Post by derekk on Jan 3, 2014 19:12:00 GMT -5
This is a long post I wrote in the under-21 SP forum on a thread that was discussing whether or not high schoolers should even be doing pickup.
This is the point of view that I have adopted, and I just wanted to it share with you
Response I got from another guy-
This is the point of view that I have adopted, and I just wanted to it share with you
As a highschool student, I feel that pickup should only be used as an entrance into self development, rather than to become the
"best pua evar"
and fuck as many chicks as you can
all of these other highschoolers that stick with pickup throughout their teen years end up turning into pickup robots. They start adopting the "pickup" attitudes and incorporating it into their daily life, especially during school.
What's the result?
They become EVEN MORE nervous than they normally would without having learned about pickup whenever they want to go talk to a new girl.
-They start referring to it as "approaching", and if they don't "approach" the girl, then it's mission failed. Then they start beating themselves up over it and feeling bad that they didn't 'approach'.
-How about I mention some more problem-creating pickup language. How about "approach anxiety", "beasting girls", killing the "bitch shield", and "plowing the shit test"?
All of those contribute to the pickup paradigm, which is all about TAKING/GETTING. You want to take her number, you want to get sex from her, you want to take away her power, etc.
It's UNHUMAN.
...think about it folks. before you found pickup, if you didn't go talk to a girl that you liked, would you have ever viewed it as a FAILURE?
No. You would have thought VERY little of it.
Would you be beating yourself up about it the next day?
Nope. you would have forgotten.
Edit: wanted to add more
Instead of doing all that BULLSHIT, everyone our age should be looking into personal development/self help material/lifestyle design.
The thing is, we're only like 14-18 years old. We're still finding out what our passion is, or what we want to spend the rest of our life doing. If we start pickup too early, and make it our center of attention, bad things happen. We start spending hours and hours of our day watching the best videos, reading the best material, etc., and we start to take on the identity of a seducer or PUA.
Meanwhile, the other kids who havent discovered pickup are enjoying themselves, occupying their time with sports, traveling, getting a job, etc., and THEY'RE ALWAYS the ones that end up having girlfriends.
Why? Because they have stuff going on in their lives. Girls aren't their center of attention. They put their passions before the girls, and that's what makes them attractive.
If your only passion is "pickup", then your life basically revolves around girls. What happens if you aren't able to go out and talk to girls on a constant? You have nothing worth value. Not attractive at all.
You MUST develop a good lifestyle before you start pickup. It can't be your prime hobby.
Edit2: Why is Pickup So Appealing To Us?
had to write more...
the reason there are so many highschoolers here is because pickup fits their personal narratives PERFECTLY.
It follows the whole "Get revenge on all the girls that dumped you, prove you're better than the popular guys in your grade, get any girl you want, and never get rejected again." dream that we're all so dearly familiar with.
Why not, instead of treating all the girls as bombs that you have to take out, be nice to them instead?
Why not, instead of trying to TAKE and GET things from them, such as validation, approval, their phone number (the golden ticket?), sex, etc., we GIVE?
Lets change our goal to having fun, and to showing her a fun time. Let's give girls compliments, just to make their day better. Lets give them the opportunity to meet an awesome guy. Let's share our happiness with them. Lets give them our attention and intention.
That way, we don't have to worry about getting rejected. We don't care. Our goal is to have fun.
See the difference?
If my goal were to get her number, and I didn't manage to, then it instantly becomes a rejection or failure and my day would be ruined.
"best pua evar"
and fuck as many chicks as you can
all of these other highschoolers that stick with pickup throughout their teen years end up turning into pickup robots. They start adopting the "pickup" attitudes and incorporating it into their daily life, especially during school.
What's the result?
They become EVEN MORE nervous than they normally would without having learned about pickup whenever they want to go talk to a new girl.
-They start referring to it as "approaching", and if they don't "approach" the girl, then it's mission failed. Then they start beating themselves up over it and feeling bad that they didn't 'approach'.
-How about I mention some more problem-creating pickup language. How about "approach anxiety", "beasting girls", killing the "bitch shield", and "plowing the shit test"?
All of those contribute to the pickup paradigm, which is all about TAKING/GETTING. You want to take her number, you want to get sex from her, you want to take away her power, etc.
It's UNHUMAN.
...think about it folks. before you found pickup, if you didn't go talk to a girl that you liked, would you have ever viewed it as a FAILURE?
No. You would have thought VERY little of it.
Would you be beating yourself up about it the next day?
Nope. you would have forgotten.
Edit: wanted to add more
Instead of doing all that BULLSHIT, everyone our age should be looking into personal development/self help material/lifestyle design.
The thing is, we're only like 14-18 years old. We're still finding out what our passion is, or what we want to spend the rest of our life doing. If we start pickup too early, and make it our center of attention, bad things happen. We start spending hours and hours of our day watching the best videos, reading the best material, etc., and we start to take on the identity of a seducer or PUA.
Meanwhile, the other kids who havent discovered pickup are enjoying themselves, occupying their time with sports, traveling, getting a job, etc., and THEY'RE ALWAYS the ones that end up having girlfriends.
Why? Because they have stuff going on in their lives. Girls aren't their center of attention. They put their passions before the girls, and that's what makes them attractive.
If your only passion is "pickup", then your life basically revolves around girls. What happens if you aren't able to go out and talk to girls on a constant? You have nothing worth value. Not attractive at all.
You MUST develop a good lifestyle before you start pickup. It can't be your prime hobby.
Edit2: Why is Pickup So Appealing To Us?
had to write more...
the reason there are so many highschoolers here is because pickup fits their personal narratives PERFECTLY.
It follows the whole "Get revenge on all the girls that dumped you, prove you're better than the popular guys in your grade, get any girl you want, and never get rejected again." dream that we're all so dearly familiar with.
Why not, instead of treating all the girls as bombs that you have to take out, be nice to them instead?
Why not, instead of trying to TAKE and GET things from them, such as validation, approval, their phone number (the golden ticket?), sex, etc., we GIVE?
Lets change our goal to having fun, and to showing her a fun time. Let's give girls compliments, just to make their day better. Lets give them the opportunity to meet an awesome guy. Let's share our happiness with them. Lets give them our attention and intention.
That way, we don't have to worry about getting rejected. We don't care. Our goal is to have fun.
See the difference?
If my goal were to get her number, and I didn't manage to, then it instantly becomes a rejection or failure and my day would be ruined.
Response I got from another guy-
I agree with everything that you said, but the fact that you put it into negative perspective isn't exactly my forte.
There's three kinds of people that will read this and get totally different views.
One will shoo it off as an excuse as to not getting better. The approach machine.
Second one will use that as a justified excuse to not incorporate pickup. The chode
Third one is the person who has been through all these stages, and would want to agree.
To be honest, this post is a very personality oriented and I don't want high schoolers to look at this incorrectly. Develop your lifestyle before getting into pickup. Extremely biased and totally uncalled for. You're directing this post to the average chode, but should better suited for the "approach monkey" I'll write exactly why...
In your post "Why is Pickup so Appealing to us"
In a sense it's a low-level paradigm that will motivate a person to get off his ass and do something with his life. Everyone needs to go through it. If a "chode" were to adopt this higher paradigm of thinking (your post) to his life...it would be near impossible for him to get off his ass, and soon partake in self-development. It's like a book. I've read plenty of books when I was ten that completely bored me. But when I turn 15 (another stage in my life), the book engulfed me. There's no motivation to read (do pickup) if it doesn't apply to my life / apply to my way of thinking
So what I'm saying is that what you're mentioning, in a sense, is the first stage that everyone has to go through. In a sense, it's the first stage of self-development...until consciously knowing that you're developing yourself. These low-levels of thinking is what motivates people to incorporate a habit in their life. And until you have incorporated it in your life, it's acceptable to take on this monstrosity of higher thinking (powah's post). Hence, approach monkey. By definition the approach monkey/machine opens sets while maintaining his DGAF attitude (low-level thinking). If you continue that, you're going to become stagnant in progress, which is what I think you're really concerned with Powah. Sooner or later, you're gonna drop this DGAF attitude and start to calibrate
. If you told a noob to "calibrate" (a little higher level of thinking) he would panic. That's why you give the noob the "DGAF" mentality.
You just need to know the right time to apply it in your life. Actually, if you can relate (experienced) to EVERYTHING he says it's time for a higher level of thinking
If not, disregard everything he says.
There's three kinds of people that will read this and get totally different views.
One will shoo it off as an excuse as to not getting better. The approach machine.
Second one will use that as a justified excuse to not incorporate pickup. The chode
Third one is the person who has been through all these stages, and would want to agree.
To be honest, this post is a very personality oriented and I don't want high schoolers to look at this incorrectly. Develop your lifestyle before getting into pickup. Extremely biased and totally uncalled for. You're directing this post to the average chode, but should better suited for the "approach monkey" I'll write exactly why...
In your post "Why is Pickup so Appealing to us"
In a sense it's a low-level paradigm that will motivate a person to get off his ass and do something with his life. Everyone needs to go through it. If a "chode" were to adopt this higher paradigm of thinking (your post) to his life...it would be near impossible for him to get off his ass, and soon partake in self-development. It's like a book. I've read plenty of books when I was ten that completely bored me. But when I turn 15 (another stage in my life), the book engulfed me. There's no motivation to read (do pickup) if it doesn't apply to my life / apply to my way of thinking
So what I'm saying is that what you're mentioning, in a sense, is the first stage that everyone has to go through. In a sense, it's the first stage of self-development...until consciously knowing that you're developing yourself. These low-levels of thinking is what motivates people to incorporate a habit in their life. And until you have incorporated it in your life, it's acceptable to take on this monstrosity of higher thinking (powah's post). Hence, approach monkey. By definition the approach monkey/machine opens sets while maintaining his DGAF attitude (low-level thinking). If you continue that, you're going to become stagnant in progress, which is what I think you're really concerned with Powah. Sooner or later, you're gonna drop this DGAF attitude and start to calibrate
. If you told a noob to "calibrate" (a little higher level of thinking) he would panic. That's why you give the noob the "DGAF" mentality. You just need to know the right time to apply it in your life. Actually, if you can relate (experienced) to EVERYTHING he says it's time for a higher level of thinking
If not, disregard everything he says.
