Post by Alek on Dec 5, 2008 23:16:33 GMT -5
Calibration - Is knowing how to respond in a situation (in this case we will be talking about verbals and non verbals). Basically knowing the Pings And Pongs of conversation, and how to respond back to them.
Replicating Friendliness:
If a girl is being friendly to you (paying attention to you, saying hi, complimenting you - She is giving you value) You be friendly back (give her value) but give her a little more positive energy than she gave you. Someways of acknowledging her friendliness could be: address her, playfully tease her (must be done playfully), you could thank her, or say hi back.
Basically if she gives you an ioi of any sort (doesn't have to be an attraction ioi) you give her an ioi back - replicating her friendliness towards you.
But here is a question? Isn't teasing an IOD? Yes! But if it is done playfully and smiling with the right tonality, it shows that you aren't serious, it brings fun value and shows that you are friendly.
Examples:
Bad: You open, girl says hi, you say "I have to get back to my friends in a sec..." And continue.
Good: You open, girl says hi, you say "hello!, I have to get back to my friends in a sec..."And continue.
The first example is BAD because she gives you an ioi/value (hi) And you respond with an Iod.
The Second example is good because she says hi, you replicate her friendliness by saying hi back, while giving more fun energy, then throwing in an iod.
Teasing[/u]
When ever you tease, it MUST be done playfully, calibrated with a smile and a fun tonality...otherwise itll come off bad, and can hurt you. When ever you tease, you should snip and stack (cut the current conversational thread, and start a new one - if there is a conversational thread in play)
Her IOIS and How To Respond
Kino IOI in Attraction - If she touches you, just act normal and unaffected by it. Dont replicate it. If she touches you for more then a few seconds, then you can say "Hey hands off the merchandise, this shit aint free...$5 bucks everytime you touch".
Kino IOI in Comfort - If she touches you, just act normal and unaffected. Do replicate it, but be the first one that ends it.
Verbal IOI's - "I like you" or "You are soo hot" You respond "Thank You" or you can tease her "I like you too...in a little sister sort of way" and snip and stack.
Passive IOI's - (The nonverbals) Don't do anything, just note that she is into you.
She Works for you - (read below on "Chase Theory" to fully understand this one) You reward her. But, you don't need to reward her right away. Instead you can do a takeaway, then a directive (you can do this a few times before giving her the IOI, the more she works the higher her buying temp. - the better) then after she works give her a big ioi.
Chase Cycle:[/u] The chase cycle, is a series of actions that take place, to get a girl to invest in you more, and raises her buying temp. (gets her to chase you). This is very similar to "Bait, Hook, Reel, Release" But it is done in every phase not just A3 (according to the m3 model). What this is is this:
1. You do a take away (ex. lean back, and cross your arms)
2. You give the girl a directive (ex. If you could name 3 qualities about yourself that would make me want to get to know you better, and it can't be about your looks, what would they be?) - NOTE: It doesn't have to be a qualifying question, it could be something as simple as getting you a glass of water, or picking up a pen.
3. She works
4. You reward her for her efforts (give her an ioi)
5. Do a take away
NOTE: You DONT have to reward her right after she works, instead cycle through the cycle a few times, then give her a big IOI. The more she works, the higher her buying temp. the better
Calibrating IOI's[/u]
I don't suggest doing this (in terms of attraction ioi's) because it shows that she won you over easily, and you could lose attraction. Instead you can:
- Give her an ioi then calibrate it with an iod.
- Use chase cycle to reward her (give her an ioi)
- You could even give her an iod, then calibrate it with an ioi.
Example: She gives you an ioi, you then hug her, then push her away and say "thats all you get"
Example: She touches you (ioi). Look at something other then her (pretend to get distracted) Then your head follows (takeaway). You say "If you could be anything in the world with out any chance of failure, what would you be" (directive). She answers (works). You say "Omg really, thats awesome! (reward).
Example: She gives you an ioi, you say "I hate you...get your ass over here your lovely"
Calibrating IOD's[/u]
Shit Tests
In order to pass a shit test, you must stay positive, nonreactive, unaffected, in your own world. And then you start a thread after you pass it. Your response should never fall into her frame. You want to reply to her as if she is being amusing, and your response amuses you even more.
"Never say anything that doesn’t add to your own reality"
"Whatever you say may also add to her reality but that is optional"
Never answer a shit test logically:
Her: "Why are you looking at me"
You: "Um..I was just...
There are tons of ways to handle shit tests, here are some of my favorite ones: (Credit Mehow)
1 Agree and then turn it into a joke -
She: “Do you say this to all the girls?”
You: “Totally, you are the 5124th woman I have said this to . . .
tonight.”
She: “Where are your friends?”
You: ”I . . . am the CAT lady. I don’t have any friends.”
This one is a variant where you first make a joke then agree.
She: “Are you trying to hit on me?”
You: “Yup, you totally caught me!” and gently hit her on the
shoulder.
2. Turn it into a qualification -
She: “Are you using some sort of “method” on me?”
You: “Awww, that is so cute . . . you know I like feisty girls so here
you are acting like one.”
She: “What is with the scarf?”
You: “You are so . . . feisty . . . I love you come here.”And hug.*
3. Use a “Default Reframe.” These are similar to the qualification ones. They work regardless of what she says. They are not qualifications though. Here they are listed without sample tests:**
a “Daddy decides.”
b “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.”
c “I’ll be the judge of that.”
4. Tease Her -
She: “I don’t like your shoes.”
You: “You are ... the cutest ... space alien I’ve met all night.”
5. Use “Non-Reactive Phrases.” In this technique, just say some fact that doesn’t make any logical sense. Her mind usually goes for a loop and she starts chasing the nonsense thread.
She: some lame negative whatever
You: “The capital of France is Jupiter.”
She: “So where are you girlfriends tonight?”
You: “Three plus seven equals seventy-two.”
All of those shit test handlers convey that you are positive, fun, unaffected, living in your own world, non reactive. Any phrase that conveys that (like the shit test handlers) is known as "explicit positive subcommunication" (EPS)
Differ Shit Tests to IODS[/u]
First thing you have to do is figure out if it is a shit test or an IOD. If you can't tell, then treat it as a shit test. If it is mildly negative then it is a shit test, anything more is an IOD.
How To Handle IODS[/u]
Verbal IOD From Group - For example: "Go away!"
1. Eps, such as any tease or shit test handler technique noted above.
2. Ignore her, and cut to a new thread. Deliver the new thread to the rest of the group. Start addressing her again when she behaves a bit. Do this as if you got distracted from her (as if her friends all of the sudden got VERY interesting)
Ex. She: “Go away!”
You: “2+9 =54 (to her) . . . get this (snip and stack to rest of group)”
Verbal IOD-One on One -
1. EPS
2. Lean back, look around for a bit as if she is losing you and you are getting distracted, then go into a new thread that you start with, “That reminds me . . . ”
Body Language IOD-Group - This is stuff like she start to turn away from you or look around or appear like she is losing interest without her saying anything:
Don’t do anything as a direct response to her. Just note that your
game is losing that girl so you probably need to increase the energy
towards the group to bring her back in. Do not snip and stick in this
case.
Body Language IOD-One on One -
Continue doing whatever it is you were doing but respond to her
body language IOD with an equal one to yours. For example, if she
starts to lean away, then you start acting like maybe you are a little
bored. Do not snip and stack in this case
Kino IOD-Group -This applies only to kino initiated by you. This is when she starts to end the kino before you want her to when you initiate it or prevents you from doing it the first place.
1 Stop initiating the kino as if nothing happened. Pay less attention to her. Do not snip and stack.
2 Ignore her physically and verbally until she works a bit to get your
attention back.
Kino IOD-One on One - This applies only to kino initiated by you. This is when she starts to end the kino or prevents you from doing it the first place.
1 Stop initiating the kino as if nothing happened and at the same time EPS but make 100% sure that she knows that you just got distracted. No need to snip and stack unless you need to go to a new thread to sub communicate distraction.
2 Ignore her physically until she works for a bit to get your attention
back.
Roll Offs[/u]
It is nice to do a roll off after a good DHV. This could mean to body rock, or to stop talking (if she re initiates its an ioi). This will also get her to chase you (chase cycle). Then you reward for talking.
Hope that helps and clears things up a bit!
- Alek
Replicating Friendliness:
If a girl is being friendly to you (paying attention to you, saying hi, complimenting you - She is giving you value) You be friendly back (give her value) but give her a little more positive energy than she gave you. Someways of acknowledging her friendliness could be: address her, playfully tease her (must be done playfully), you could thank her, or say hi back.
Basically if she gives you an ioi of any sort (doesn't have to be an attraction ioi) you give her an ioi back - replicating her friendliness towards you.
But here is a question? Isn't teasing an IOD? Yes! But if it is done playfully and smiling with the right tonality, it shows that you aren't serious, it brings fun value and shows that you are friendly.
Examples:
Bad: You open, girl says hi, you say "I have to get back to my friends in a sec..." And continue.
Good: You open, girl says hi, you say "hello!, I have to get back to my friends in a sec..."And continue.
The first example is BAD because she gives you an ioi/value (hi) And you respond with an Iod.
The Second example is good because she says hi, you replicate her friendliness by saying hi back, while giving more fun energy, then throwing in an iod.
Teasing[/u]
When ever you tease, it MUST be done playfully, calibrated with a smile and a fun tonality...otherwise itll come off bad, and can hurt you. When ever you tease, you should snip and stack (cut the current conversational thread, and start a new one - if there is a conversational thread in play)
Her IOIS and How To Respond
Kino IOI in Attraction - If she touches you, just act normal and unaffected by it. Dont replicate it. If she touches you for more then a few seconds, then you can say "Hey hands off the merchandise, this shit aint free...$5 bucks everytime you touch".
Kino IOI in Comfort - If she touches you, just act normal and unaffected. Do replicate it, but be the first one that ends it.
Verbal IOI's - "I like you" or "You are soo hot" You respond "Thank You" or you can tease her "I like you too...in a little sister sort of way" and snip and stack.
Passive IOI's - (The nonverbals) Don't do anything, just note that she is into you.
She Works for you - (read below on "Chase Theory" to fully understand this one) You reward her. But, you don't need to reward her right away. Instead you can do a takeaway, then a directive (you can do this a few times before giving her the IOI, the more she works the higher her buying temp. - the better) then after she works give her a big ioi.
Chase Cycle:[/u] The chase cycle, is a series of actions that take place, to get a girl to invest in you more, and raises her buying temp. (gets her to chase you). This is very similar to "Bait, Hook, Reel, Release" But it is done in every phase not just A3 (according to the m3 model). What this is is this:
1. You do a take away (ex. lean back, and cross your arms)
2. You give the girl a directive (ex. If you could name 3 qualities about yourself that would make me want to get to know you better, and it can't be about your looks, what would they be?) - NOTE: It doesn't have to be a qualifying question, it could be something as simple as getting you a glass of water, or picking up a pen.
3. She works
4. You reward her for her efforts (give her an ioi)
5. Do a take away
NOTE: You DONT have to reward her right after she works, instead cycle through the cycle a few times, then give her a big IOI. The more she works, the higher her buying temp. the better
Calibrating IOI's[/u]
I don't suggest doing this (in terms of attraction ioi's) because it shows that she won you over easily, and you could lose attraction. Instead you can:
- Give her an ioi then calibrate it with an iod.
- Use chase cycle to reward her (give her an ioi)
- You could even give her an iod, then calibrate it with an ioi.
Example: She gives you an ioi, you then hug her, then push her away and say "thats all you get"
Example: She touches you (ioi). Look at something other then her (pretend to get distracted) Then your head follows (takeaway). You say "If you could be anything in the world with out any chance of failure, what would you be" (directive). She answers (works). You say "Omg really, thats awesome! (reward).
Example: She gives you an ioi, you say "I hate you...get your ass over here your lovely"
Calibrating IOD's[/u]
Shit Tests
In order to pass a shit test, you must stay positive, nonreactive, unaffected, in your own world. And then you start a thread after you pass it. Your response should never fall into her frame. You want to reply to her as if she is being amusing, and your response amuses you even more.
"Never say anything that doesn’t add to your own reality"
"Whatever you say may also add to her reality but that is optional"
Never answer a shit test logically:
Her: "Why are you looking at me"
You: "Um..I was just...
There are tons of ways to handle shit tests, here are some of my favorite ones: (Credit Mehow)
1 Agree and then turn it into a joke -
She: “Do you say this to all the girls?”
You: “Totally, you are the 5124th woman I have said this to . . .
tonight.”
She: “Where are your friends?”
You: ”I . . . am the CAT lady. I don’t have any friends.”
This one is a variant where you first make a joke then agree.
She: “Are you trying to hit on me?”
You: “Yup, you totally caught me!” and gently hit her on the
shoulder.
2. Turn it into a qualification -
She: “Are you using some sort of “method” on me?”
You: “Awww, that is so cute . . . you know I like feisty girls so here
you are acting like one.”
She: “What is with the scarf?”
You: “You are so . . . feisty . . . I love you come here.”And hug.*
3. Use a “Default Reframe.” These are similar to the qualification ones. They work regardless of what she says. They are not qualifications though. Here they are listed without sample tests:**
a “Daddy decides.”
b “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.”
c “I’ll be the judge of that.”
4. Tease Her -
She: “I don’t like your shoes.”
You: “You are ... the cutest ... space alien I’ve met all night.”
5. Use “Non-Reactive Phrases.” In this technique, just say some fact that doesn’t make any logical sense. Her mind usually goes for a loop and she starts chasing the nonsense thread.
She: some lame negative whatever
You: “The capital of France is Jupiter.”
She: “So where are you girlfriends tonight?”
You: “Three plus seven equals seventy-two.”
All of those shit test handlers convey that you are positive, fun, unaffected, living in your own world, non reactive. Any phrase that conveys that (like the shit test handlers) is known as "explicit positive subcommunication" (EPS)
Differ Shit Tests to IODS[/u]
First thing you have to do is figure out if it is a shit test or an IOD. If you can't tell, then treat it as a shit test. If it is mildly negative then it is a shit test, anything more is an IOD.
How To Handle IODS[/u]
Verbal IOD From Group - For example: "Go away!"
1. Eps, such as any tease or shit test handler technique noted above.
2. Ignore her, and cut to a new thread. Deliver the new thread to the rest of the group. Start addressing her again when she behaves a bit. Do this as if you got distracted from her (as if her friends all of the sudden got VERY interesting)
Ex. She: “Go away!”
You: “2+9 =54 (to her) . . . get this (snip and stack to rest of group)”
Verbal IOD-One on One -
1. EPS
2. Lean back, look around for a bit as if she is losing you and you are getting distracted, then go into a new thread that you start with, “That reminds me . . . ”
Body Language IOD-Group - This is stuff like she start to turn away from you or look around or appear like she is losing interest without her saying anything:
Don’t do anything as a direct response to her. Just note that your
game is losing that girl so you probably need to increase the energy
towards the group to bring her back in. Do not snip and stick in this
case.
Body Language IOD-One on One -
Continue doing whatever it is you were doing but respond to her
body language IOD with an equal one to yours. For example, if she
starts to lean away, then you start acting like maybe you are a little
bored. Do not snip and stack in this case
Kino IOD-Group -This applies only to kino initiated by you. This is when she starts to end the kino before you want her to when you initiate it or prevents you from doing it the first place.
1 Stop initiating the kino as if nothing happened. Pay less attention to her. Do not snip and stack.
2 Ignore her physically and verbally until she works a bit to get your
attention back.
Kino IOD-One on One - This applies only to kino initiated by you. This is when she starts to end the kino or prevents you from doing it the first place.
1 Stop initiating the kino as if nothing happened and at the same time EPS but make 100% sure that she knows that you just got distracted. No need to snip and stack unless you need to go to a new thread to sub communicate distraction.
2 Ignore her physically until she works for a bit to get your attention
back.
Roll Offs[/u]
It is nice to do a roll off after a good DHV. This could mean to body rock, or to stop talking (if she re initiates its an ioi). This will also get her to chase you (chase cycle). Then you reward for talking.
Hope that helps and clears things up a bit!
- Alek
