my relationship symptoms

[swatt]

Hey guys

So I have been dating my gf now for 5 months. This is my first relationship I've been in and I feel like I've done pretty well for the most part, but not these past couple weeks or so. I really really like this girl and I'm certain that I want to be in a relationship with her.

So I really do need some help here because I am having a very hard time finding anybody who can help me. I'm just gonna list some of my "symptoms" I've been having:

- My biggest problem I've had is feeling fatigue whenever I am around my girlfriend. Its like a total lack of concentration and sometimes actually feeling sleepy. I tried various fixes for this problem like: gettting more sleep, taking add medicine before I go hangout, drinking coffee or an energy drink, and even working out regularly (because it supossed to give you more energy). While this fatigue is mainly around my girlfriend, it has also happened recently at dinners and other social events. Its generally a lethargic feeling. It feels like I am bored with her but I have no way to control it and it is unnatural.

- Jealousy/unhappiness. I'm not sure how to explain these feelings because they really dont come off to me as jealously, but I also dont know any other way to call them. Being new to everything I took things very slowly throughout this relationship. I think that recently (like in the past 2 months) I have begun to feel very strong feelings towards my girlfriend. The majority of the time they come off as either worry or jealously. Honestly though.... it really is unlike me to feel any strong feelings at all. so feeling jealously is one of the last things I would expect.

- not wanting to do anything... It feels like my thoughts are always on my relationship, yet I never get the urge to hang out with her.

I really do think that these negative feelings are because of me, not her.

Any help would be greatly appreciated as I am desperate right now for help

[amarok]

If this is your first relationship, then you really have no idea if these are natural for you or not, do you? This is a new situation with brand feelings, so try not to stress yourself out. You're actively learning by experience.

General advice: relationships aren't all sunshine and unicorn smiles. You're going to have not great feelings sometimes, just like any other part of life. You don't HAVE to be happy all the time, so don't put that burden on yourself.

On being fatigued, I'm going to go ahead and guess that whenever you and your gf are hanging out together, you're doing the same things together. Watching tv, movies, playing something together, something like that. When that went on for about 5 months for me in all three of my previous relationships, I felt the same way you do. The truth is, you don't have to be doing something with your girlfriend if you're hanging out. You can be doing your own thing and just be enjoying her presence while she does her thing.

For example, my girlfriend is on her desktop in her room right now looking up ideas for what to draw at arts fest. Before that, she was playing Guild Wars 2 while I'm on here. Before that, she was resting/napping and I was playing Guild Wars 2. I'm on her bed, btw, not next to her. Yet we're still hanging out. Being able to do your own thing not only is more comfortable, but it allows the times your doing something together to be more special. Doing something with her because you want to, not because it's the only thing you can possibly do with her. Hopefully this helps this. And maybe she makes you comfortable enough to become sleepy. Also, try going to bed and hanging out with people earlier in the evening. Going to bed at around 1030-11 will do wonders for your energy.

I'm really not sure what you mean by jealousy. Jealous about what? Unhappy about what? With where the relationship is going? With something she's doing?

[swatt]

Damn Amarok this is exactly what I needed. I read this before I met with my girlfriend and it kinda changed my perspective. We ended up talking about this stuff and she had noticed all of this. She was worried that I didn't want to date her anymore but I explained it and now she wants to help me fix everything. Part of me thinks it's just a mental block that I need to get past.

I don't remember a single time where we've hung out but done our own things.... I'll make sure to try it out at a good time

[amarok]

I'm glad I could help. Just be mindful that you don't end up ignoring her. Every now and then just give her a hug and a kiss, or just remain talking.