The psycology of masculinity

[RMO]

At one point ill write a massive in depth article on the psychology of alpha males and becoming a man, as well as its implications of game, but for now I want this thread to be an open discussion for every bodies opinions an the matter, ranging from personal experiences to psychological theories. The point of this is to help people try to get a handle on the concept which has been totally raped in our society

Personally for me being a man is taking responsibility for your life and making the most out of it, no matter what others say. In short, dont give a fuck and have fun.

[RMO]

I recently introduced the concept of positive disintegration on Nick's Fuck Self-Improvement thread and people missed it, so heres the wiki again

"The Theory of Positive Disintegration (TPD) by Kazimierz Dąbrowski describes a theory of personality development.

Unlike mainstream psychology, Dąbrowski's theoretical framework views psychological tension and anxiety as necessary for growth. These "disintegrative" processes are therefore seen as "positive," whereas people who fail to go through positive disintegration may remain for their entire lives in a state of "primary integration." Advancing into disintegration and into the higher levels of development is predicated on having developmental potential, including overexcitabilities and above-average reactions to stimuli.

Unlike some other theories of development such as Erikson's stages of psychosocial development, it is not assumed that even a majority of people progress through all levels. TPD is not a theory of stages, and levels do not correlate with age."

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_Disintegration

In short its an idea that a psychologist had which says that our growth as people comes from anxiety and conflict and that it doesnt happen to everyone, and the higher we go in stages the more independence and self control we maintain.

Its a cool idea, esp since its reliant on tension in our lives to work, that means you have to risk your world view to improve upon it.

[slater]

My opinion a man is, like alexander has said - a person of action, unreactive, positive-dominant, present that's what I live my life around

[hoops45]

the way i see it a man just has to be able to get what he wants and protect it when he has it, whether there are obstacles in his way or not. i think the most common obstacle is fear of failure so that one is probably the most important to overcome. I also think a man shouldn't let his emotions control him, but i don't know if that's something you need to be a man, or if it's just icing on the cake.

[NorwegianDJ]

May 11, 2012 10:33:58 GMT -5 RMO said:

stop.

no one got it right, but some were close. It is a theory of personality development, or how or psyches form. It was the idea that growth happens as a result of tension and anxiety in your mind.

"Advancing into disintegration and into the higher levels of development is predicated on having developmental potential, including overexcitabilities and above-average reactions to stimuli."

So no NDJ, it has everything to do with overexcitability and stages of psychological progression, you missed the point of the theory.

But smoob was right, this is an innane discussion, I offered the concept because it could help people with tier maturation, and in the end it has more to do with nicks current attitude then the article. If you want to talk more about it i started a new thread:

highschoolpuas.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=amog&thread=6507&page=1

I did not 'miss the point', I stated that I chose to ignore it. Just cause some psychologist got on Wikipedia doesn't mean that it's all correct.

[RMO]

dude, its a theory of psycology predating the internet. you can find it on many other reputable places other then wikipedia. 2 points

1. its psycology, still so young that its not even considered a fledgling science. No theory or anything in that field is perfect or scientific by a long shot.

2. You cant choose to believe in some parts and ignore integral ones and still relate it to the theory. You can see that in your opinion of personality development that some parts make more sense to you, but you cant change the content of the theory.

this doesnt mean that i an arguing with your ideas, but the best way that i can describe this is youre arguing someone elses opinion while disagreeing with that opinion. It would just make more sense to take what you like out of the variety of theories and you own experinces and formulate your own opinion on how peoples psyches develop rather then trying to redefine another theory.

[darkpwns]

An alpha male is one who doesn't look up how to be an alpha male on the internet.....or read books on it. That would eliminate everyone on here, including me....so, hardly appropriate (because I'm an alpha mofo, even got the bumper sticker to prove it, don't know about the rest of you....).

On a more serious note. An alpha male is one who can execute and manage no matter the situation. I don't believe alpha characteristics are something that can truly be learned. I believe they are acquired through life and anything else is just a sorry imitation.


An alpha learns that the present is all that matters. The past does not dictate the future, nor does the future dictate the present. One doesn't just wake up and go "I'm going to read The Power of Now and be just like that!", instead, this is ingrained through failures and things that fell just short of expectation, as well as an iron hard frame that everything will work out in the end (without this frame, you'll just end up depressed and alone).

Of course that can probably be streamlined (at least in terms of women) by going out and approaching a crap ton of women week after week and trying your best (3 out of 5 times you'll fail, even if you are a masterful pick up artist, and when you do succeed, some will fall short of the lay and others will fall short of the LTR)

Another thing is to err a bit on the side of Id, you see something you want, go for it. Don't take the time to rationalize why you shouldn't have it (that isn't to say resort to a life of crime, although, who am I to stop you, right?).

An alpha leaps at opportunities to lead, because an alpha knows he is the most capable to do so. Because an alpha has lived, he has learned to be progressive rather than reactionary like the majority of the masses.

For me, the moment I believe I truly became an alpha, was that first fire fight. After that, what else in the world is possibly worth stressing over? What situation is more do or die (literally), and in the end, regardless of experience, I know that I can get the job done. Also as an acting NCOIC I've had to lead a whole section of people, get all kinds of things done in sometimes seemingly impossible timelines. I've got to get people ready to maybe go to their deaths. In the real world, nothing seems so urgent, and ever since I've reached that point, I feel like I've grasped this concept stronger than I ever had before (and I thought I was the damn epitome of alpha before).

Of course not everyone can get shot at and mortared and wonder if everytime they ride out in a vehicle: "Is today the day I die?"

So for the most part, you all wouldn't get it this way. My advice is to find your civilian fire fight. Take on a real leadership position (class president, step up as a leading personality on your sports team, organize large events, hell, if you have an idea, start a company).

When all that responsibility is on your shoulders, you start to realize that not much else matters. When you realize not much else matters, the value you place on things starts to dwindle, and finally once you've arranged your priorities in a way where your top priority is one in which your ability to lead plays a determining factor, you can start becoming an alpha male.


EDIT: As for an article about becoming a man.....I believe that Mandrake's article (written like two years ago) is the best version that is applicable to high school life. I don't think this forum needs another.

[RMO]

been awhile man.

agreed, except for the looking up part. I mean personnally ive always seen it has a state of mind, and some guys get it naturally and some guys have to see it other people, and some guys have to figure it out by researching it. In the end as long as you take some responsiblity and get some perspective and be a man, I dont really give a shit where you got the data, just put it into action.

Of course nothing counts for shit unless you try it in the real world and fuck up once or several dozen times. Its a mindset, you have to prove it works to yourself or no one else will notice.

[darkpwns]

Yeah, it's been a while.

I probably wouldn't have come back if I had other things to do. Most of the time it's just sitting around until some shit hits the fan.

Can't really say I'll be back all the time, I reckon I'll dip out either once I get back to the states, or when I find something to do outside the times in the gym and work.