Post by jime307 on Apr 7, 2012 4:43:01 GMT -5
Sorry for the long post but this is a very serious issue in my town and it will be harder to get my point across without giving a fair amount of background
Alright so obviously partying is a huge part of my highschool scene here. I can literally count on one hand the people in my school that don't smoke weed. I live in a little mountain town with a lot of ski bums and parents that smoke and stuff so it's really all about partying here.
Now here's my issue: I don't like to party... at least not anymore.
Freshman year I was literally smoking/getting stoned every day usually like 2-3 times a day at least. I would usually wake n' bake a bowl or 2 then take a firecracker to school and eat that for lunch then smoke as much weed as possible after school . and I'd party and drink on the weekends
About 3/4 freshman year I got like physically sick of the effects of weed and so quit that shit cold turkey and was clean and got mad cut at the rock gym for like 6months but then someone offered to sell me an eighth so I was like fuck it then started smoking and partying constantly again.
I was feeling like shit pretty much constantly like sick, no confidence, put on fairly good about of bodyfat (not cut) and was basically feelin bad I was spending between $50-100 on weed alone per week and more on alcohol
I got arrested right after christmas break with my dealer. Apparently my asshole vice principal (who used to be literally addicted to crack/cocaine and smoked large quantities of weed) saw me pick up a bag and roll a j with my dealer in a grocer parking lot ( in our high mind we parked directly in front of him without looking around at all. ) so he told the school cop and me and my dealer who was in my school both got cited and he got in even deeper shit.
As wierd as it sounds I actually was glad I got arrested it was an excuse not to smoke or drink and so I went to court got put on "diversion" (like juvenile one time probation with no permanent record) and did the other shit which included getting an evaluation for being put into a drug class (rehab) and I was totally honest in the interview, not bullshitting like a lot of other people. I was actually suprised when I got put immediatly in the level 2 class intensive outpatient twice a week for 2 hours.
I went through that doing a bunch of exercise, making the best of it and getting cut again. I completed the program fully in august with a 100% true determination to stay clean but was still chilling with people that were smoking/ drinking/ partying a lot and so about 2 weeks after getting off I was smoking weed again not as much at first, but then every day again before, at lunch (ability to go off campus and blaze as a junior) and afterschool. I spent about $100 - $250 a week on weed alone at this time
I was actually in a play and while I only went to 2 rehearsals stoned I did every show blazed out of my mind, in the middle of which my dad whom i hadn't talked to in a long time reappeared in time for my birthday (but that's something else) and I learned he was a hardcore stoner that now grows medical marijuana in CO ( yeah weird re-introduction)
On november 20th 2011 I was coming home from work ( i think ) with one of my bros who worked there too and we'd just smoked about a quarter and had half an ounce left on us when we got pulled over, it was obvious to the cop that we were stoned as fuck and my bro max freaked out and told him we were high so we both got cited and I was like "fuck I'm so done for now"
I got ready for court but the judicial gods were smiling upon me and instead of going to adult circuit court and being tried as an adult and likely serving time in a boys corection facility with two charges appearing on my permanent record i was sent to juvenile district court which could mean harsher punishments but no chance of charges appearing on my record. I got a fairly easy sentence of 1 yr supervised probation and yadda yadda back to rehab this time in lvl. 3 high intensive outpatient 3 days a week 2 hours each.
I've been working through this program since then... but I'm still being a dumbass. I really want to be clean but literally everone I know is still pressuring me to drink ( and now smoke cigarettes which make me sick to my stomach ) and shit on the weekends and be like " yo jim you're gonna be blazin right when you get off righ bro? "
I've still been going to ocassional parties and hanging out with the same stoner crew (most of them are actually on proby now and in my drug program) who aren't willing to change at all and want to keep using full force.
But I feel super shitty about what I'm doing and I feel like I'm really fucking myself over. I know if I get caught again I will go to jail. no excuses even considered.
these last 2 weeks are our spring break here and my best friend has been throwing parties every night and
I convinced this hb 9 who doesn't party much and her/my 2 hb 8 friends who do party quite a bit ( one is in my rehab class ) to come chill and party with us and we had a very small amount of alcohol
( I was only very very lightly buzzed we had so little although I have a very high tolerance ) but long story short led to my hb 9 (and one of my hb 8 friends) to start puking and I literally stayed up the entire night with not even a little sleep taking care of her making sure she's not puking on my bros floor ( he was taking care of her other friend who only puked a few times then passed out ) and trying to keep her VERY horny other friend from trying to convince us to have a threesome and to keep her fucking clothes on regardless of the fact hb 9 was puking and I'll be honest I was very tempted just to leave hb 9 alone and fuck her but hb 8 had a boyfriend and hb9 was very insistent that she didn't fuck anyone and that if anyone was going to fuck me it would be her.
Eventually hb 8 ( the horny one ) passed out actually like 2 mins after i convinced her to sit down and then hb 9 fell asleep on my chest in only her underwear because her clothes were wet from puking outside in the snow ( yay ski towns ) and so I sat there the rest of the night helping her back and forth the the designated puke bucket at intervals and getting her water and shit and generally feeling super bad for having brought her to that situation which neither of us were really comfortable in.
This morning she was still not feeling good but I had promised the hb8s i would give them a ride home at 9 so I got my bro max to give them a ride home while I took care of HB9.
HB9 and I talked about it and we made a promise/ deal with each other that we would make sure that neither of us would let the other keep doing this I learned she felt just as bad about partying as I did and like me did it because of social pressure and because she didn't have any friends that didn't drink or smoke. We agreed that no matter what that we couldn't party and that if either of us saw the other getting ready to go party or partying to remind them that we are being dumbasses and that we need to stop or that we would hang out together instead of partying and do stuff that wasn't related to that. We agreed to have each others backs and as weird as it feels to say that it feels good to know there's at least one person who's interested in staying clean.
As I said before I can literally count the people on one hand that don't smoke/drink ( Even AFCs and mega nerds and the super intelligent kids and every social scale )
When I'm partying I'm literally at the top of the school social scale (because I have high tolerance for drugs and alcohol and would always throw down money for the purchase of drugs and alcohol ) but when I'm sober and not partying I drop a few steps to right below all the highest value kids and although I can still mingle with them I'm not really as highly valued as I would be if I was using drugs or alcohol.
Does anyone else have any issues like this? literally I'm at the end of a dead end road and I know if I keep partying I will end up a valueless loser as an adult ( alcoholic or narcotic addict ) or in jail for a long fucking time. The entire social system of my school has to do with partying or using drugs and alcohol and I know that for my there not a single thing about using them that makes them a good choice for me, I know this hb9 has my back for them time being but I don't know what will happen if that falls through so seriously is there a way to remain at the top of my social scale without being a drunken/high retard?
Alright so obviously partying is a huge part of my highschool scene here. I can literally count on one hand the people in my school that don't smoke weed. I live in a little mountain town with a lot of ski bums and parents that smoke and stuff so it's really all about partying here.
Now here's my issue: I don't like to party... at least not anymore.
Freshman year I was literally smoking/getting stoned every day usually like 2-3 times a day at least. I would usually wake n' bake a bowl or 2 then take a firecracker to school and eat that for lunch then smoke as much weed as possible after school . and I'd party and drink on the weekends
About 3/4 freshman year I got like physically sick of the effects of weed and so quit that shit cold turkey and was clean and got mad cut at the rock gym for like 6months but then someone offered to sell me an eighth so I was like fuck it then started smoking and partying constantly again.
I was feeling like shit pretty much constantly like sick, no confidence, put on fairly good about of bodyfat (not cut) and was basically feelin bad I was spending between $50-100 on weed alone per week and more on alcohol
I got arrested right after christmas break with my dealer. Apparently my asshole vice principal (who used to be literally addicted to crack/cocaine and smoked large quantities of weed) saw me pick up a bag and roll a j with my dealer in a grocer parking lot ( in our high mind we parked directly in front of him without looking around at all. ) so he told the school cop and me and my dealer who was in my school both got cited and he got in even deeper shit.
As wierd as it sounds I actually was glad I got arrested it was an excuse not to smoke or drink and so I went to court got put on "diversion" (like juvenile one time probation with no permanent record) and did the other shit which included getting an evaluation for being put into a drug class (rehab) and I was totally honest in the interview, not bullshitting like a lot of other people. I was actually suprised when I got put immediatly in the level 2 class intensive outpatient twice a week for 2 hours.
I went through that doing a bunch of exercise, making the best of it and getting cut again. I completed the program fully in august with a 100% true determination to stay clean but was still chilling with people that were smoking/ drinking/ partying a lot and so about 2 weeks after getting off I was smoking weed again not as much at first, but then every day again before, at lunch (ability to go off campus and blaze as a junior) and afterschool. I spent about $100 - $250 a week on weed alone at this time
I was actually in a play and while I only went to 2 rehearsals stoned I did every show blazed out of my mind, in the middle of which my dad whom i hadn't talked to in a long time reappeared in time for my birthday (but that's something else) and I learned he was a hardcore stoner that now grows medical marijuana in CO ( yeah weird re-introduction)
On november 20th 2011 I was coming home from work ( i think ) with one of my bros who worked there too and we'd just smoked about a quarter and had half an ounce left on us when we got pulled over, it was obvious to the cop that we were stoned as fuck and my bro max freaked out and told him we were high so we both got cited and I was like "fuck I'm so done for now"
I got ready for court but the judicial gods were smiling upon me and instead of going to adult circuit court and being tried as an adult and likely serving time in a boys corection facility with two charges appearing on my permanent record i was sent to juvenile district court which could mean harsher punishments but no chance of charges appearing on my record. I got a fairly easy sentence of 1 yr supervised probation and yadda yadda back to rehab this time in lvl. 3 high intensive outpatient 3 days a week 2 hours each.
I've been working through this program since then... but I'm still being a dumbass. I really want to be clean but literally everone I know is still pressuring me to drink ( and now smoke cigarettes which make me sick to my stomach ) and shit on the weekends and be like " yo jim you're gonna be blazin right when you get off righ bro? "
I've still been going to ocassional parties and hanging out with the same stoner crew (most of them are actually on proby now and in my drug program) who aren't willing to change at all and want to keep using full force.
But I feel super shitty about what I'm doing and I feel like I'm really fucking myself over. I know if I get caught again I will go to jail. no excuses even considered.
these last 2 weeks are our spring break here and my best friend has been throwing parties every night and
I convinced this hb 9 who doesn't party much and her/my 2 hb 8 friends who do party quite a bit ( one is in my rehab class ) to come chill and party with us and we had a very small amount of alcohol
( I was only very very lightly buzzed we had so little although I have a very high tolerance ) but long story short led to my hb 9 (and one of my hb 8 friends) to start puking and I literally stayed up the entire night with not even a little sleep taking care of her making sure she's not puking on my bros floor ( he was taking care of her other friend who only puked a few times then passed out ) and trying to keep her VERY horny other friend from trying to convince us to have a threesome and to keep her fucking clothes on regardless of the fact hb 9 was puking and I'll be honest I was very tempted just to leave hb 9 alone and fuck her but hb 8 had a boyfriend and hb9 was very insistent that she didn't fuck anyone and that if anyone was going to fuck me it would be her.
Eventually hb 8 ( the horny one ) passed out actually like 2 mins after i convinced her to sit down and then hb 9 fell asleep on my chest in only her underwear because her clothes were wet from puking outside in the snow ( yay ski towns ) and so I sat there the rest of the night helping her back and forth the the designated puke bucket at intervals and getting her water and shit and generally feeling super bad for having brought her to that situation which neither of us were really comfortable in.
This morning she was still not feeling good but I had promised the hb8s i would give them a ride home at 9 so I got my bro max to give them a ride home while I took care of HB9.
HB9 and I talked about it and we made a promise/ deal with each other that we would make sure that neither of us would let the other keep doing this I learned she felt just as bad about partying as I did and like me did it because of social pressure and because she didn't have any friends that didn't drink or smoke. We agreed that no matter what that we couldn't party and that if either of us saw the other getting ready to go party or partying to remind them that we are being dumbasses and that we need to stop or that we would hang out together instead of partying and do stuff that wasn't related to that. We agreed to have each others backs and as weird as it feels to say that it feels good to know there's at least one person who's interested in staying clean.
As I said before I can literally count the people on one hand that don't smoke/drink ( Even AFCs and mega nerds and the super intelligent kids and every social scale )
When I'm partying I'm literally at the top of the school social scale (because I have high tolerance for drugs and alcohol and would always throw down money for the purchase of drugs and alcohol ) but when I'm sober and not partying I drop a few steps to right below all the highest value kids and although I can still mingle with them I'm not really as highly valued as I would be if I was using drugs or alcohol.
Does anyone else have any issues like this? literally I'm at the end of a dead end road and I know if I keep partying I will end up a valueless loser as an adult ( alcoholic or narcotic addict ) or in jail for a long fucking time. The entire social system of my school has to do with partying or using drugs and alcohol and I know that for my there not a single thing about using them that makes them a good choice for me, I know this hb9 has my back for them time being but I don't know what will happen if that falls through so seriously is there a way to remain at the top of my social scale without being a drunken/high retard?
