Post by Chris on Nov 4, 2008 19:01:27 GMT -5
Most people let their emotions control their lives. If something or someone gives them an unpleasant emotion, they will often avoid this thing, even if doing it will give them some type of success. Some people even have an ANTICIPATED emotional response to an emotional situation. Have you ever felt anxiety just because you THOUGHT about doing something that would cause anxiety? Probably. That will create quite the mental mess. As we know in pick-up, having these problems will not help you. To have mastery in pick-up it is essential to master your emotions.
Become Conscious
Step one in mastering your emotions is become conscious of them. Most people do not pay attention at all to their emotions to the point where they are on auto-pilot. They may as well be hard-wired. Catch yourself when you have anticipated anxiety, letting unpleasant emotions run your life, and any other unhelpful emotional situations.
Incorporate "Pausing"
There is a certain time between when a specific event happens, and the actual emotional response. For most people, it is usually instant. After an even occurs that would normally set off unpleasant emotions inside you, consciously pause for a few seconds and look at the situation differently. YOU choose how you react to the situation.
Exercise: Picture in your mind something that really pisses you off. Now imagine that event happening but before you emotionally respond, pause and look at the situation differently. Choose to laugh at the situation consciously. Now practice this a few times mentally so when the situation comes up, you can pause and laugh at the situation. This helps keep composure.
Emotional Reframing
As humans, we tend to wrap emotions around one another, untill it becomes a tangled mess. For an example, you might feel jealous because the girl you like is with another guy, then you get angry at yourself because you know it's immature, then you get depressed because you are angry at yourself. So you have depression about anger, about jealousy. Getting rid of this web of emotions can be very difficult because they are all strongly linked together.
Instead, the best way to get rid of them is to wrap a positive emotion around all of the negative ones, changing them all. So let's take the above example into context again. Once you were depressed, imagine you became "fascinated" by your depression. It actually made you excited because you found a part of you that needs to be worked on and developed.
So imagine about feeling happy because you felt approach anxiety. How could you feel happy about that? Well, because you just saw an opportunity to work on and develop yourself. You feel excited because this destructive part of you has been revealed and you now have an opportunity to develop it. Try it consciously. I now become happy when I get AA because I know now that I need to work on it more, when before, I didn't know it. Wrapping an emotion around a previous emotion will permanently change the old one.
Compound Emotions
Now that you know how to reframe negative emotions into positive emotions, you can now create compound positive emotions. You can stack positive emotions on top of eachother. Now it is a super powerful emotion that destroys all negative emotions. So here is a two layered example: Anticipation about feeling fulfilled. Imagine yourself feeling fulfilled, now you have a positive anticipation because of it.
So here is a three layer one: what if you felt excited about something, then you felt confident because you were excited, then you felt grateful because you were confident about being excited. Powerful. Having these positive compound emotions will literally propell you forward and make you a much happier person.
So now you have several tools to master your emotions. Doing this will not only help you be successful with women, but you can apply in every other area of your life. Credit much of this information to David DeAngelo.
Become Conscious
Step one in mastering your emotions is become conscious of them. Most people do not pay attention at all to their emotions to the point where they are on auto-pilot. They may as well be hard-wired. Catch yourself when you have anticipated anxiety, letting unpleasant emotions run your life, and any other unhelpful emotional situations.
Incorporate "Pausing"
There is a certain time between when a specific event happens, and the actual emotional response. For most people, it is usually instant. After an even occurs that would normally set off unpleasant emotions inside you, consciously pause for a few seconds and look at the situation differently. YOU choose how you react to the situation.
Exercise: Picture in your mind something that really pisses you off. Now imagine that event happening but before you emotionally respond, pause and look at the situation differently. Choose to laugh at the situation consciously. Now practice this a few times mentally so when the situation comes up, you can pause and laugh at the situation. This helps keep composure.
Emotional Reframing
As humans, we tend to wrap emotions around one another, untill it becomes a tangled mess. For an example, you might feel jealous because the girl you like is with another guy, then you get angry at yourself because you know it's immature, then you get depressed because you are angry at yourself. So you have depression about anger, about jealousy. Getting rid of this web of emotions can be very difficult because they are all strongly linked together.
Instead, the best way to get rid of them is to wrap a positive emotion around all of the negative ones, changing them all. So let's take the above example into context again. Once you were depressed, imagine you became "fascinated" by your depression. It actually made you excited because you found a part of you that needs to be worked on and developed.
So imagine about feeling happy because you felt approach anxiety. How could you feel happy about that? Well, because you just saw an opportunity to work on and develop yourself. You feel excited because this destructive part of you has been revealed and you now have an opportunity to develop it. Try it consciously. I now become happy when I get AA because I know now that I need to work on it more, when before, I didn't know it. Wrapping an emotion around a previous emotion will permanently change the old one.
Compound Emotions
Now that you know how to reframe negative emotions into positive emotions, you can now create compound positive emotions. You can stack positive emotions on top of eachother. Now it is a super powerful emotion that destroys all negative emotions. So here is a two layered example: Anticipation about feeling fulfilled. Imagine yourself feeling fulfilled, now you have a positive anticipation because of it.
So here is a three layer one: what if you felt excited about something, then you felt confident because you were excited, then you felt grateful because you were confident about being excited. Powerful. Having these positive compound emotions will literally propell you forward and make you a much happier person.
So now you have several tools to master your emotions. Doing this will not only help you be successful with women, but you can apply in every other area of your life. Credit much of this information to David DeAngelo.
