Post by Chris on Oct 7, 2008 19:48:51 GMT -5
A lot of new guys have this sticking point: they are good at generating attraction and what not but they dont physically escalate resulting in LJBF. When they identify this sticking point, it often takes them down another bad path: being too eager to escalate.
So when they realized kino was the problem, they try to escalate EVERY CHANCE THEY GET! This can look VERY needy. Bad move. Often guys have the mindset that they are taking value from advancing physically with the target (wether they're aware of it or not). This is where A LOT of rejection comes from. The girls can sense that the guys are trying to get something from them (sex). This will never get things done for you. In fact, one extremely powerful thing you can do with a girl is when you have an obvious opportunity to advance physically, is to not do so, or at least wait to create anticipation. (wait because you feel like it, not because of fear).
So the solution: When physically escalating (or anything else for that matter!!!), you need to have the mindset that you are offering value to the girl. She will love that you guys are advancing because she sees it as valuable. DO NOT make it seem like you are trying to "get something from her." Have the mindset that she will enjoy physically escalating and it will be the best thing you guys could do. Remember, offer value, dont take.
A lot of inexperienced guys get confused with this. On one end they hear you need to be advancing with your target. On the other end, its dont be constantly advancing or you will seem too needy like you are trying to get something from her. Well, both concepts are right. Physically escalating is kind of a paradox. You need to develop the sense of when to escalate and when to pull back through experience. If you are thinking to yourself "jeeze i need to be escalating" you could very well come off as needy. Take the mindset of offering value.
So when they realized kino was the problem, they try to escalate EVERY CHANCE THEY GET! This can look VERY needy. Bad move. Often guys have the mindset that they are taking value from advancing physically with the target (wether they're aware of it or not). This is where A LOT of rejection comes from. The girls can sense that the guys are trying to get something from them (sex). This will never get things done for you. In fact, one extremely powerful thing you can do with a girl is when you have an obvious opportunity to advance physically, is to not do so, or at least wait to create anticipation. (wait because you feel like it, not because of fear).
So the solution: When physically escalating (or anything else for that matter!!!), you need to have the mindset that you are offering value to the girl. She will love that you guys are advancing because she sees it as valuable. DO NOT make it seem like you are trying to "get something from her." Have the mindset that she will enjoy physically escalating and it will be the best thing you guys could do. Remember, offer value, dont take.
A lot of inexperienced guys get confused with this. On one end they hear you need to be advancing with your target. On the other end, its dont be constantly advancing or you will seem too needy like you are trying to get something from her. Well, both concepts are right. Physically escalating is kind of a paradox. You need to develop the sense of when to escalate and when to pull back through experience. If you are thinking to yourself "jeeze i need to be escalating" you could very well come off as needy. Take the mindset of offering value.
