Popular but not getting girls?

[vetap]

Recently I moved up the social scale substantially. I was basically a nobody, hanging around high school dropouts and freshmen (I'm a sophomore). But now I'm hanging around the most popular kids all the time, they even initiate hangouts and spread the word that I'm the shit now. Girls want to hang with me, but as friends. Even last night, I had a sleepover with my friend and 2 girls. One of the girls wouldn't even sleep next to me. I'm not a bad looking kid, I have good hygiene, whats the problem?

[amarok]

I'm going to preface my answer with this: You haven't given us a lot to go on and without knowing you, it's really hard to tell what the problem is online. There's no way to see how you're interacting with people, and what you say may be distorted. It's a natural, unconscious reaction, but unfortunate.

So then. It seems to me like there's two possibilities. Either you did some pretty shitty things to people to get where you are on the social scale and while people will enjoy hanging out with you, girls know not to trust you. Or, you're a really cool guy to hang out with. Maybe you're really funny and fool around all the time, making everyone laughs and making sure everyone is having a good time. But girls don't want that. Your personality or behaviors may just not be attractive to them. You may have fallen into the funny guy or the nice guy categories, and the truth is, those people are lower on the social scale then they think.

That, or you've just got some behavioral or attitudinal quirks or flaws that they don't like.

[vetap]

May 10, 2015 18:35:38 GMT -5 amarok said:

I'm going to preface my answer with this: You haven't given us a lot to go on and without knowing you, it's really hard to tell what the problem is online. There's no way to see how you're interacting with people, and what you say may be distorted. It's a natural, unconscious reaction, but unfortunate.

So then. It seems to me like there's two possibilities. Either you did some pretty shitty things to people to get where you are on the social scale and while people will enjoy hanging out with you, girls know not to trust you. Or, you're a really cool guy to hang out with. Maybe you're really funny and fool around all the time, making everyone laughs and making sure everyone is having a good time. But girls don't want that. Your personality or behaviors may just not be attractive to them. You may have fallen into the funny guy or the nice guy categories, and the truth is, those people are lower on the social scale then they think.

That, or you've just got some behavioral or attitudinal quirks or flaws that they don't like.



I'd say I'm the really cool guy to hang out with. But I'm not always fooling around, when something has to be done I get it done. If people in the group are freaking out I keep it calm. I DO provide value though, I'll tell my friends how cool they are, laugh at shit they say and shit that happens.

[shyguy]

You're new to the social group. So the difference between u and the other dudes is that they've known the girls in your new social circle for years probably. I'd suggest you just start talking to girls one on one and just establish rapport then go from there.