I'm CONFUSED

[popay69]

Hey all!

I'm stuck at one point for about half a year and I thought that I would figure it out as I will keep dating girls and analyze our relationships.. I CANT FIGURE IT OUT.

Im 17 and a senior in HS, I started practicing pickup last year and sarged 2 times a week for atleast 4 months. I got very good and my inner-game improved also, but I couldn't base relationships from cold approach because of logistics (distance and shit)

Then as I started to hit it off with the ladies in my area and I could get any girl from my school/social circle, I started to date girls from my area and met girls only when I went out with friends etc (had some hookups from cold approaches-not relationships), and stop sarging.
BUT, the problem I had with the first girl I hooked up with is the same problem I'm still having now:

ATTRACTION FADES OUT.

I can easily establish attraction the first time we meet with good kino and sexual energy, lead and arrange a meeting like 1-2 days later, establish some rapport and Kclose at that meeting.
then, I would call/text sometimes (not more than her) for asking how she is and plan somthing together, when we get together I'm always start with a small talk and then we're making out and I build emotional connection (the only thing that lasts).
I'm taking her out to parties/BBQ etc with my friends, showing her my world and she's showing me hers

but then, ALWAYS after not more than 2 months, she tells me that she's not attracted to me anymore ("I love hanging out with you, but not this way").
they ALWAYS tell me that in the start it was great and exciting but then it faded out.

I feel that my problem is that I dont know how to take the attraction further.
I establish the first attraction with eye contact, sensual talk, sexual kino and sexual energy, in a group I'm always make good impression.

but when we pass it, and I'm still doing it (carresing her neck/legs while talking, eye contact, make her laugh, makeouts etc),

IT JUST SEEM TO NOT BE ENOUGH
(the absurd is that I NEVER had it with girls I didn't had anything with - they're always attracted to me and when I'm making a move they never resists)

[Sketch]

Oct 15, 2012 12:23:24 GMT -5 popay69 said:

I can easily establish attraction the first time we meet with good kino and sexual energy, lead and arrange a meeting like 1-2 days later

keep up the sexual energy etc the whole time. not just in the build up to the k-close. just keep it all up or she'll lose interest.

HOWEVER. To me, it would seem like even though you can pick up chicks, when you do, its not really you. So they become attracted to that. But as they see you more, you're not actually that guy that picked them up, you're a totally different person.

I'm just assuming, so i could easily be wrong. But this happens to a lot of guys because of that exact reason.

-Sketch

[Fishie/Kingdom]

Dear popay69,
I'd like to share a life lesson I recently got taught that we both fit into.

My psychology teacher, a good adult influence of mine, has told me about something about...
Inner and Outer Locusts of perspective.
Inner locusts of perspective states that a subject sees all events in their environment as consequences of their actions.
Outer locusts of perspective states that a subject see all events in their environment as fate and done onto them out of their control.

In the extremities of having one more dominate than the other...
Procrastination and deviating form truths of day to day matters fall into Outer in most cases.
Self blame for deaths and typically a higher stress level falls into Inner in most cases.

Unfortunately I have a strong Outer Locus perspective. And you're exercising an outer locus perspective as well, not saying that it's extremely dominate in you, but it more present.

We both need to be adapting to an equilibrium of both. For me to become more responsible and for you to get the girl.

I wish I could've given you the same talk she gave me, however the point is that you're more in control than you very much so think.

(Lengthy but I think we should see what's going on behind the curtains too.)

May you be blessed with countless bubbles,
~Fishie

[DanZy]

Fishie cut the intellectual act, it obvious you're anything but when you spell "locus" as locust for 3 quarters of this post. Also this is stupidly complicated and doesn't actually help.

Popay, it's very possible that your interactions become stale over time with the same girl. You seem very PUA based so that may be the major issue.

[Fishie/Kingdom]

English is my worst subject while my best is psychology.
I talke to psychology teacher today, the correct termology is...
'Introverted locusts of control'
and
'Extroverted locusts of control'

And you should be giving more intellectual input, than me, thee some sort of jester. Come on, out purform me, you'd onnly gain by trying.

[auroturtle]

It's definitely "internal" and "external" LOCUS of control

You're talking about whether insects are introverted or extroverted

[Fishie/Kingdom]

Lol, how punnny. It's a psychology term that i already explained. You can look it up if you're skeptical....

[auroturtle]

I obviously know what it is if I'm correcting you on it

[NorwegianDJ]

The flaw in psychology is not treating personality as something mallable and fluid.

[Fishie/Kingdom]

Psychology is not a linear subject. However we must use our linear perspective in numberous ways in order to break down Psychology. Just like running game, there is always an iff/or/but to every concept and then there are further exceptions to the concepts brought onto those if/or/buts. None of us can ever be 100% correct, so I'm going eject from this arguementt because this will never end.

Hope things work out for you popay69,
~fishie

[RMO]

I agree with fishie on one point:

stop trying to discuss psychology on here.

[ihop]

dude, it all comes down to the belief that you are enough for the girl. You seem like you got your shit together so there is no reason for her not to be attracted to you. Its pretty fucked up if you think that a girl doesnt like you for who you are and that you have to these little sneaky tactics to keep her attracted.

I would suggest shifting your focus from "attraction part" of the relationship to having fun in the relationship. The reason you are in a relationship with a girl is to enjoy time together, not to attract her. Focus on you being happy in a relationship. If she isnt, she isnt for you.

[popay69]

Thanks guys, you gave me some points to think about.
I'm very much into psychology too, so I know what you are talking about

I just want to make things clearer..
I'm barely using routines, my game is kinda sexual and funny with a bit of deeper level like emotional connection etc

The problem is that even though I'm being myself, it seems that when I'm just talk to the girl and open myself, I'm drawing too
much into the connection level and the attraction fades out.
I'm gonna try keep rolling the attraction even when I'm building connection and comfort ;]