Asperger's in High School

[tp5k]

This has probably been discussed before, and if there's a current thread discussing it feel free to link me and delete this thread.

Anyway, Asperger's. I've done much research and experimentation with elements of this syndrome, since I found out a few years ago that I indeed had it. My parents chose not to tell me until they found it necessary after a bad social experience (including a fight) at a summer camp. From there I really started to wonder about myself- would it get better, would I be doomed for life socially, what would become of me for instance. Also, Asperger's if you didn't know, could be referred to as perhaps, "social dyslexia" where it's difficult for me to tell my social rights from wrongs, difficult for me to react in the best potential way, and difficult to talk to others in general. Also looking into someone's eyes is like looking death in the face- it's hard to explain, but anyone with Asperger's will tell you the same thing.

So on to the problem at hand. Even though I have Asperger's, I'm still a guy in high school, and I have needs and wants out of high school. I'm trying to gain a wider range of friends and be more socially effective, since I'll need those skills when I head of to college and later on in high school. One of my biggest goals is a girlfriend- someone who can keep me going and be there for me, and I can confide in, because during adolescent years, things get difficult sometimes, not only in grades, but with parents too- especially mine. Touchy stuff, yes, but please. Anyway, the whole thing with Asperger's has been crippling to my game, and I've been trying to work through it on my own, but I still prove to be incredibly awkward and maybe sort of boring (although I don't like to say that about myself). I know that most of this forum is dedicated to "game" concepts, but nobody really considers social disorders like Asperger's (actually, it's autistic, but I'll leave the details to Google). So, if you guys have had experience with Asperger's, perhaps even may have it, lend me a helping hand if you don't mind. All of you seem pretty nice and chill on this forum, so I'm hoping everyone will have an open mind. Ask me more questions about my personality tendencies if you need to characterize me more, because that stuff is hard to fit in one post. Thanks in advance.

[NorwegianDJ]

sosuave ( . ) net/forum/showthread.php?t=182622&highlight=novaknight

If you can see that link, then check it out. Remmove the ( ), which I included just to make sure the link is posted. It's a journal of someone in the same situation as you. He pushed through major boundaries, but he didn't go the last mile before he left. Im expecting him back within a few months. I'm sure you can identify and learn from his experiences.

[canadiankid]

I think you can learn if your willing to. My sister has Asperger's syndrome and my mom is a special needs teacher so I know quite a bit about it. It will be tougher for you than most, but just like anything if you persevere and want it bad enough you can do it. I'd recommend reading up a lot on being better socially first, then on the making moves with girls part.

[Amb1valence]

I agree with canadiankid. How bad is it? Judging from your post you seem like a pretty chill dude lol. There's a couple guys with aspergers who work with me at the grocery store and they can get pretty annoying sometimes hahah. But I'm sure it's different from everybody and I agree, I think it's one of those things that you can overcome if you work at it steadily enough. Don't think you can't do it, that's the biggest thing to remember. You might feel like you're disadvantaged and that you might never get to the level you want to be at but i say fuck that, and you should too, because we both know you'll get there.

And parents suck. Idk what your situation is like but it might be something like mine or worse, if that's the case then please just hold out until you're older. The thing about rents is you can't do much about them at this age, except fly the coop when you reach the point where you can do that, and once that happens, holy shit you'll be happy lol believe me. Until then, just make the best of what you've got and grin and bear it even though it sucks.

[tp5k]

Thanks- I generally try to be a pretty cool guy, and I'm seen that way by others mostly. I've already made some progress overcoming some of the lesser aspects of Asperger's and keeping the good things about Asperger's. I'm especially trying to work on small talk and joining conversations/starting conversations that aren't so much about school work and more about stuff outside of school, because if I only talk about school, I'm seen as just a "study buddy" and nothing outside of that. I want to add more to that perception of me- I want to be someone who everyone can talk to AND get help for school work from (got the latter part covered though).

[Contempt]

I used to know i kid with asperger's, i dont know much about it or how you can work through it though :/

My personal, uneducated advice would be just keep doing what your doing. I mean you sound like a really chill guy as someone above said, and it sounds like your taking this shit head on and trying to get out there more which, incredibly, is alot more than alot of guys who don't even have an excuse to not be socially adept do. Congratulations your 1 step ahead of the pack bro Hit me up anytime on the forum's chat or via PM, i homeschooled for like 8 years so when i got back to highschool i was awkward as shit and didnt know what was going on so i feel for you man.

I used to be that "study buddy guy" and i constantly felt like in social situations or in conversations about things i was constantly "trying" and "seeking approval". The only time i was happy was when i got positive reinforcement from other people at school. How the responded to what i said and who i was dictated how good/shitty my day was. It took a bit of time but i over came it. I guess what i'm trying to do here is see if you feel this way so maybe i could give you some tips that helped me out if that happens to be the case.

[tp5k]

That's one of Asperger's benefits actually- I'm really good at not giving a fuck, which, as I've learned is pretty important. However, girls kind of come as an exception to this, as I am very shy about approaching ones 8.5 or higher. There's this 10 in my chemistry class who's really nice and friendly (at least from what I've observed, but we've talked before). at this point i know that I'm in a kind of "ask him if there's something school-related I need help with" relationship with her, but I want to escalate to a friend level where we talk about everything. Gonna try to break that barrier on Monday, and if it doesn't work, I'll have to engage my "idgaf" countermeasures. And I feel like I have enough confidence right now to not let others judge the outcome of my day. Anyway, I'm going to go for it tomorrow. Wish me luck. Hopefully she shows up 0_o