Post by tozer on Apr 14, 2011 19:52:03 GMT -5
This article is from How to Be an Alpha Male by John Alexander, which i highly recommend if your an AFC.
24 Nonverbal Cues That Scream “I’m Non-
Dominant.” Get Rid of Them and Score!
1) Using “ah” and “um,” partial sentences, and partial
words. Studies have shown that people consider others
who talk like this to lack confidence and not be too bright.
It’s a sign of nervousness. The reason we say “um” is
because we’re afraid we’re going to be interrupted by the
other person. Instead, don’t be afraid to pause for effect.
Pausing before important points will make you seem more
competent and people will remember what you say.
2) Speaking too fast. This gives off the impression that you
feel anxious and have low self-confidence. A normal,
comfortable speaking rate varies within a moderate range
from 125 to 150 words per minute. Slow down!
3) Speaking with a monotone voice, also known as
mumbling. People with a narrow pitch range are viewed as
unassertive, uninteresting, and lacking in confidence. So
vary your pitch and you will be perceived as outgoing and
alpha.
4) Pausing too long before responding to a question. This
indicates that you’re thinking too hard for your answer, which
makes you seem indecisive. It also looks like you’re trying
too hard to win the other person’s approval.
5) Pulled-in, closed postures. An alpha male spreads his
arms and legs out and is open. When standing, you can
force open your body language by hooking your thumbs in
your back pockets.
6) Holding your hands in front of you. This is a defensive
gesture. Instead hold yourself open and vulnerable. (You
hold yourself vulnerable because you feel no fear.) Let your
arms relax and be open. Nobody’s going to punch you, so
why do you need to block yourself?
7) Twitching your fingers or hands. When you're across the
table from someone there's a natural inclination to play with
sugar packets or straw wrappers with your fingers. Don't.
And don’t drum your fingers on the table—women hate that.
8) Touching your face when you talk. This indicates that
you’re thinking too hard, you’re indecisive, or that you feel
shy. To convey confidence, hold your hands together in a
steeple shape in front of your chest or face. (A lot of
professors do this when they are lecturing.) Another posture
that will help you when you need a huge display of
confidence is holding your hands at your hips. Cops do this
when they need to establish authority over criminal suspects.
9) Folding or crossing your arms in front of you. On rare
occasions it is possible to fold your arms in an alpha fashion
(watch Brad Pitt in the movie Fight Club for a good
demonstration of this), but as a general rule, avoid it.
10) Rigid or hunched posture. An alpha male has a relaxed
posture, whether he’s standing or sitting. Loosen up and
spread out.
11) Looking down. The alpha man holds his head high. It
shows zest. Looking down at the floor telegraphs “loser.”
Keep your chin up. Expose your neck—don’t worry,
nobody’s going to choke you! Look at the person you’re
talking to; remember what I said about using your eyes.
12) Nervous facial gestures such as lip licking, pursing your
lips, twitching your nose, and biting your lips. An alpha male
has a relaxed face and mouth because he fears no one.
13) Excessive smiling. Studies of primates have shown that
beta males will smile as a way to signal their harmlessness
to stronger males. Beta humans smile to show they’re not a
threat. The alpha male, however, only smiles when there is
something to smile about. And yes—he can be a threat.
14) Walking fast as part of your normal walk. Instead, walk
a little slower than normal, almost as if you’re swaggering.
You’re alpha—no one’s chasing you and you’re not rushing
to please anyone else. If you’re not in a hurry to get
somewhere, walk like you’re relaxed and confident. Think: “I
am the man. I can make any woman happy.”
15) Walking only with your legs. Don’t be afraid to move
your torso and arms. Try this: walk as if you’d just had a
massive success and felt on top of the world. Watch what
you do with your body. You may find yourself moving your
arms along with your shoulders and having a slight bounce
in your step. Now, do that all the time.
16) Slouching. You don’t have to stand uncomfortably ramrod
straight, but you should have your shoulders back. Watch
Brad Pitt in any of his movies for examples of how to
comfortably hold your back straight. (I keep bringing Brad
Pitt up because he provides an excellent example of what
good body language looks like. Also watch George Clooney.
For fans of older movies, check out Sean Connery in From
Russia With Love and Rock Hudson in Pillow Talk.)
17) Blinking a lot. Instead blink your eyes slowly. Don't close
your eyes in discomfort. Just let your eyelids relax. In fact,
let them droop a bit. Don't be bug-eyed.
18) Shifting your eyes back and forth when you speak.
That’s very beta. When you’re in a conversation and you’re
doing the talking, gaze at the other person’s face.
Nonverbally, this communicates that that you say is
important and worth listening to.
19) Holding too much eye contact when the other person
speaks. Ignore the dating advice books that tell you to hold
non-stop eye contact. Non-stop eye contact makes you look
needy, socially retarded, and, frankly, like a weirdo. Instead
let your eyes blur and then gaze at her eyes. Look through
her rather than at her. From extensive testing, I've found
that gazing at a woman about two-thirds of the time is
optimal. By the way, only hold the gaze when she's telling
you something genuinely interesting. Otherwise, focus on
other stuff like her breasts, her hair, things going on around
you, etc.
20) Being uncomfortable with your eyes. The bottom line is
that your eyes should be comfortable, relaxed, assertive,
and sexual.
21) Looking down or to the side before answering a
woman’s question. If you do need to look away before
answering in order to think, then look up and to the side.
Studies have shown that this displays more confidence.
22) Being afraid to touch a woman, and thus being nontouching.
Be confident about it when you touch women--
any nervousness at all can be fatal for your relations with
her. Be alpha and physically move her when you need to.
Hold her hand to lead her around, etc. Be gentle—if you
use excessive pressure, you reveal your insecurity. (Since
you’re alpha, of course she will follow you, so there’s no
need to be anything other than playful and tender.) It's
natural to touch others, as when you're emphasizing a point.
So let the love flow!
23) Turning your head fast when someone wants your
attention. Instead use the movements that you would when
you’re at home—slow and relaxed. You’re not at anyone’s
beck and call. You’re alpha, remember?
24) Using long, convoluted sentences. Alphas keep it short
and to the point. If you’re tempted to use long sentences,
break them up.
24 Nonverbal Cues That Scream “I’m Non-
Dominant.” Get Rid of Them and Score!
1) Using “ah” and “um,” partial sentences, and partial
words. Studies have shown that people consider others
who talk like this to lack confidence and not be too bright.
It’s a sign of nervousness. The reason we say “um” is
because we’re afraid we’re going to be interrupted by the
other person. Instead, don’t be afraid to pause for effect.
Pausing before important points will make you seem more
competent and people will remember what you say.
2) Speaking too fast. This gives off the impression that you
feel anxious and have low self-confidence. A normal,
comfortable speaking rate varies within a moderate range
from 125 to 150 words per minute. Slow down!
3) Speaking with a monotone voice, also known as
mumbling. People with a narrow pitch range are viewed as
unassertive, uninteresting, and lacking in confidence. So
vary your pitch and you will be perceived as outgoing and
alpha.
4) Pausing too long before responding to a question. This
indicates that you’re thinking too hard for your answer, which
makes you seem indecisive. It also looks like you’re trying
too hard to win the other person’s approval.
5) Pulled-in, closed postures. An alpha male spreads his
arms and legs out and is open. When standing, you can
force open your body language by hooking your thumbs in
your back pockets.
6) Holding your hands in front of you. This is a defensive
gesture. Instead hold yourself open and vulnerable. (You
hold yourself vulnerable because you feel no fear.) Let your
arms relax and be open. Nobody’s going to punch you, so
why do you need to block yourself?
7) Twitching your fingers or hands. When you're across the
table from someone there's a natural inclination to play with
sugar packets or straw wrappers with your fingers. Don't.
And don’t drum your fingers on the table—women hate that.
8) Touching your face when you talk. This indicates that
you’re thinking too hard, you’re indecisive, or that you feel
shy. To convey confidence, hold your hands together in a
steeple shape in front of your chest or face. (A lot of
professors do this when they are lecturing.) Another posture
that will help you when you need a huge display of
confidence is holding your hands at your hips. Cops do this
when they need to establish authority over criminal suspects.
9) Folding or crossing your arms in front of you. On rare
occasions it is possible to fold your arms in an alpha fashion
(watch Brad Pitt in the movie Fight Club for a good
demonstration of this), but as a general rule, avoid it.
10) Rigid or hunched posture. An alpha male has a relaxed
posture, whether he’s standing or sitting. Loosen up and
spread out.
11) Looking down. The alpha man holds his head high. It
shows zest. Looking down at the floor telegraphs “loser.”
Keep your chin up. Expose your neck—don’t worry,
nobody’s going to choke you! Look at the person you’re
talking to; remember what I said about using your eyes.
12) Nervous facial gestures such as lip licking, pursing your
lips, twitching your nose, and biting your lips. An alpha male
has a relaxed face and mouth because he fears no one.
13) Excessive smiling. Studies of primates have shown that
beta males will smile as a way to signal their harmlessness
to stronger males. Beta humans smile to show they’re not a
threat. The alpha male, however, only smiles when there is
something to smile about. And yes—he can be a threat.
14) Walking fast as part of your normal walk. Instead, walk
a little slower than normal, almost as if you’re swaggering.
You’re alpha—no one’s chasing you and you’re not rushing
to please anyone else. If you’re not in a hurry to get
somewhere, walk like you’re relaxed and confident. Think: “I
am the man. I can make any woman happy.”
15) Walking only with your legs. Don’t be afraid to move
your torso and arms. Try this: walk as if you’d just had a
massive success and felt on top of the world. Watch what
you do with your body. You may find yourself moving your
arms along with your shoulders and having a slight bounce
in your step. Now, do that all the time.
16) Slouching. You don’t have to stand uncomfortably ramrod
straight, but you should have your shoulders back. Watch
Brad Pitt in any of his movies for examples of how to
comfortably hold your back straight. (I keep bringing Brad
Pitt up because he provides an excellent example of what
good body language looks like. Also watch George Clooney.
For fans of older movies, check out Sean Connery in From
Russia With Love and Rock Hudson in Pillow Talk.)
17) Blinking a lot. Instead blink your eyes slowly. Don't close
your eyes in discomfort. Just let your eyelids relax. In fact,
let them droop a bit. Don't be bug-eyed.
18) Shifting your eyes back and forth when you speak.
That’s very beta. When you’re in a conversation and you’re
doing the talking, gaze at the other person’s face.
Nonverbally, this communicates that that you say is
important and worth listening to.
19) Holding too much eye contact when the other person
speaks. Ignore the dating advice books that tell you to hold
non-stop eye contact. Non-stop eye contact makes you look
needy, socially retarded, and, frankly, like a weirdo. Instead
let your eyes blur and then gaze at her eyes. Look through
her rather than at her. From extensive testing, I've found
that gazing at a woman about two-thirds of the time is
optimal. By the way, only hold the gaze when she's telling
you something genuinely interesting. Otherwise, focus on
other stuff like her breasts, her hair, things going on around
you, etc.
20) Being uncomfortable with your eyes. The bottom line is
that your eyes should be comfortable, relaxed, assertive,
and sexual.
21) Looking down or to the side before answering a
woman’s question. If you do need to look away before
answering in order to think, then look up and to the side.
Studies have shown that this displays more confidence.
22) Being afraid to touch a woman, and thus being nontouching.
Be confident about it when you touch women--
any nervousness at all can be fatal for your relations with
her. Be alpha and physically move her when you need to.
Hold her hand to lead her around, etc. Be gentle—if you
use excessive pressure, you reveal your insecurity. (Since
you’re alpha, of course she will follow you, so there’s no
need to be anything other than playful and tender.) It's
natural to touch others, as when you're emphasizing a point.
So let the love flow!
23) Turning your head fast when someone wants your
attention. Instead use the movements that you would when
you’re at home—slow and relaxed. You’re not at anyone’s
beck and call. You’re alpha, remember?
24) Using long, convoluted sentences. Alphas keep it short
and to the point. If you’re tempted to use long sentences,
break them up.
what city are you from?
