Urgent help: Please reply

[bison]

Aight guys, I'm a Junior in high school and to be completely honest with you, since freshman year to now i have only gotten with around 7 girls, 5 of them were pretty hot. I know thats okay with some guys and all but i am completely NOT satisfied at all, and only one of those girls gave me head. At the beginning of this school year, I am starting to see more and more of my buds from school are getting eith new girls every week, and every other week, And a couple of them always get on me about how i never get girls and it's really been getting to me. And sure maybe a couple of you might say get a new friend cause they dicks and what not, but (to clarify) I go to a Prep school with only about 350 people in which theres barely EVER any parties, so theres not to many social circles i can surround myself with and it jut so happens that this group of guys are the ones who always gets the girls and hangs out with them all the time. So since they kept telling me i dont get girls and what not, i decided to take a stand like a month and a half ago, i've been doing a lot of research about having "game." I've learned a few things, especially from this forum. I have been going out on a limb for myself by texting, talking, and snapchating a lot of girls i like to get with. (btw snapchat is the big thing in our school so thats why I included that). But, it honestly has seem like my reputation of not getting girls and not having that much confidence has gotten around to not just the guy but the girls. And i know a lot of you are going to tell me all about getting with girls from other schools because they donbt know how non confident you are and stuff but i have. thats where i get with the girls that i have been telling you about. after reading all these articles and threads on here i figured out how you should approach, "the game," but it seems it is to late. I know it always says to not care and not worry when you get shut down by a girl you like because there are so many other ones out there, but after time and time again it gets to be really hard and extremely depressing. I start getting really depressed and mad at anyone who is around me and just not fun to be around pretty much, sololy for the reason of not getting girls. guys i realy need your help on this one. please don't just read this and ignore it. idc whether its a sentence long reply or an entire story i just need somne advice. I want to go out with a bang before graduation.

BT Merry Christmas Boys

[derekk]

will respond tomorrow when there are cliffs

[bison]

Dec 25, 2013 22:34:40 GMT -5 derekk said:

will respond tomorrow when there are cliffs

thanks man appreciate it

[amarok]

Dude. Chill the FUCK out. You're a junior and you've been with 7 girls. That's pretty damn good in my book. Stop fucking comparing yourself to other guys like they have more toys than you. Step back and look at what you're saying. You're depressed because you don't get enough girls, and you don't get enough girls because some friend says so. If you're getting so depressed, you need to look at why you're putting "game" so high in your priorities. Getting girls shouldn't be something that get's you depressed, it should be fun. Why do you care so much what this friend says? Why do you think it's impacting you so much when you've gotten 7 girls, and 5 hot ones? You need to stop caring what other people think. If you're focusing on you and they're focusing on you, where's all the energy? On you. Where is there no energy? On them. Why? If they can't put energy and focus on themselves, why should you listen to them?

[derekk]

i'm bored so I read it.


sounds like you need to clear your mind a little bit and relax. You're taking this stuff way too seriously.

taken from one of my older posts:

First off, start meditating A LOT. you need to clear your mind up. otherwise, it's going to take you a lot longer to get back into a normal mental state.

Second. Stay away from ANY AND ALL PICKUP RELATED MATERIAL FOR A WEEK. This is INCLUDING HSG FORUMS.

Third. YOU DONT FUCKING APPROACH IN HIGH SCHOOL. What are you going to do, say "hi I thought you were cute and I wanted to come talk to you?

hell no, and if you did, it would come out really fucking cheezy and whimpy judging by the way you're beating yourself up right now.

keep shit simple. all you need to do is say hi, what's your name?, make eye contact with her and smile or stick your tongue out.

come on man. If my goal was to approach girls at the start of school, then, just like you, I would be beating myself up right now.


get busy with other shit that does not involve girls too. there is no reason for you to be spending day and night thinking about how to "approach". Pickup trap your mind inside of a tiny little box if you arent careful.



one more thing to add: If you want to skip the first two things I said, simply destroy your ego by doing something massively embarrassing that you can't escape.

edit: or if you want, you can spend weeks looking up videos on "how to approach" "how to get rid of 'approach anxiety'", post threads asking for help, waste time "approaching" girls to get the time etc.

edit: Some of this is unrelated to your question, but you get what I'm sayin

[bison]

Dec 25, 2013 23:13:18 GMT -5 amarok said:

Dude. Chill the FUCK out. You're a junior and you've been with 7 girls. That's pretty damn good in my book. Stop fucking comparing yourself to other guys like they have more toys than you. Step back and look at what you're saying. You're depressed because you don't get enough girls, and you don't get enough girls because some friend says so. If you're getting so depressed, you need to look at why you're putting "game" so high in your priorities. Getting girls shouldn't be something that get's you depressed, it should be fun. Why do you care so much what this friend says? Why do you think it's impacting you so much when you've gotten 7 girls, and 5 hot ones? You need to stop caring what other people think. If you're focusing on you and they're focusing on you, where's all the energy? On you. Where is there no energy? On them. Why? If they can't put energy and focus on themselves, why should you listen to them?

that was an amazing answer, i really appreciate your response because it makes so much sense to me. i am overthinking it, i am letting other people get to me, and yes, i do need to focus on whats really important. I am certainly going to start putting all of these things to practice, but, i do have to say one thing. I am lowering down from the totem pole and am definitely not the alpha man because i do not live up to my friends nor half of the schools standards. And you can't say that your self esteem wouldnt be lowered if you dont have any respect when you're around your friends and classmates. What im asking is, what can i do to change thi an how can i gain a little respect because the way i look at it, the only way to do this is by getting MORE girls. And i am definitely going to start looking at it like getting girls is just for fun, because it is, your definitely right, but it really does help me with the way i live. When i do get with a girl, i am really happy and have a lot of energy, ya know, i feel like im kinda just on top of the world. (figure of speech) What do you suggest?

[bison]

Dec 25, 2013 23:40:14 GMT -5 derekk said:

i'm bored so I read it.


sounds like you need to clear your mind a little bit and relax. You're taking this stuff way too seriously.

taken from one of my older posts:

First off, start meditating A LOT. you need to clear your mind up. otherwise, it's going to take you a lot longer to get back into a normal mental state.

Second. Stay away from ANY AND ALL PICKUP RELATED MATERIAL FOR A WEEK. This is INCLUDING HSG FORUMS.

Third. YOU DONT FUCKING APPROACH IN HIGH SCHOOL. What are you going to do, say "hi I thought you were cute and I wanted to come talk to you?

hell no, and if you did, it would come out really fucking cheezy and whimpy judging by the way you're beating yourself up right now.

keep shit simple. all you need to do is say hi, what's your name?, make eye contact with her and smile or stick your tongue out.

come on man. If my goal was to approach girls at the start of school, then, just like you, I would be beating myself up right now.


get busy with other shit that does not involve girls too. there is no reason for you to be spending day and night thinking about how to "approach". Pickup trap your mind inside of a tiny little box if you arent careful.



one more thing to add: If you want to skip the first two things I said, simply destroy your ego by doing something massively embarrassing that you can't escape.

edit: or if you want, you can spend weeks looking up videos on "how to approach" "how to get rid of 'approach anxiety'", post threads asking for help, waste time "approaching" girls to get the time etc.

edit: Some of this is unrelated to your question, but you get what I'm sayin


yes, does meditating really help? also, i know you said that some of the stuff is unrelated, but my problem really isnt approaching girls, at a party i will definitely go talk to her and try to get with her unless its a girl i really really like then i get a little nervous, but a lot of the time it doesn't work, im confindent, above averge looking guy, but still nothing. What im saying is, i do beleieve it is my reputation of the fact that i hgavent been getting with that many girls over the past couple of years. 

[derekk]

Yes, it actually does help. I honestly had no faith that meditating would work, but I was wrong once I tried it.

I did it for a few days straight for 10-20 minutes straight each morning, and there was a huge difference in the way I interacted with people, specifically gals. I was able to ramble on without even thinking, and RANDOMLY be able to crack jokes without even thinking about them. It puts me into this "mindless, retarded-funny" state.

by the way, if you're actually going to do it, the key to meditating is forgetting about the end result. Once you start, you have to quiet your mind, relax, focus on deep breathes through your belly (diaphram), and stop thinking completely. Just be. You HAVE to forget about the end result and focus on the process, otherwise, it wont help.

I also will use meditation as a way to clear my mind. We all have those times when we start worrying too much about petty things, or when we get way too stuck in our head over something. During those events, I'll sit down and meditate a bit to forget about all those silly problems. A good technique is to visualize breathing out all the tangled up, annoying thoughts that are in your mind, and breathing in calm, clear, happiness.

As for attracting girls, make sure you check out the vids and ebooks from the thread in my sig. Most of your problems deal with your "inner game", and the books and vids will help you with that.

and I'll list some final, quick tips:
1. Give the girls you interact with your full attention and INTENTION (I want to meet/fuck you). Ask questions, be curious. If a girl says "I like photography", then ask, "What do you find so cool about it? What are some of your favorite scenes to photograph?"
2. Slow the fuck down. Go easy on yourself and talk slowly
3. Be physical. Simple as that. Especially at parties when all girls want to do is fuck. Sometimes by simply pulling them closely to you, they'll get turned on quickly. You dont have to wait for the perfect time either, just do it whenever you feel like it (obviously, not too early on)
4. Hold eye contact even if it feels awkward/strange




edit: holy phuck did I srs just type all that? I'm way too nice

[swatt]

Didn't you say your school didn't have any parties? If that's the case, how will you approach them at parties.... Sorry just a little confused.

If I were you don't wait for people to throw a party or invite you someplace. Just hang out with the girl when you want, where you want, and doing what you want. If you are really feeling bold throw your own party but if you're like me then that is just not a possibility.

[bison]

Dec 26, 2013 0:19:22 GMT -5 swatt said:

Didn't you say your school didn't have any parties? If that's the case, how will you approach them at parties.... Sorry just a little confused.

If I were you don't wait for people to throw a party or invite you someplace. Just hang out with the girl when you want, where you want, and doing what you want. If you are really feeling bold throw your own party but if you're like me then that is just not a possibility.

lol yah thats just not a possibility. at our school theres like 1-2 parties every 2 months so theres not that many opportunities. like you said, just invite her over, i have no problem with that ive done it before, but i am really having a shitload of trouble actually getting to the "were talking" phase with a girl. i mean i can start talking to her a stuff and texting a little but i find it really hard to get (i really dont know another name for it) the "talking stage," where she seperates me from the other gu that she does talk to, yah know what i mean? Any tips? Exampless?

[amarok]

Dec 25, 2013 23:48:28 GMT -5 bison said:

I am lowering down from the totem pole and am definitely not the alpha man because i do not live up to my friends nor half of the schools standards. And you can't say that your self esteem wouldnt be lowered if you dont have any respect when you're around your friends and classmates. When i do get with a girl, i am really happy and have a lot of energy, ya know, i feel like im kinda just on top of the world. (figure of speech) What do you suggest?

Stop worrying about being the alpha male. That's PUA bullshit. Stop worrying about what your shitty friends are doing.

Yes, I can most definitely say my self esteem wouldn't be lowered. You have a very wrong idea of what self esteem is. Self esteem ISN'T feeling good about yourself when things are going great, IT IS remaining RESILIENT and having INTEGRITY and believing in who you are when things are going less than ideal. For the first three years of high school I had a shit reputation, a select few friends and my only girlfriend was a long distance one that I only went to second base with. I didn't give a SHIT what people thought about me because I was doing what I wanted to do, and they could go screw themselves if they didn't like it.

If you're feeling great when you're with a girl, but shitty when you're not, you're not confident. Stop fucking worrying about what other people think about you and just have a good fucking time. You don't need other people's respect, and once you realize that and start doing what you want and once what you truly want coincides giving love to everyone, you will gain respect. You don't have to be the one everyone looks at, be the one that got everyone together in the first place.

Derekk gave you good advice, take it. Go join a club you enjoy. Study more. Do SOMETHING productive. Have a goal that isn't girls.

[clayman]

You don't have to fit in with your friends to be the alpha man. The alpha man is someone who is not afraid to go his own way and do his own thing. You set your own standards and responsibilities, not them. If you set your own goals and start to rely on only yourself for input and not other biased people, you will see a big difference in your life.
I used to get depressed too when I couldn't get girls. I worried too much. And guess what? The ladies could care less about me.
Now I am confident and happy with myself, and guess what, the girls love me now. Its all about not caring what anybody thinks. I know it seems like a hard thing to do, but you have to just start doing your own thing. Get an awesome hobby to get involved with. Something that makes you happy to be alive and feel like a badass. When you start walking around, with a grin on your face and completely sure of yourself, that my friend, is when the ladies will come.

[amarok]

Dec 27, 2013 0:18:29 GMT -5 clayman said:

You don't have to fit in with your friends to be the alpha man. The alpha man is someone who is not afraid to go his own way and do his own thing. You set your own standards and responsibilities, not them. If you set your own goals and start to rely on only yourself for input and not other biased people, you will see a big difference in your life.
I used to get depressed too when I couldn't get girls. I worried too much. And guess what? The ladies could care less about me.
Now I am confident and happy with myself, and guess what, the girls love me now. Its all about not caring what anybody thinks. I know it seems like a hard thing to do, but you have to just start doing your own thing. Get an awesome hobby to get involved with. Something that makes you happy to be alive and feel like a badass. When you start walking around, with a grin on your face and completely sure of yourself, that my friend, is when the ladies will come.

This is very true. Honestly, getting a hobby and hanging out with other people that share that is about so much more than getting girls, just like this forum really is. This forum is about growing as a person and a man, and a solid group of friends that share interests behind hooking up with girls will push you to get better. Take my situation. I'm in college, I'm in a frat and they're all my friends and brothers, but I'm also the treasurer of one of the martial arts groups and honestly, the people in there are my closer friends by far. I don't use the martial arts thing to get girls, I use it to train my body and mind and meet people that share that interest. Plus I get to break shit. Life isn't about getting girls, it's about becoming a great person. Girls are a side effect of that.

[bison]

Dec 27, 2013 11:14:21 GMT -5 amarok said:

Dec 27, 2013 0:18:29 GMT -5 clayman said:

You don't have to fit in with your friends to be the alpha man. The alpha man is someone who is not afraid to go his own way and do his own thing. You set your own standards and responsibilities, not them. If you set your own goals and start to rely on only yourself for input and not other biased people, you will see a big difference in your life.
I used to get depressed too when I couldn't get girls. I worried too much. And guess what? The ladies could care less about me.
Now I am confident and happy with myself, and guess what, the girls love me now. Its all about not caring what anybody thinks. I know it seems like a hard thing to do, but you have to just start doing your own thing. Get an awesome hobby to get involved with. Something that makes you happy to be alive and feel like a badass. When you start walking around, with a grin on your face and completely sure of yourself, that my friend, is when the ladies will come.

This is very true. Honestly, getting a hobby and hanging out with other people that share that is about so much more than getting girls, just like this forum really is. This forum is about growing as a person and a man, and a solid group of friends that share interests behind hooking up with girls will push you to get better. Take my situation. I'm in college, I'm in a frat and they're all my friends and brothers, but I'm also the treasurer of one of the martial arts groups and honestly, the people in there are my closer friends by far. I don't use the martial arts thing to get girls, I use it to train my body and mind and meet people that share that interest. Plus I get to break shit. Life isn't about getting girls, it's about becoming a great person. Girls are a side effect of that.


Great Advice guys. I have a hobby, a really good one in fact. I play baseball and have offers from Dividion one schools since the beginning of the school year so that is where i go to get my mind off of things. You both put it into really good perspective for me because i figured out that i am worrying about the wrong things in life and start doing what i want instead of what my friends want me to do and to just tone my friends out when they are always talking about getting girls all the time. Live my life for me and not for them! Guys, this was great help i appreciate it! thnk you

[derekk]

baseball over bitches, my friend, baseball over bitches...