The ego

[andersonsmith969]

I'd like to share some quotes from articles I have read on natural game that seem to tell you to have a big ego. I just want to discuss the idea of the ego and what it really is.

All these articles tell you to essentially be narcissistic, but is that really a good thing? Again, I just want a discussion.

DISCLAIMER: I'm not assuming any of these are right, or good advice. But they're all from various articles either on this site or on highschool-game.net.

From highschool-game.net/make-your-life-easy/

"You’re confidence with girls doesn’t just have to come from past experiences with girls though, it can come from you just thinking your awesome—because you mentally know that girls will naturally like awesome guys."

'You’re not wasting your Friday night, you’re the coolest motherfucker because girls aren’t such a small byproduct of your life that you’re going to go play anime video games."

From highschoolpuas.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=amog&action=display&thread=5887

"Most of game is actually self-improvement, or just being comfortable enough in your own shoes to accept that getting laid is SO FUCKING SIMPLE."

From highschool-game.net/socialcalibration/

"There’s a reason that everyone is harping on inner game all the time. If you genuinely believe you belong at the top the actions you make are going to reflect that. Think about the kind of guy who gets all the girls. He actually believes he is the fucking shit with every part of his body and his actions reflect it. Every action you make is a reflection of who you are as a person and what you believe in."

I'll be adding to this post as I get the time.

[canadiankid]

I think you are mistaking a big ego for confidence.
In my mind having a big ego is synonymous with arrogance and cockiness. Confidence is absolutely vital as those quotes state, however when you cross into narcissism and having a big ego people start to dislike you, which ruins you when it comes to high school and your social life.

"When we use the word ego, we're describing the self-serving, self-centered part of you. It's the "I" part. It's important to recognize the difference between being ego-driven and being self-confident. When you're self-confident, you know you're doing the right thing without violating the well-being of the people around you. When you're driven by your ego, you disregard everyone else."

www.bizjournals.com/sanjose/stories/1999/01/25/smallb3.html

Oh, and when it comes to "cocky & funny" there is a lot more emphasis on the funny, and never cocky without the funny. That is often misinterpreted.

[RMO]

the ego, has defined by freud and whatnot which has been translated into popular definition is the part of your psyche that connects the rest of your mind to reality. It is what fabricates all forms of enemies and obstacles, it is what gives you a centralized sense of self.

It is very powerful and very dangerous. It can, and has, taken total control of your life, and its where your excuses reside.

Im not going to go into to big of a discussion of the ego as an abstract concept, you want that, or wish to discuss that, there is already a massive discussion on that here:
highschoolpuas.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=confidence&thread=2734&page=1

I would like to clear up some misconceptions while im here

First off I dont preach natural game, becuase natural game is the same as pickup only they dont have books, they have bros. Its still the same ideas, and these so called naturals arent necessarily that amazing, they just get results. they are more likely to be authentic as well as narcissitic but thats not always the case.

I preach how to be an alpha. How to become a goddamn man. Whose confident not becuase his ego is big, but because his inner reality is congruent with his outer reality. Hes authentic, not dishonest.

Self-esteem and confidence are the flipside of egotistical narcissm. One is that your comfortable in your own shoes and you know that you can take care of yourself. The other is making everyone else responsible for that.

I wouldnt recommend content, but look up mode one, that might clear up your mind.

[Sloth]

there's a difference between believing you deserve something, and telling yourself you deserve something because you're told to. And this massively reflects your actions whether you notice or not.

[darkpwns]

May 19, 2012 11:09:11 GMT -5 Sloth said:

there's a difference between believing you deserve something, and telling yourself you deserve something because you're told to. And this massively reflects your actions whether you notice or not.

Endorsed.

[andersonsmith969]

May 19, 2012 11:09:11 GMT -5 Sloth said:

there's a difference between believing you deserve something, and telling yourself you deserve something because you're told to. And this massively reflects your actions whether you notice or not.

But isn't repetition of new beliefs a good way to get new ones? By telling yourself you're a certain way won't you eventually actually believe it? Or does only experience do that for you?

Let me give an example. I used to have horrible problems with my appearance. I used to think I was ugly and that I had disfiguring acne. I'd take what everyone said and would think they thought i was unnatractive.

then I decided that it didn't matter. I started getting into game and changed everything about myself, before even knowing about pua. By the time I picked up The Game I believed that I was attractive, even if others didn't, and I realized the difference.

It's like a dual reality. there's the reality, and then there's what you believe, and you use that belief for strength. even if that's the ego, you're controlling it, and using it. And then when people tell you you're wrong, it doesn't matter, because your ego is too powerful to be swayed.

IMO true ego is when someone is lying to themselves, and so they get all defensive and pissed of with people and dislike them, etc. I've been there, and I know plenty of other people who have been too.

And whoops, didn't see that thread. This looks like a good read, I've read a lot about ego defense mechanisms, and I'm aware that they're dangerous, but I don't think they're always bad if you're trying to change your reality.

[Sloth]

you argue that it was by thinking that you weren't ugly that made you believe it.
I would argue it was the way you accepted and became comfortable with your appearance that made you feel comfortable with it to, nothing to do with convincing yourself, it's all in how you act.

[andersonsmith969]

I'm not sure I get what you're saying, because it sounds like they're both the same thing.

[NorwegianDJ]

OP, have you seen the blueprint?

[slater]

Haha anderson its because it is the same thing, it sounds good at first, but when you think about it, its the same thing.

May 19, 2012 11:09:11 GMT -5 Sloth said:

there's a difference between believing you deserve something, and telling yourself you deserve something because you're told to. And this massively reflects your actions whether you notice or not.

I think he was trying to say that there's a difference between really deserving something and thinking you deserve something delusionally because your told that's what's supposed to happen when you do xyz. That's the same as social conditioning - Give girl flowers+buy her drink= pussy.. In your case, its pickup conditioning .. Haha "Oh no I'm not getting pussy what's going on".. Basically, if your a shitty person or like have issues it really does not matter what you do or how you think about yourself, if your actions are out of peoples comprehension, you won't get girls, well not as often as you'd like .. You've gotta have empathy, other guys and girls do not study self help, other people are social conditioned and are pretty stifled, just today I was walking in my school corridors and over heard two guys talking saying that his scared to read to the class from a book cos it feels like his saying a speech infront of every one. Some people are not going to be open minded in certain situations which put them on the spot, putting girls on the spot and influencing their flight/fight response, will always make them flight, you have to relate to them and use what you know such as being authentic, funny, social or whatever to open them up and then they will jump on your train happily, another problem with highschool dudes is that they refuse to acknowledge where they are at, or have an image of themselves or their future self which just isn't exactly true - yet, that's the only ego you have to worry about my man your mind fucking yourself. So just be humble and have empathy for others as in put yourself in their shoes and don't judge other people. Your cooler than him ? That's nice, your bigger than him or more funnier ? That's nice. Your failing to understand the basics and that's your problem, I'm pretty knowledgeable but even all this ego shit is making my head spin. Stop going around the problem like you need to add on something more, read a book, article, or understand some new concept or practice some new shit and because people say xyz right, its gonna work and you'll get your share of pussy.

[andersonsmith969]

Yeah i meant his last post didnt make sense to me, but the one you quoted does. i think the problem is more in actually getting over that difference, i.e. actually fucking believing something for yourself.

Basically the ego can control you or you can control it, and from now on i'm going to be aware of whenever it gets in my way and smash it.

[slater]

I honestly don't think ego is your problem in the context of game hey, I think you have a blind spot that you are not aware of .. dunno ey .. I just don't think a guy with a ego problem would be an 18 year old virgin and take no one to his dance, nah man if you think your ego is big you live in a box, infact, I don't even think an ego will kill your game flat dead. People ignore you, disrespect you, avoid you, but you understand this shit more than others, wtf doesn't add up what's really up man ? just an observation crossed my mind I may be way off haha

[andersonsmith969]

That's actually what I thought about and decided last night, and it really hit me this morning. If I really had a huge ego, all of the people criticizing me on this forum would have me really pissed off and saying lots of shit, and I would be making excuses and get really emotional, bla bla bla.

Anyway, plenty of successful men have egos. I think my problem is something else. but like i still dont know wtf it is because every time i come up with something it changes.

The ego can control you, yes, but it can also be a powerful tool for confidence.

[slater]

Exactly, I rate it is even irrelevant cos its not the root, the root of ego in the context of game is guys having the need to "be someone" and live up to that standard, to not harm their self image and protect it and in this case, it seems irrelevant at the moment, unless you were like getting girls already. You must go to the root my man, go to the source of your problems. Get the basics right, this ego shit is a loop its not your problem and its wasting your time. Tyler brought up this ego thing and that man is deep this is highschool you don't need to lose your ego, just be humble, if you focus on the negatives - ego, its just gonna mess with you and put you in your head, if you focus on the positives - being humble, you cut ego out the equation and have a positive mindset. Look into more natural guys like Tim, rob judge, spesh, tamer then look into alexanders stuff, your reading into self help like your a fucking unfinished project mate

[canadiankid]

Would you rather A) fuck a ton of low self confidence, easy girls for one night stands ranging from 6s to 10s, while hating women and society and trying to fuck your way to revenge or B) have a lot of awesome friends, occasionally have random hook ups with 7s to 9s and have a few long term relationships with 8s and 9s who are genuinely awesome people you enjoy spending time with.

Well to accomplish them either:

A) Just keep reading PUA, get a huge unbreakable ego that doesn't get a shit about no one. While your at it get a pink feather boa, platform shoes and latex pants then head down to LA where you go out to clubs 7 nights a week. Remember, your ego needs to be big enough that you can't get hurt by being shot down, and you KNOW your better than everyone else in the club.

B)Work on becoming a person your proud to be who is authentic and has confidence and an ego that exists but doesn't consume everyone around you. By the time your into university or a job you can make new friends easily who want to hang out with you, and possibly even before the end of high school depending on what you've done up to this point and how easily your able to become a better person. Remember to enjoy everything on the way, YOLO