiculous when I try and do stuff that's wild and just for fun (For Example-Cranking up Party in the USA, lol). There's just no way she's that reserved, what can I do to make her let loose, so this plateau of escalation can be conquered?

[amarok]

Consciously focusing on maintaining an alpha frame isn't a result of being popular.

Have you tried pulling her into dancing ect physically? We're in high school, some girls are bound to be shy when it comes to getting up and doing something silly. Give her a little encouragement.

[gumball]

No no no, not me her, she's the really popular one. I've gone to dances when I first met her and again now. She wouldn't let me grind the way she previously let me. It may have partially been because it was a classy theme so she was wearing a fancy dress and didn't want to look like a slut? But what sort of things can I do, encouragement wise?

[amarok]

Ohhh okay. That's odd then, shy and popular in a girl isn't very common, in my school anyway.

If you find she's just sitting at a table doing nothing or especially with a group of friends, take her hand/arm whatever and pull her to dance. If you want to shake things up try going a little more under the radar and build sexual tension with "awkward" silences.

[gumball]

I don't know if taking her and dancing would go down to well, she'd probably be uncomfortable, the guys would be like wtf?, but her friends would probably love it, lol. Funny you should say that about awkward silences, I have tried them, with a goofy smirk and then she'll usually smile back and look/shy away. Any other ideas in your arsenal for "encouragement"?

Edit: She's not all that shy with her friends but me on the other hand..

[gumball]

This girl is fucking with me and my confidence. So hot and cold, ahhh. I think I just need to continue with regular game. I like her and all that, it's just she's running the show somehow.. Fuck, do you guys think getting out of this is taking the easy way out?

[amarok]

If you like I'd say keep going. But, one little trick that's always worked for me in keeping my cool, look at every other cool and see the beauty in every single one. Love the beauty all around you and she'll become just another facet of it.

But try jealousy. Flirt with her friends, pay more attention to them and then give her small amounts of just you time. By controlling the amount of attention you give you help feel in control.

[gumball]

I did that and it worked to a certain extent, but she's a tough nut to crack. She sends many mixed signals. If you want I could text her something, per your request so you could get a feel of what I mean?

[amarok]

"girl take off your pants already" nahh text her something like "hey what's [soandso's] number/facebook w/e" or ask her if she would hook you up with a friend. Play the bestfriend-boyfriend method, at least the beginning of it. See how she responds.

[gumball]

Problem there is, I already have a lot of her friends numbers..

[amarok]

Go for the best friend boyfriend method. Just text her as a really good guy. Get to know her, share a few problems of your own to show a manly vulnerability. show your sensitive side a bit, but make sure not to complain. this will build comfort and also help her to get to know you better.

[gumball]

Can you delve deeper into this best/boyfriend method? It just seems like it might not be the greatest of moves to, "show your sensitive side" before coming exclusive.

[amarok]

The overall goal is to become her best friend and have it transition into her "falling in love" so to speak with her best friend, you.

How do you become her best friend? Just text her as a friend and talk to her about her likes, interests and make connections. Focus of the positive and the similar. Make shared experiences. This might also be why she's shy/ mixed with you. She might not feel comfortable yet. Talk to her, relate to her, and do a good bit of push pull, lean slightly more towards pull though. oh, and take her somewhere romantic, like walking on the beach or the boardwalk.